wanting more

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2008
wanting more
6
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:36am
Just wanted to vent about how I get questions about having more children. I am surprised when I say that my DH and I are planning on having at least 2 more. They must think that since I had my girls 15 1/2 years (to the day!!!) apart that we are done having more. Then they always ask "oh are you going to try for a boy?" well it drives me nuts. No we have no plans on "trying" for a boy, I actually tease my DH about having all girls and if this happens he will so get a "man room" to escape to when they are all teenagers...lol...My DH is wonderful about it, would he like a boy, sure but he would be so happy with all girls too. I actually remember looking at his reaction when the u/s tech said girl to see if he was disappointed at all and he glowed absolutely glowed hearing that he was having a girl (even though he so knows what he is in for when she hits her teenage years with my ODD).
I guess it bothers me that because I had my girls so far apart that many are flabergasted that I wanted to "start over again". Goodness I had my ODD at 17 and of course I wanted more but only after I was in a place that I could take care of the one I had....sorry it took 15 + years to get there. Uggghhh It really surprises me that some people just feel the urge to question my choice to expand our family.
Okay sorry for my rambling rant but just needed to vent that!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 11:44am
I hear ya, My oldest son and 4 year old are 18 years apart, and my WW and oldest are 22 years apart. You should hear the comments I get. Oh yeah my grandson is a year old as well. (11 months older than my WW) Do not let them get to you, they do not live your life. I feel so very blessed to have my boys, and I do not care who likes it or doesnt. My Aunt had major issues with it, she would make ugly comments to me all of the time when I was pregnant. She made comments to others as well about how I have a grandson etc. Its not her life, and I told her so and told her if she could not be supportive, then I did not want to see her. Good luck, I know what you are going through, and all I can say is be thankful feel blessed and dont let the loose lips of others deter you.


 
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2009
Wed, 04-28-2010 - 6:17pm
People are so ridiculous when things don't fit into their picture of the "American Dream". It's your body, your life. You're supporting your family, not them, so they need to stop asking such personal questions, and if they do have the common courtesy not to say anything rude to your responses. You're not "starting over" like you're replacing your oldest daughter or something. You're simply changing the family tree.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2008
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 5:39pm
I hear you! My oldest is 18 (he is in the Army and stationed at Bragg), my DD#1 is 4, our late son, Bregan, would be 17 months and Thalia 3 months. We want two more at least - granted my time is getting slim and we will have to TTC around deployments next year. We just don't feel like our family is complete! We would actually be overjoyed to have two more girls! But we will be pleased with which sex we are given. I just hope it happens within the next 4 or 5 years.
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http://rememberingbregan.blogspot.com/ Dianne Wife to Super, Awesome, No Limits US Army Officer - Matthew. Mummy to: DS - Dakota John - 18 yo., DD - Aidan Isabella - 4 yo., DS - Angel - Bregan Michael - 3 1/2 days old 11/23-11/27/2008, DD- Thalia Evan 1/24/10, 2 x Miscarriage Survivor 2003 & 2004.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Fri, 04-30-2010 - 9:22pm
Oy, some people just have no tact! I know it's definitely easier said than done but just let their comments roll off your back- like
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2006
Sat, 05-01-2010 - 12:20pm
It is amazing how so many people feel that they have a say in YOUR life. I get the complete opposite from people especially a few in my family. I got my tubes tied and have no regrets. I am super happy that we are done and our family is complete. People keep nagging that I should have more and don't I want more...blah, blah, blah. I also got the didn't I want a girl while I was pregnant with Norah because I already had 2 boys. I also get the "how did you manage to have the girl, did you do something special?" No! I just got pregnant, wow, magic, lol. I could have cared less if I had another boy or a girl. Actually back then, I was terrified of having a girl and wanted another boy. Now that she's here of course, it's no big deal and she's just as wonderful as the boys. Anyway, I hate when people butt in. I think it's great that you are doing what you want and that you waited to have more until you were ready. Maybe one day people will bug off and learn to mind their own business, but until then, just know you are doing what YOU want and that's all that matters! :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2008
Sat, 05-01-2010 - 12:37pm

Thanks everyone.
It really floors me that people feel the urge to question our decisions. My mom even was surprised that we wanted a few more. She thought we would try for a boy and be done, but she did save herself by saying that it really didnt matter cause she would love more grand kids from us. Now I am just saying that if we have more we have more.

Thanks ladies for your support and a ear to vent in. :)

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Thank you cl-annelee55 for my wonderful siggy



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siggy spring Thank you beccamarie82 for the awes