Scared and alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2005
Scared and alone
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 5:14pm

My husband decided to leave us Friday.



iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2011
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 6:59pm

Kim, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. :( It's never fair to blame one person in the marriage for all of your problems. It sounds like he's got some deeper issues he's working through and not talking to you about them certainly isn't helping. Do you have family or friends nearby that can help you out while you're supposed to be on best rest? I know it doesn't solve anything but it would at least give you a chance to maybe

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2009
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 8:34pm

(((Hugs))) Kim!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-1999
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 8:44pm

I'd say he needs to get those meds checked pretty fast. I'm sure that isn't helping whatever underlying issues your marriage is already having. I'm not going to judge you or him for what you've posted. However, it sounds like you need some new friends and godparents. If they are not reaching out to you to help you or, at minimum get both sides, they are NOT interested in helping your situation and should be avoided. I would just tell people that unless they're offering help, you don't need them to call/text because you don't need to know what's being said.

I would suggest that from here on out, you only tell the children that Daddy needs some time to think about his choices. They don't need to know about police, hospitals or even where he is if he's not telling them himself.

I wonder if you'd qualify for any assistance or if you'd have to wait to be declared legally separated. If your Dr has ordered you to stay off your feet, then you can't really work.

If things settle down and you are interested in saving your marriage but not interested in traditional marriage counseling, I highly recommend Retrovaille through the Catholic church. You do not have to be Catholic and they won't turn you away if you can't pay.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2011
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 10:09pm
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this on top of your pg issues. :( It sounds like he is really, really sick right now. Can you talk to his parents/family? Maybe someone else can persuade him to get help.

I know it is a difficult time, but try to take care of yourself as best you can and ask friends/family for help if you need it. You do not need this situation further exacerbating your health!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2010
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 10:38pm
I am SO sorry to hear about all of this. All I can say is that I will be saying prayers for you and your family that everything will work out for the best.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2005
Sun, 10-09-2011 - 11:02pm

((((( Hugs )))))) Kim, I am sooo sorry to hear this,

Avatar for strawberrywild
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 2:20pm

Kim, I am so sorry you are going through this right now.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2002
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 2:43pm
I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this. As I was reading, I was thinking that it sounded like he is bi-polar and then you wrote that he is. I went through the same sort of things with my ex-husband. He left us right after my son turned one but leading up to that point, he was accusatory without reason, also unemployed, defensive and hurtful in his words.
You noted that he is on medication, so I'd assume he has a regular doctor he sees? Are you able to contact the doctor's office and speak to someone there about this upswing? Given that he's also threatening suicide, they will want to know about this too.
One thing I've learned about being in a bi-polar relationship: Don't allow him to bring you down. He's accusing you, telling you that "you know what you did", but it's all very vague, right? Keep your head up and don't resort to bickering.

Good luck and keep us updated, okay? I'm hoping you can find some assistance and support in your family/church as well.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2011
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 4:37pm
Kim: sorry you're dealing with all this. I agree with Julie that classic bipolar's don't take ownership for their actions. They are always the victim. Please keep yourself and your children safe. At this point in time, I'd leave hubby alone. He needs to get his act together.
Community Leader
Registered: 05-04-2011
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 8:04pm

Kim, I am so, so sorry for what's happening right now.