Just Venting

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-31-2007
Just Venting
2
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 7:32pm

Okay, so I love my in laws. I really and truly do. They are two wonderful people, have always been welcoming and accepting of me and are generally just really great folks.

That being said, since becoming pregnant and subsequently having this child, they have driven me INSANE.
I knew that they'd be attached to this kid. They are both absolutely grandkid-crazy. They would literally walk into oncoming traffic if one of their grandkids commanded them to, just to make them happy. For my MIL, her entire life has been that of a SAHM and wife. Which, there is NOTHING wrong with. I want to be a SAHM. But that's been HER WHOLE LIFE. Her identity lies as a SAHM and wife to her husband. So naturally when grandkids came about, her entire life and identity revolved around them. Which is fine, except it's a little annoying sometimes.

The good part about having excited grandparents is that they will watch the baby on a moment's notice, and do it enthusiastically and pretty much as often as we could want. The bad part is that they can be stifling, pesty, and just overall annoying. My mother in law insists on knowing exactly what Nellie wore what day, and where every single time we see them. She sits there and stares at her and comments on every. little. thing. she. does. You would think that this was their first grandkid, but it's not. My father in law thinks that he is the only person alive who knows how to take care of a kid. If I mention I use any other kind of diaper rash cream besides Desitin, he gives me a look. If I talk about how she doesn't sleep more than 3 hours at a time, he tells me to put rice cereal in her formula. When I tell him we're not doing that 'till she's older, he gives me a look. When I told him we put her to bed on her back, he voiced his concern about choking on spit up. When I told him that babies have a reflex that makes them swallow spit up, and regardless her head almost always falls to the side when she's on her back, he gives me a look.

And don't even get me started about waking her up. I was so pissed the other night. My husband called to see if they wanted to come over and see her before he left for work for the night. They said of course. By the time they got over here, it was almost 9 PM and Nellie had fallen asleep in her bouncer chair. They walked over to her and my mother in law went on and on about her, how cute she was, but she said she was going to let her be since she was asleep. My father in law, on the other hand, just couldn't NOT TOUCH HER. He was messing with her little fingers and petting her hair until he WOKE HER UP. She started to cry and he got her out of the chair exclaiming that he "couldn't just look at her". He carried her to the chair and she fell back asleep on his chest. I was NOT HAPPY. When I told this to my husband he defended his parents saying, "We can't just invite them over and expect them to just look at her."

UM, YES WE CAN. You DON'T WAKE A SLEEPING BABY. If they get here and she's sleeping, I don't give a rip if they only get to sit there and look at her. DON'T WAKE UP MY KID. Then there's the fact that if they go more than 2 days without seeing her they start calling. All the time. My brother, who lives WAY out of state and whom I only see once a year if I'm lucky is coming into town in 2 weeks. My mother in law asked if he was staying with us and I said yes. For a week. She exclaimed that he will just have to get used to her and my FIL coming around because she just can't go a whole week without seeing this baby!

Um, yeah, you can. Do you honestly have to butt in on my brother's time with his first niece? Who he will probably not get to see again until close to Christmas? You can't give my family members ONE WEEK to enjoy her ALONE?

Okay, I'm done. I really do love my in laws and am grateful to have them. But I had to vent, because I can NOT vocalize this to my husband. He would get really angry and offended if I did. I guess this is just part of having in laws, huh? If you made it this far, BLESS YOU. You deserve a cookie!

 



 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2009
In reply to: karmapearl
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 12:53pm

I need to print this out and keep it to remind ME not to turn into your inlaws when my sons get married and have children!

I'm so sorry they are driving you crazy-it will get better I'm sure. Not sure what you could say or how to say it so they would back off and not get their feelings hurt. I'm so blunt, I would stick my foot in my mouth if I were in your shoes. Best of luck and (((BIG HUGS)))!



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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
In reply to: karmapearl
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 4:22am
I have the same problem with my dads gf only I have the awesome luck of not being related to her in any shape or form so I don't have to put up with it at all. I agree, having things like that done several times a week is extremely annoying and frustrating! And I think the risk of suffocating is for more likely to a child who sleep on their stomach, then the risk of them choking on spit up. I don't know about you, but when Jensen is about to spit up he gets really fussy because he knows it's coming 90% of the time so I really can't see him ever sleeping through that feeling. Not to mention when he is laying down he just farts, vs when he is sitting up he mostly burps. Just keep standing by how you do things. Every parent knows their child best and has the right to decide how to raise them so long as it doesn't harm the child or others. You are doing a great job as a mom and you don't need any unwanted advice.






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