I am still alive!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
I am still alive!!
13
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 9:41am

Warning this is going to be long and I wasnt sure where to put it, its a combo of a rant and a sap story so if you make it to the end bless you!


I dont know what to do anymore... I want to curse, I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to care again yet I want to say screw all of them. I want them to care, I want them to even act like they know who the he!! I am. I want them to know their grandchild, I want them to

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2007
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 9:52am
Sorry, no advice...just (((hugs))). DH is going through the exact same thing with his parents. They don't communicate anything to him and even though they live only 30 minutes away, they have only seen Isabella a couple times. It is heartbreaking for him. Lots of P&PTs coming your way.

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~Shandi

DD 2/8/10

DS 9/12/11

Surprise due 12/25/13

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 10:02am

yah it is very hard for Dh to understand because he has the most loving and the most wonderful family ever so he just doesnt get it... :(


thank you for the hugs and p&pt :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-2009
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 10:48am

Kyla

Tessa


Mom to 6 kids and 3 angels!



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 10:56am
It is so nice to know that there is someone else out there that is going through the same thing. Things will get better for you too. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 5:38pm

Kyla, BIG, HUGE (((hugs))) I totally know how you feel. Half of my family is just like yours. The other half has been so stricken with health problems that (even though it's not their fault) I hardly hear from them unless it's a phone call to say that my dad is on his way back the hospital. None of my parents (step or bio) are really that involved with my kids. My dad really wants to be but he has been so sick that every time we go to see him he is either sleeping or in the hospital. My stepmom leaves me out of everything. My mom hates DF and has pretty much completely disowned me along with my siblings. I have 2 out of 6 siblings that talk to me and that's 2 of my sisters (1 step, 1 half). We're not as close as I would like to be though.

DF does not understand at all why I get so upset because his parents are really awesome. They are much more involved with my 2 kids than any of my parents. One of my children isn't even biologically their grandchild but you would never even know the difference between her and Rhett who is. They spoil both of them just the same. That's why we are moving down to Miami to be with them.

I'm so sorry. I really, honestly do know exactly how you feel. My mom goes for months without calling me or to check on the kids. She lives 5 minutes away, literally.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 9:40pm
No advice or words of wisdom, just tons of hugs!
~~Kim
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2009
Tue, 08-10-2010 - 10:25pm
I am so sorry about your family. I can't say I know completely what you are going through, but I understand. Family can be so wonderful yet so horrible at the same time. It's so hard because you know they are your family, and you feel like its your fault things aren't the way they should be, but its not. I just hope for your sake that they see the wonderful daughter and precious grandson they are missing! **HUGS**
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 2:49am

I am so sorry for everything that's gone on with you and your parents. I know what it's like to have crappy parents. Mine are either one is with me, one is against me, or trying to tell me how they are with me and the other is against me. Ah divorce. Sometimes I would love to tell them they (on occasion... some more then others) have BOTH been crappy, and BOTH had their supportive moments and I am tired of hearing about it constantly when I am trying to forgive and forget!! My dad is constantly saying "your mom kicked you out, she was never there for you during your depression, she never gave you a baby shower" and tired of hearing from my mom "your dad doesn't care about you, all he cares about is looking good to his girlfriend, he told you guys you had to find a new place this summer" etc etc. I am SO sick of it!!

Yikes sorry that turned into my own rant there, I just wanted to let you know I get how stressful a strained relationship with your parents is. You want to love them and you cling to the rare flashes of times where you were happy together. But you have to ask yourself, is the stress really worth it? What if they do this to your son? Pop in and out of his life. Possibly show affection to one grandchild over another. It's not just your heart getting broken anymore, now you have your son's they are messing with. And it's not right and it's not fair but only you can break the cycle. And if in the future they get it together and really want to start over and be good grand parents I would reconsider. But for now they have made it pretty clear you're not in their loop, and by default neither is your son.

Big hugs!!!






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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2006
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 3:54am

((HUGS)) I really know how you feel! My dad passed away when I was a small child and my mom....eh, well, I call that mean

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
Wed, 08-11-2010 - 10:17am

Kim- Thank you for the ((hugs)) they help :)


Leslie- It is totally frustrating to know that I have done all I can possibly do and they still dont care... it really really bothered me for a long time but I have realized there is nothing more I can do to try and make something out of nothing.


Amy- You are so right about popping in and out. I do not and will not have that happen to Will. I know one thing I will not allow them to hurt them the way they have hurt me for many years. they will surely get a go to he!! if they think they are going to pull one on him!


Kristen- Eric tells me to simply tell them kiss your butt and be done with them- but only if it was that easy. It is so much easier to tell a non-family to screw off than it is to tell someone that is family- no matter what they do- gosh and it sucks LOL. My brother and I were really close before I moved but after I moved he basically wrote me off after that. So now to me its me DH and the LO and i have grown to like that.


Lacey- You and I both have learned what NOT to do with your children. I have sworn up and down about what will be different and how I will NOT treat Will. I guess there is an upside to a screwy childhood :) There are alot of times I wish things would of been different and that I would of been able to of lived the life the kids around me lived but now I am glad things happened the way they did because like you said I am a better mother, wife and person all the way around.

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