Needy at bedtime

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Needy at bedtime
Sat, 01-28-2012 - 11:59am

Well, we've been going down in our crib (rahter than the pack and play in our room) for over a month. We were doing pretty good, staying in our crib until 2-3AM. Then fussiness would set in and I would take her to our bed for the two hours left. Mommy gets up at 5AM for work. The past couple of weeks she's been going down for about a 1/2 hour then she screams and cries and even shakes her whole body. The moment I pick her up she calms down. She sleeps like a baby (no pun) in our bed of course.

Should I feel "guilty" about this?

Am I spoiling her?

Am I creating a dependent child?

Soon I will have to go out of town for 2 full weeks for training for a new promotion. After that, I will be able to work from home for the next 2-5 years! (how great is that???) My plan to is to get past this transition and then allow her to "cry it out" when she's used to seeing me all day everyday.

Thoughts out there????

So far and my hubby and I are fine with her sleeping with us, but we don't want a 3 year old in our bed. Tips, experiences, thoughts, advice,,,,,fire away!!!

Mommy to Revi Skye (almost 6 mos)

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-1999
Tue, 01-31-2012 - 5:24am
congrats on being able to work from how for a while, that'll be great! I would definitely wait until you have been home and established the new routine, before trying any sleep training. I don't know...I kind of think since you are both fine with her sleeping with you, why rush out of it.Get her in her own bed when you are all a week or in a year....whatever you feel is right. I think you'll know. With some of my other children, I tried getting them to sleep certain places/times as babies. It didn't work, after so long I gave up and went back to what did work. Eventually we (baby and us) were all ready enough to make the change. It was much much easier. oh and about are you spoiling her/making her dependent, etc??? All I can say, as much as I slept with my babies, cuddled, etc....they are all now in grade school....sleep fine alone, and not attached or major dependent on me at all :) I'm enjoying the baby cuddle/sleep time....because soon I know it'll all be a distant memory:)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Fri, 02-03-2012 - 4:56pm

Thanks for the reassurance. I like your idea!!!! We'll all know when it's time. Cuddling now! : )

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Sat, 02-04-2012 - 12:51am
There are actually a great many beneficial reasons TO COSLEEP. It's common practice in almost every other part of the world. It's only in the United States that we're obsessed with making small babies sleep in their own beds in their own rooms.

Now if your baby happens to be happy with the own crib own room arrangement and you're also happy with it, then it's great!!!! But no mama should ever feel guilty about cosleeping if that's what she prefers. I'm on my 3rd baby. Thought I'd put baby in the crib fairly quickly (and w/ baby #1 I did for a few weeks). Then I realized that's now how I wanted it to be. I was sleeping better (and so was she) when she was in our room.

Baby #2 and #3 I've never even tried to put them in the crib upstairs.

And ... don't worry. They do learn to sleep in their own rooms. My other 2 girls are very happily asleep upstairs now. #1 went to her own room around 2. #2 went upstairs closer to 4 but due to some medical issues, she didn't even sleep through the night until she was 3 ... so I never tried to move her upstairs sooner. I needed her nearby because of having to be up with her so often.

And they're both smart, independent, happy kids ... and one is more needy of my time than the other. But it's the one that spent the LEAST amount of time in my room / bed.

Enjoy your baby!