So hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
So hurt
9
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 4:42am

So my dad comes into my room tonight after Rob heads off to the gym and goes

'So I asked Kelly to move in with me, and we need you to move out' and then he laughs. This is something my mom always says, that they will kick me and Rob out if Kelly moves in. Then my dad goes 'just kidding, but what do you think?' and the rest of the conversation goes like this:

me: wait, you seriously asked her?!
dad: yes. what do you think
me: I think it's way too soon. did you talk to April (my baby sister) about this?
dad: *confused look on his face* yes and she said the same thing but I don't see why it's too soon.
me; you JUST got divorce on the 9th!
dad: yeah but we have been separated since October and we didn't sleep in the same room together for 6 months before that.
me: I don't feel comfortable with it. I think you should wait.
dad: Amanda (my older half sister, my dad's adopted daughter) knows, I already told her, she thinks I should wait too and I just don't see why it would make a difference.
me: I know you love her but I don't feel I have the kind of relationship with Kelly where I want her to move in.
dad: I have to say I am surprised, of everyone I thought you'd understand. This is no different then Rob moving in with us when I didn't know him.

Umm YEAH IT IS! Rob wasn't married, Rob didn't have kids, Rob didn't have everyone tell him they thought this was the dumbest freaking idea he had ever had, AND Rob had a baby on the way!!! He didn't leave anyone to be with me, we had been together and engaged already. So then the conversation continues with:

me; even if you guys could wait a few months I would feel better.
dad: well her roommate is moving a few towns over so this would be more convenient. she could go live with her roommate but it's a long drive to where she works then.
me: oh ok, that kind of makes sense then. so when were you guys planning on doing this.
dad: soon
me: ok what is soon this weekend?
dad: *shrugs and looks away* her stuff is already packed so yeah we were planning on it.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! FIrst I am the last to know, and second she is moving in THIS WEEKEND?! Why the #%$# did you ask me what I thought if she was already packed and ready to move in?! So I basically am trying not to cry in front of him and I am like 'I have no problem with you loving her and all that but I don't know her as well as you do and the thought of being with her makes me uncomfortable'. So he just kind of walks away. The woman is SO rude. She constantly comments on what people eat and tells dad and Rob they look fat all the time, and always tells Rob he eats more then anyone in Oregon (Rob is down to eating 2 meals a day and doesn't even eat to get full when she is around because she makes him feel so bad). Then the other night she wanted to put socks on Jensen even though he wasn't cold and actually just got up to go into MY bedroom without my permission or anything. I was furious and told her to stay there and I would get socks. I know that doesn't seem like much but there is a whole back story of her trying to take over raising Jensen. I have been trying but like if she holds Jensen she tells Jensen he likes her more then me, and he is tired of me. She calls him HER baby, and demands to hold him all the time. Then she constantly asks me and Rob where we are going or where we have been. We're ADULTS. We pay my dad to let us live here, we buy groceries, we're NOT children and we certainly don't have to report to HER. I am SO upset I gave my dad $1000 and lent him $500 right now because honestly I would be using it to get an apartment right now. I don't want to live here with them and I know now without a doubt my opinion on the matter obviously means squat because they didn't ask me before hand, they had already made plans and she was packed up before I was even told. I think I might ask my mom if we pay her rent if we can move in. It will make things tighter for us yeah, but I am so not going to do this. I am SO upset right now and I can't even hold the tears back anymore. I am so mad and I swear to God I am never speaking to Kelly again. I don't care if that's childish or it hurts my dad, because they have both hurt me so much right now.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2004
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 7:57am
What an awful situation AMY!
 
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 8:29am
I'm real sorry that you are having to go through so much right now.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 11:23am
Thanks. I don't think we will work this out since everyone has told him not to do it and he is going ahead and doing it anyway. I am just like this is the reason why I don't tell you things anymore dad, you put your gf before your kids and I have had enough.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 11:25am
Thanks. I really appreciate the well wishes. It definitely is hard.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2008
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 2:07am
I'm sorry you have to go through this right after everything else! You should be recuperating! He should've talked to you before they decided anything since you're living there and it affects you. I'd give it some time and really make some boundaries known. That way you don't have to worry about moving along w/ everything else. I'm really sorry this is happening!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Fri, 03-05-2010 - 11:34pm

Ok, i'm gonna be the one to say this and i'm probably going to get heat for it but it needs to be said.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2008
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 3:15am
Oh Amy I am so sorry that you are going through this I know it can't be easy and I understand how your feeling betrayed, espically when your dad's decision impacts you and your little family as well! I hope that your dad is able to figure that out before she moves in and if not that your mom will let you move in with her for a while. Hopefully Rob will get the job and you can get your own place soon though! I'm sending P&PT your way for both!

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Thank you Amber388 for the beautiful Siggy!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 4:07am
I actual agree with you, as much as my heart doesn't want to. I think deep down I do feel like he chose her over me and subconsciously I do want to make him choose me. I feel like he should because I am his first born, the reason he left his first wife (he wanted kids, she didn't, so they divorced). But you're right, I have my own family now and will be leaving and it isn't fair for him to be alone. I just wish they had waited before moving in with each other. That bothers me more how much he is rushing this then the fact that she is moving in period.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Sat, 03-06-2010 - 9:37am
Take it from someone who has had a wicked stepmother.