dh's family it never ends

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
dh's family it never ends
5
Tue, 05-18-2010 - 11:29pm
DH and I have a wedding coming up for his cousin in 2 weeks. We will be bringing Ayden, his little tuxedo arrived today and he looks just absolutely adorable in it. Brian and his cousin Laura are very close. We were up to visit them this weekend to help them move into their new home and for me to help Laura shop for her makeup since I am doing her makeup for the wedding. Well we found out that Brian's mother is undecided about attending because having Brian and me there with our son whom she has not met will be too much for her to bear. There is a very poor relationship there and she had sent Brian an email telling him that she wanted nothing to do with us or our son and we have held her to that. But now in addition to her there are a handful of others who haven't rsvp'd and seem to be siding with his mother and refusing to go because we were invited and will be there. I feel so bad, I haven't done anything to these people to warrant being treated the way that they treat me and but now they are taking it out on others and blaming me for it and I have had just about enough of it all. I just don't know what to do about all of this anymore. At this point my claws are out because now they are involving my son and I just want to tear into people. On one hand them not showing up will guarantee that there is no conflict whatsoever which Brian and I had been concerned about but at the same time I feel so guilty and angry that they are using my son and me as an exscuse. I really believe that DH's mom is not going because she is trying to hide that she is back to drinking and lying to everyone about it and there is an open bar at the wedding. I don't think she can control herself to not drink in front of everyone and it just infuriates me that she is using us. Then I feel bad for his cousin because this is such a special day for her and they are doing this to her and I am afraid at some point that she is going to resent DH because of all the drama. It is just so frustrating !!!!

 PCOS, Insulin Resistance, MTHFR, APS (Hughes Syndrome) and a Mullerian Anomaly  (bicornuate uteru

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 9:26am
I have been in a similar situation and the way i see it, is his mom has done this to herself. if she didnt want it this way then she shouldnt of sent the email and so forth. your DH's cousin probably understands why things are the way they are and might even be secretly hoping that the people that are wanting to act silly and immature dont show up and ruin their wedding. Have you thought about talking to his cousin about the situation, to see where she stands with it? to see how much it bothers her? I really hope that one day this passes but unfortunately sometimes it doesnt and we just have to accept that some people will show their a$$ no matter what the real situation is and if they have a reason to or not. *i bet your LO will look so freakin cute in his little tux :) *
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2008
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 1:35pm
Brian's mother hated me and started spreading rumors about me to other family members before she met me. She started when she found out that he was dating someone. The rumors were pretty horrible and by the time dh and I had found out about them most people already believed them. She moved in DH's ex who had a child by another man into her home and tried to get DH to leave me for his ex. Then when that didn't happen and DH confronted her on it she said she wanted nothing to do with anything that was coming out of my rotten crotch and then twisted it to say that I would be the reason that she never saw our son and that was fine since she had dh's ex's daughter. There's plenty more including a fist fight between dh and his stepfather because of her lies, a funeral erupting in a fight because of her lies and stealing medications and jewelry

 PCOS, Insulin Resistance, MTHFR, APS (Hughes Syndrome) and a Mullerian Anomaly  (bicornuate uteru

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2004
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 8:33am
All I can say is UGH!
 
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2009
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 7:11am
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this.

Tessa


Mom to 6 kids and 3 angels!



iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
Wed, 05-19-2010 - 2:54am
That is so awful and immature. I am so sorry you are having to deal with all that. I understand where you are coming from but in the end it was THEIR choice to do this, and you did nothing to encourage them not to come. They can try to blame you all they want but THEY are responsible for their own actions and trying to blame that on you is absolutely immature and ridiculous. BIG HUGS!! I hope they have a wonderful day!!






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