CIO - who has done it and what happened with your child?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2011
CIO - who has done it and what happened with your child?
8
Thu, 08-11-2011 - 11:53am

I am currently going through the CIO method - It has been just under a week but I can't seem to stand hearing my baby cry for long periods of time as it makes me feel like I am doing a bad job at being a mother and wanting to teach him to be more independent and not look to me to get him

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2011
Try out Kim West's no cry sleep solution. Its much gentler and helped me with both my kids. Google kim west- the sleep lady. You should be able to find it. The local library may have her book for you. Good luck! CIO sucks and made me want to vomit from the knots in my stomach.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-1999
I didn't read any books but I did what I call modified CIO. I put her down, patted her back, made that ridiculous shushing sound and left. If she cried, I'd let her cry for a few minutes and then come back in to pat & shush her-as many times as needed. After a couple days, I let her cry longer and patted/shushed for a shorter time. Then, I would just put her down with a quick pat and, if she cried, I'd only come back to shush. Finally, I just shushed from the door. After about 2 weeks, she put her herself to sleep when I put her in bed. She had toys to play with and a lights & music toy to keep her entertained. I can’t lie, those first few days were hard and I sat on the stairs and cried along with her.

She didn’t become any needier during the day and has always been great about putting herself to bed. I think it’s important to start a consistent bedtime routine at the same time that you’re trying to get them to sleep on their own. That way, they know what to expect every night.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2002
yep, did CIO with my oldest stepson (who is now 13). It was horrible, he'd not give up and sometimes he'd make himself throw up :( It definitely caused some sleep issues with him... for A LONG time he needed someone in the bed with him until he fell asleep and would stress & worry at bedtime. I followed Elizabeth Pantley's No Cry Sleep Solution book with my 7yo and his bedtime routine went so much better, he's a good sleeper now, no issues at all (he puts himself to bed!).
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2002
Oh and response to this...

If you moms out there have any solutions to how to make your baby sleep through the night without having mom rock, pat or nurse or bottle feed - please do share!

I'm not sure there is anything that will work well without a little comforting. I know that all good sleep routines will probably include some rocking, patting, nursing/feeding but the key will be to put the baby down while they are still awake.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2007
I used a modified CIO with our DS. It worked pretty well, but did NOT make him STTN, but did help him be able to get himself back to sleep without my intervention if/when he woke at night. He didn't start STTN until a few months ago (he's now 22 months). However, it did greatly help. Here's basically what we did:
1) come up with a bedtime routine and stick to it EVERY SINGLE NIGHT
2) put him down awake (also, do not feed him in his room as he can associate food with sleep even if not falling asleep while eating/drinking)
3) leave the room
4) if he cries, wait "x" amount of time before going back in
a) you can pick any starting amount that you want...I think I did 1-2 minutes at first
5) go back in and comfort him, but DO NOT pick him up: rub his back, "shush" anything but pick him up (although if he is hysterical, I would pick him up) and only stay in there for 1-2 minutes max
6) leave the room again
7) if he cries again, go back in after "y" minutes
a) I think we went with 5 minutes for the second time
8) comfort him again as above and then leave
9) if he still cries, go back in after "z" minutes and do the comforting thing again and then leave
a) I think we did 7 minutes at this point
10) For each time you have to go back in after the third time, use the same amount of time...so for the first night, the max time between going to comfort would be something like 7 minutes
11) do this for several nights, and then increase the amount of time between comfortings by a little...do that for a few nights and then increase again, etc.

He *should* eventually get himself to sleep. That is the most important part of CIO: teaching them to get themselves to sleep and breaking any sleep associations they may have developed (bottle, rocking, being held, etc.). Just know that CIO does not work for every child, but it does generally work.

My DS didn't become clingy during the day when we did CIO. And yes, it killed me to let him cry, even for a minute or two, but I was so exhausted from getting up 4, 5, 6 or more times a night with him that I had to do something. We actually got our instructions from a child sleep psychologist because I was desperate for some sleep for myself! I can imagine if you are leaving him to cry for LONG periods of time, that he may become more needy/clingy during the day. But if you go to him periodically during the CIO, then he should be reassured that you are still there for him, and not be as clingy during the day. Also, remember that it may be something else that is causing him to be clingy, like teething.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2009

I used a similar method to PP (Gina). I think the age that you start is the key to getting a good sleeper. Which is a good topic since we are all expecting :) We had both of our girls sleep on their own, in their own beds, starting from birth. Both were in cradles in our room for the first 2-3 months for nursing, then they went to their own rooms and beds. We picked them up to nurse, then returned to their own cradles after nursing every time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2007
We did a modified CIO when DD was about 8-9 months old. We co-slept up until then. It was a rough couple weeks, but she then comforted herself. Since doing that. She has been a GREAT sleeper!! no issues at all unless she was going through a growth spurt or was sick! I will be doing it again with this one for sure.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Hi there,

I wanted to share a link with you to the Sleep Training board here on iVillage. If you are looking for some more tips and support as you find the best option for your situation, the board is a great place to visit. I'm sure the ladies there would love to hear from you and they may have some great feedback to share with you.

Sleep Training- http://forums.ivillage.com/ivillage/?category.id=iv-pppsleep

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