Spanking study

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
Spanking study
7
Mon, 04-12-2010 - 11:35pm

I am not sure how I feel about this matter. My dad was very violent with me as a child and it has had the opposite effect on me. I never want to spank my child and I don't hit people or behave violently. What do you think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2009
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 3:07pm

My philosophy, as with most things, is everything in moderation.


Im not a big spanker, but sometimes it is the quickest swiftest resolution. I remember when my dd darted out into a street when she was little and a swift swat on her butt got her attention quickly. My two older kids have had a swat on the butt a handfull of times and if that is going to scar them for life or cause them to be violent, we have much bigger issues! LOL


I dont think being violent or agressive with your kids is ever a positive thing and do not believe in that. A swift stinger to the tush or hand headed for danger is completely different from

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2009
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 4:12pm

I am with you on this. I, too, have older ones and have "spanked" them a handful of times and none of them are violent at all, they are probably just the opposite. I saved spanking for things that were very serious that could be life threatening for them. If you spank them all the time or for trivial things then it doesn't work because it won't get their attention.

One time that sticks out in my mind is when DD became houdini and kept getting out of her car seat while I was driving down the road. I tried everything to keep her in it but nothing worked. After almost getting rear ended one day and realizing she was out of her car seat once again and could have been killed, I pulled the car over and swatted her behind hard. She never tried to get out of it again. There are just some situations, imho where talking just doesn't work. A 2 year old will never understand the dangers of riding in a car not belted in.

I believe spanking can be beneficial in certain situations but in most situations, a time out or a stern look is all that is needed. This way when you do have to resort to spanking, they will know that it must be serious and they shouldn't do it again because you mean business!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2009
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 6:50pm
I very rarely spanked my older son, and even now I will swat Lucas when it is called for. being raised in a violent atmosphere, I will not swat them more than 3 swats in a row, and if
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2009
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 10:04am
This is one of those things where common sense is needed and unfortunately, it isn't very COMMON anymore.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 10:36am
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2008
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Fri, 04-16-2010 - 3:35pm
I was spanked a hand full of times as a child, yes i remember every one of them because they were harder than a swat but i wasnt beaten.
Like others have said everything is good in moderation and you have to use common sense. I believe that parents today are not strict enough with their children whether they spank or not, but i do believe that spanking helps children learn early on that you as a parent mean business and demand respect from them. There are alot of kids out there that need a good wippen' and stern talkin' to- to let them know they arent as big as they think they are :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2009
In reply to: amsrjw0810
Sat, 04-17-2010 - 7:30pm
Aubrie rarely gets a swat anymore. It seems to just make her more angry and intensify the negative behavior. I have found that taking things away from her (favorite toys, tv ect.) works better. One of the last times I swatted her tush she turned around got all calm and quiet and said "MOM, we DONT hit." rofl. Its pointless with her. I too was a victim of child abuse and thought I would NEVER spank. I have learned that there is a difference between disciplining with love and Abuse. I cried the first time I swatted Aubrie's tush and it didnt even phase her lol.




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