Mommy Guilt?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mommy Guilt?
7
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 9:18am

Several people on FB have shared this post, and even as a brand new mom it resonated with me. Have you guys seen it?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

I had no idea the mommy guilt would be such a reality for me. I'm typically a pretty pragmatic person but mommy guilt I have is far more intense than I would have ever anticipated. I feel guilty about sending Nathan to a sitter, about having to supplement with formula b/c pumping 3x a day at work was getting to be too much, about spending an afternoon with friends this coming Sat b/c it's one of my full-time days with him (my DH literally had to force me to accept their invitation); I feel guilty at work b/c I'm thinking of Nathan (or posting on a baby message board :smileyhappy:); I feel guilty at home b/c my DH has had only a handful of decent meals since I went back to work (luckily he doesn't mind and never complains). The crazy thing is that no one else is making feel guilty - I've received nothing less than full support and encouragement from all of my friends and family about how I'm doing as a new mom and a working mom at that - I'm managing to heap it on myself. I don't feel depressed or unhappy, just guilty. Am I going crazy? Anyone else - working and SAHM moms - experiencing this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2010
In reply to: r38016
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 9:26am
I have crazy guilt about going back to work I cried last night over it. It makes me feel bad when I need a break from her now. I feel like I should hold and snuggle her all the time. I feel bad I am not pumping enough for her and she will probably need formula. I feel bad that she screamed when we tried to the first time.

Dixie

"Even miracles take a little time." ~ Fairy Godmother: Cinderella

TTC since April 2009

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-1999
In reply to: r38016
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 11:35am

I can say it gets better but it's the one side effect of motherhood that never goes away. You do get used to it and as your baby grows you'll come to enjoy the time away with less guilt. Especially on mornings when you have to work and your kid is being a total PITA. Or when you haven't had any me time in months and your friends give you wine and make you laugh. A happy mommy is a better mommy. (((hugs)))

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Community Leader
Registered: 05-04-2011
In reply to: r38016
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 11:40am

Oh, yeah.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010
In reply to: r38016
Wed, 02-01-2012 - 9:54pm
Totally. I'm a stay at home mom and leaving without Isaac is a nightmare bc I feel I can't ask hubby to feed/watch him because he has a job! He shouldn't come home and watch the baby or help around the house, he should relax! Oh wait, I need breaks too sometimes... lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: r38016
Thu, 02-02-2012 - 9:43am
littlebaker5 wrote:

Oh, yeah.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
In reply to: r38016
Wed, 02-08-2012 - 11:32am
Thanks for sharing this. I'm in the same boat. I feel guilty for taking the extra time off to get fully healthy and spend some time with all 3 kids when I am the only one who works and therefore I'm not providing like I should be. I feel guilty when I'm at work because I can't be there for the kids. I'm almost done with my masters and I know that having my education will not only help us financially, but also open up doors for my career. At the same time though it is taking time away from the kids when I have to work on homework assignments. I feel horrible when I have to discipline the kids especially when I've been gone all day, but if I don't discipline and teach them right from wrong then I am doing them a disservice. A mom just can't win.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2004
In reply to: r38016
Thu, 02-09-2012 - 2:44am

I feel guilty about everything as well. Its just the mom in us... we can't help it.

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