What are some of your worries/fears?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2010
What are some of your worries/fears?
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 1:27am

About having/raising another child? We all have them, whether they're big or small we all worry about or fear something when it comes to bringing another child into the world and experiencing a big life change. I thought maybe if we could all talk about them it might ease our minds a bit. We're all pretty much going through the same situation so why not find comfort in one another?

Some of my fears/worries are.....

- Will I be able to manage my time with two little ones so neither feels left out?
- How will I do the simple everyday tasks like bath time now that I have two kids and not just one?
- Will I feel that immediate connection to DD2 that I felt with DD1?
- Will I EVER get even a minute to myself again?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 8:45am
How will I manage giving all the love and attention a new born needs (BFing too) while not having DD (will only be 20 mo) feel left out?

Am I crazy enough to think I can take care of two kids under two and still manage my business online/

Will the birth of my second child feel less exciting and eventful than my first?

Am I less excited about his birth because I really wanted a girl? Will I love him just as much?

Can I really have a successful VBAC and do it un-medicated?

Can I raise two awesome babies or does my second need to be a hellion because my first was so good?

I know I'm scared. I keep up a strong exterior to my family and friends, but it's good to have you guys to lean on. This made me tear up, but then James started kicking me, so maybe he's telling me it's going to be ok.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 10:40am

I'm worried I won't have time for DS like I do now or that he'll feel left out or unloved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2004
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 11:33am
How am I going to get 2 kids to/from my car? I live in an apt complex and have to walk across a sidewalk and a down flight of stairs to get to my apt. I don't really feel comfortable taking them one at a time...

Will I ever get any sleep? Like a pp, I used to be able to nap when DS1 napped.

How will we make do with only 1 bedroom for the boys to share? I'm terrified of having them room together! DS1 is such a good sleeper, but it was a struggle getting him there. I don't want to disrupt his sleep while training this LO.

How the heck are we going to afford two!?

Is my DS1 going to hate me for needing to nurse the baby all the time?

How am I going to feel in the hospital when my mom comes to meet the baby and my dad isn't there with her? (He died when I was 7.5wks pregnant and I never got to tell him.)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2008
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 12:10pm

i am nervous that DS1 will not feel as loved..and that our relationship will change as in not being as close as what we are now. He is such a Momma's boy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Sun, 05-15-2011 - 8:52pm
I'm worried about how we're going to handle the huge life changes that come with a baby.

I'm worried that our dogs, which are very well trained, will get ignored for a little while and start to misbehave. I'm wondering how I'm going to incorporate continuing to give them some exercise and have a newborn.

I'm worried about how I'm going to balance continuing to work and having a newborn and if that will make me feel like a bad person. (Even though, I really believe I will be happier working than I would staying at home).

I'm worried about breastfeeding and hoping that our LO takes to it well.

I'm worried about being sleep deprived and how DH and I will handle it. We can both get mean/short fused when we don't have enough sleep and a new baby doesn't usually allow that.

I haven't gained a ton of weight this pregnancy so far but I'm worried about losing the pregnancy weight, plus the extra weight I was carrying around before the pregnancy (I probably had 30lbs pre-preg to lose...) and how I'll balance that with sleep, taking care of baby and everything else.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-1999
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 4:07am
I honestly don't really have any ...which is kind of nice! Being my 5th, I've kind of gotten the hang of how things will go and turn out. (as long as this baby isn't a really really fussy baby!) With all the worries, somehow everything works out one way or another. Some days you want to pull your hair out, other days are good. The one thing I never get over is the nervousness of how the labor/birth will turn out. It's not the worst thing in the world...but still. I'm just really excited! :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2010
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 2:02pm

This will be number five for me and I have to say that I don't have any worries really. Only just that right now I only have 1 ds who is like my shadow and I worry that he's not going to feel loved. That's just a thought that comes in and out but I have always made the others feel like such a part of the whole thing that I hope that works this time around again.

The pain of labor and delivery is another thing that has been on my mind. I hope dh manages to get to the hospital in time if it happens while he's a work other then that I am good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-1999
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 5:29pm
That pretty much sums it up for me. I hope hubby gets there in time if he is at work!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2010
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 1:24pm
my biggest worry/fear right now is about labor & delivery. i really want a natural birth and am worried that because of PIH i'll have to be induced early, which i really really really don't want.

i also worry about affording a baby. and i wonder if i'm being selfish for wanting to stay home with her. dh and i both just finished grad school and both have loans to pay back. how will we do that with only one income? dh has an awesome part time job opportunity that comes with housing (yay!)... but not health insurance (boo!)... how are we going to afford/get insurance? our current insurance (through school) runs out august 15th and i'm due august 20th (so i'm kind of praying this baby wants to get here just a little early!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2010
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 4:04pm
This is only number 2 for me and while I definitely have worries similar to others (not having me time, balancing time with dd1 and dd2, caring for 3 dogs and two babies without killing the dogs when they bark etc), but I'm not worrying about it other than fleeting thoughts. That's because I just want this little monster out of me lol I'm so tired of being nauseous and not having energy. I know that will be a while after baby comes before I'll feel normal again but goodness knows it'll be nice not to throw up every morning again.

Right now, the only thing I really AM worried about is that my baby is healthy. She had a cyst on her brain and water on her kidney at the first u/s which raises my risk of downsyndrome slightly (the dr said to 1 in 500 so it's still ridiculously low). Normally, the cyst goes away on its own and the kidney thing could just mean she hadn't peed in a while. But, I can't help worrying about it now and again...
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