VBAC fail depression

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
VBAC fail depression
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 8:24pm
I've spent my entire pregnancy doing all i could to have a VBAC, frkm midwives, to hypnkbirthing, to EPO. Im 41 weeks and 2 days today. My c-section is scheduled for Monday and at my last exam kn Thursday I was 1 cm and -4 station. I just know spontaneous labor isnt going to happen at this point. I'm going to be stuck with surgery and I feel like a failure. I am depressed to journey through pregnancy this far and never get to experience the miracle of labor and birth. Again. I know I'm a good mom for doing what is best for my child and i know there is nothing I can do because it is beyond what i can control. But I can't help feeling like less of a woman as my body robs me of one of the greatest experiences.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-1999
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 9:47pm
I've never had a csection but I can only imagine how you feel. It's terribly difficult to picture in our minds how things will go, and then when it doesn't turn out that way.... I'm sure you've been trying all kinds of stuff to get labor going. Are you having any contractions or braxton hicks? Have you tried accupressure or anything like that? Don't give up yet :) Eitherway, thinking of you and a healthy birth!!!

luvmy4kids Made with My Cool Signs.Net


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Sat, 08-20-2011 - 9:55pm
ITA w/ pp ... look into accupressure / accupuncture ... and hook yourself up to a breastpump ... and get busy doing some very brisk walking / light jogging. Also, suggest a biophysical profile of baby. I fail to see why your pregnancy can't continue to spontaneous labor if your baby is doing just fine inside. I do understand why a pitocin induction is ill advised. But I have a lot of friends (in other states - VBACS are forbidden completely in our state by the physician liability insurance company) that did at home VBACS and I know a few of them went to nearly 42 weeks.

Just a suggestion ... ask about delaying the c-section.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2008
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 12:11am
I don't know about the breast pump thing...that can cause the same super strong contractions as pitocin, which isn't safe during a VBAC. I thought about doing it too but I don't think it's safe if the whole point of not inducing is to avoid the strong contractions. Pitocin is a synthetic version of the same hormone released from nipple stimulation.

I planned on a VBAC too, and ended up with a c-section. I understand how you feel. The only thing I can suggest, and this is what I did, is that if you DO end up with the section, just decide that it's not going to ruin your experience. Yes, I would've rather had a vaginal birth. I will never experience that, and when I think about it, it's sad. But I had so much resentment about the way my first one happened that every time I would think about the birth of my son, I'd get mad. I didn't want that with this one. I did everything I could within reason to have a VBAC but when it became plain that it was unlikely, at least I had some control over how the c-section happened...and I had a better doctor, etc., which helped, but the main thing is to just accept that this is how the baby is coming into the world and remember that it really doesn't matter! Is it better to kick and scream the whole way into the OR and have anger about it for the rest of your life, or accept it and be positive and be able to remember the happy moments rather than how mad you felt about having the surgery? My husband and I tried to conceive this baby for over a year. We had an appointment to discuss IUF with the doctor and got my BFP the day before the appointment, so I decided to just focus on the big blessing this pregnancy was to begin with and not sweat how he would be delivered.

I hope that doesn't sound preachy because that's not what I'm trying to do...I just think that IF you can't have the VBAC and you have to have the c-section, that's out of your control and you may as well not build it up to be more significant than it really is.

Good luck. I hope you go into labor in the next day or so and have the birth experience you want!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 12:49am
Thanks guys. I have tried the breast pump and accupressure as well as exercise and walking. Heck, last weekend we moved all our stuff into a new houss, stairs and all. We did do an NST last week to push the section out to Monday which is 41 & 4. Only time will tell. I don't want my own selfishness to affect my LO's health either.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2007
Sun, 08-21-2011 - 2:41pm
(((HUGS))) Don't feel like less of a woman for something that is totally out of your control... focus on baby just let go of all the things that you can't control. I'll be sending you some serious labor vibes today while you wait :)
~Andrea~ IMG_1563
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2009
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 12:54am


Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 6:51am
Wow, Katie. How coincidential that we're having our sections on the same day at almost the same time. I am just working hard today to be as in control of my birth as possible. I also have a 19 month old. It was sad to tuck her into bed last night. I can't wait to see her later this afternoon when her grandparents bring her to visit. We will just have to focus on the positive. I keep reminding myself how awesome it will be to hold him, and to introduce my first baby to my second. Best of luck! Do you use Facebook? I'm thatmoxiegirl@gmail.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 9:26am

huge ((hugs)) to you. As a mom who strived for a VBAC with my last DD, I know how hard it is and heartbreaking it is to think you may not have it. Can I ask, What was the circumstances surrounding your last CS?

-Bess--- mom to Eve and Ariel
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2009
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 11:54am

as someone who has had four vaginal births, three of them with epidural pain relief, I had to have a c/s with my twins.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-27-2010
Tue, 08-23-2011 - 6:00pm

Less of a woman are you kidding me Mrs.. no way and no how. I have had 4 natural and then Marcus now was via c-section and boy I think that makes me more woman. YOU ARE EVERY MORE A WOMAN THAN those who have birthed natural. You feel pain after and what more can you say then having your body being opened to birth the most beautiful thing created. I don't want to hear no more about that missy. You, myself and everyone else heals the same way and fyi after experiencing a c-section we take more to fully recover so that's enough of that. :o)