it has been a while

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
it has been a while
10
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 11:00pm

I have been so busy with work and home and additional training to get a new certification, I have not been on.

However, I had a lousy day today. Think my boss was unhappy with me but I have no idea why. I then realized that DH is my only best friend locally. When he works late, there is no one who I can lean on that is in the area. Phone calls are all I can manage :(. All my BFFs besides him are long distance these days.

Siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 12:58am
(((HUGS))) Kristy. I'm sorry you had a lousy day. I wouldn't worry about your boss being unhappy for one day.... maybe s/he was having a bad day too? Have you thought about finding a Mother's group or a playgroup in your area to meet new friends? I just recently started hanging out a little with some friends from high school so I understand not having someone to lean on and needing them.
On the upside, I'm glad to see you are back here with us! Hopefully your week relaxes. :)

Tessa
Single Mom of 6 beautiful children and 3 angels........
CL to Single Moms, January 2010 Winter Wonders, and 2010 Playgroup Friends
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
Sat, 04-30-2011 - 10:01pm
Thanks. I have tried mothers' groups but the one I have found in my area always do things on Monday, Wed, and Sat - when I am working. Also, I don't get close to people easily or quickly so though my neighbor has a babby and we do stuff together
Siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
Sat, 04-30-2011 - 10:04pm
but I just dont have that feeling of being able to lean on her. She has her own friends having grown up in the area.....that really is my problem. I feel as a transplant I am left out nad I know a lot of it is my own fault. Oh well. Just as an example. This weekend we are doing my "birthday day" though my birthday is past (DH and I both worked on it even though it was a Saturday). My options of people to spend time with are his mother or his high school friends. I love them all but still.... *shrug* That just seems to be the way it is.
Siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
Sun, 05-01-2011 - 8:52pm
I know you have said that you guys aren't very religious (I'm not either really), but what about trying to meet some ladies/mothers at church? Or maybe you can get to be friends with one of his friends' wives? Getting close to people takes time for anyway... I wouldn't expect to be fast friends with most people (unless you meet people like me, who are easy to be friends with :) lol). Happy belated birthday! I hope you have fun on your birthday day! How long have you been in the area you're in?

Tessa
Single Mom of 6 beautiful children and 3 angels........
CL to Single Moms, January 2010 Winter Wonders, and 2010 Playgroup Friends
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
Sun, 05-01-2011 - 11:00pm
His friends that I am talking about are 1.5 hours away and work very different hours than me. Really we only see them about every 3-6 months. One of them is one of the wives I would consider a long distance friend (she actually came on a work trip with me to watch DS and we got to know each other much better which was nice). I get along great with his friends, but again not close like my friends. We have been here 6 years. I have gone to church but haven't really gotten any close attachments. I guess I am just difficult.
Siggie
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2003
Mon, 05-02-2011 - 4:55pm

Hi Kristy, I'm glad you've come back to the message boards. I know it takes time to get friendships started and it's so important to have them... plus to be there for friends when they need you. I hope you'll drop in regularly - the ladies here are awesome for support no matter what you may be going through. I can totally vouch for Tessa in that way :) And you'll be surprised as you get to know people here, that there's always someone who could use a listenening ear about something similar to what you may have gone through.

On a personal note, that's how I got into the message boards almost 10 years ago. Anyway, before I digress! I just wanted to say welcome and I hope to see you around lots :)

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 9:49pm

Thanks!

Good to be here.

I actually posted on a couple of the other pertinent boards. They were not nearly as responsive as everyone here. I have been on here since shortly after DS was born though I go through periods of being away and I have always appreciated the input (even if people see that I shoot down things I have tried and have not worked ... it is a negative to my personality so I hope no one takes it personally).

Siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2007
Fri, 05-06-2011 - 9:55pm
You know, Kristy, I find myself shooting down other people's ideas a lot too so I can relate! I don't really mean to do it, but it happens. ;)

Just remember--- we were all first time moms once too! I'm always glad to try to help. And like I tell my patients, not every tip/technique is going to work for everybody, so the more advice you pick up, the more chances you have of finding what works for you. :)

I wish I could find a workable answer for you for the friend situation. The only reason I have a few friends around me now is because I moved back to where I grew up and graduated high school. Before that, I would have a few friends here and there that I would talk to but never on an everyday basis.... that's where I reached out online to others. I found that, even though it isn't face to face contact and the others can't go on a playdate with me, talking online (for me) satisfies that need for personal connection/communication that I needed. I have my children (and HAD my ex-husbands) for that human touch connection that we need. I learned to be very self-independent and have learned to rely soley on myself, because I don't give myself any added drama that I'm not already experiencing! LOL I'll keep thinking of ideas for you to meet people.......

Tessa
Single Mom of 6 beautiful children and 3 angels........
CL to Single Moms, January 2010 Winter Wonders, and 2010 Playgroup Friends
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
Sat, 05-07-2011 - 10:10pm
Thanks Tessa. Funny thing. I met another mom at the car dealership while waiting for my oil change the other day. She is a SAHM and sounds like she could use some contact. Hopefully I will see more of her and maybe we will get closer :)
Siggie
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2008
Sun, 05-08-2011 - 10:23pm
I definitely have found listening to people on here and reading a ridiculous number of books and articles have helped me with a lot of things that might have been hard to figure out on my own. My mom is great but doesn't seem to have a lot of insight on the more difficult things we have dealt with (ie sleep schedules, our home schedules, and more recently temper tantrums just starting). I suppose there are some out there who wish their moms or MILs would have less insight LOL! but mine are both pretty laid back so when they offer advice it is with only a helpful attitude. No problem if we choose to do something else :)

Funny thing is I have always thought of myself as a fairly independent person but have now been with DH so long I don't know that I can fully claim that. Though at least I can handle the house when he is out of town (this happened twice in 1 month for about a week each time and we have numerous pets too including a dog who has o be tube fed) . When I was gone his mom came to stay and help. I was gone Friday afternoon to Sunday afternoon :). (In his defense, he was working the weekend so she needed to be there while he was at work but he also had her help at night since she stayed).

Anyway, I am just rambling now and should really just get some sleep. Good night! :)
Siggie