Am I being selfish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Am I being selfish?
6
Thu, 08-06-2009 - 5:22pm

Wednesday and Thursday are Gary's days off-- therefore my ONLY days to get something done. On top of wanting to clean the house, I wanted to go out and get some exercise. I asked him this morning if we could take Owen to the park and feed the geese. His response "I have plans to go golf with my dad"

Well then I hear him talking to his dad today MAKING PLANS to go golf!!! So, not only did he make other plans for when he's off conveniently leaving me with the baby, but he made plans AFTER I had already asked him to do something!

It's now almost 230 and I just realized I have a pp dr's appt at 330. (I did NOT forget on purpose). There is NO way I can get ready and feed the baby and be out of the house by myself with him to get to the appt in time. So... now Gary is acting all bent out of shape and pissed off because he had to cancel golf with his dad so that he can help me out.

#1-- I'm still pissed about the golfing plans being made in the first place #2-- I dont feel bad at all and i'm totally letting him be pissed off

Am I being selfish for making him cancel plans?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2005
Thu, 08-06-2009 - 5:36pm
I dont think you are selfish for wanting to hang out with your man, but regardless of whether you are or not, your little man comes 1st, no matter what! IMHO, its not fair of him to be upset, life happens! maybe when you get back you can explain why you want to spend time with him and how you feel, and he might surprise you by explaining his need to go play golf?!? men have a strange way of feeling entitled to a break, without regards to anyone elses need for a break, if ya KWIM?!? cant hurt to talk to him about it. GL at your appt :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2007
Thu, 08-06-2009 - 5:47pm
NO!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 08-06-2009 - 7:51pm

I don't think you are being selfish at all. Part of being a dad is having to do things you don't want to do and sometimes having to cancel plans you make. I am sure as a mother you do things all the time that you don't want to do, like clean up poop and get peed on. How about middle of the night feedings. Those are all things I would like to not have to do. I also have to constently remind my dh that I don't have days off and my job is a 24/7 job and that he can lose his attitude when he has to help or move out cause I don't have the time for 3 kids.


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Lilypie

Lilypie

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2008
Thu, 08-06-2009 - 11:00pm
NO WAY...your not being selfish.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 10:19am
I don't think you are being selfish, I totally know what you mean!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2008
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 11:16am

okay your post has me laughing so hard. Its just so funny because those are such excuses! I Know nothing about trucks but I know it cant possibly take 3 saturdays just to deal with the rotars!

My SO helps with every feeding (I kinda make him. Usually I nurse and then pump afterward so I leave him with a bottle to feed whil I pump in the living room). And he constantly wants a break! He gets upset because I tell him how nice it would be for ME to get a break. His response? "just leave him with my mom"... um, hello?! He's barely 7 weeks only. I'm not "just leaving" him with anyone!

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