Help and support needed that is all I can say

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Help and support needed that is all I can say
Wed, 12-15-2010 - 11:47am

Hey ladies,

Avatar for eilatan00
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-15-2010 - 12:14pm

Totally normal. You get large rushes of cortisol (stress hormone) during late pregnancy. Supposedly the biological reason for this is to keep you alert of danger to help prepare you to protect your helpless babe (or something like that.) It can also make you somewhat of a basket case :) Now with my third, I'm certainly a little more aware of these rushes of "insensible" feelings of anxiety. I'll have strange random anxiety about things like someone coming through the window and abducting my older children or something horrible happening to my husband. It is a little easier to take a deep breath and calm myself down when I've been through this before and I know it is just crazy hormones.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2007
Wed, 12-15-2010 - 1:07pm

Absolutely normal. to: Timothy (17), Regan (12), Laurel (9), Ziggy (4), Vaughan (2)
  Breastfeeding mama for a combined 11+ years (and counting).
  Former foster mom to 18 awesome kids.
  Losses: m/c May '04, m/c July '04, ectopic March '05, m/c March '12, m/c August '12

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 12-15-2010 - 3:44pm

Totally normal...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Wed, 12-15-2010 - 10:27pm

Hon, (hope you don't mind that, it really is meant in earnest and not as a patronizing or belittling term!)

You are normal to need and want to be soothed and caressed as if by your Mommy right now, and in fact, if you had been born to a different culture, you could have been born to one of many in which the expectant mother IS "mothered" and wrapped in love and protection, and delicate understanding, by her mother, sisters, aunts, best friends, and given rituals to help her feel like part of something and protected, which our culture really does not offer.



Loving life as an 0ver-35 mom and Postal Wife, homeschooling, urban homesteading, relaxed crunchy/geek hybrid housewife, trying to live consciously in an age of media hypnosis

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2007
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 10:21am

Your relationship with your husbad is about to change in a huge way!


Mom to Talia (3)

expecting #2 on 1/11/11

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2010
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 12:01pm

I'm also a FTM and a week behind you at 34 weeks. I've had a very similar experience - a very lucky, straightforward pregnancy. I am also at the nervous phase and I think it's exacerbated by the fact that after about my third trip to the bathroom at 3am my mind is on and there's no turning it off. With a big list of "what have I forgotten", "what can I expect" and "I'm not ready, how much is this gonna hurt?!" questions running through my mind at 100 miles an hour.

I suspect its all normal though and its lovely to read the BTDT experiences and advice.

The only difference with me is I'm all about the drugs. Bring them on that's what I say, but I love that everyone can appreciate we are all different and want to do things our own way and everyone should be respected to do just that. I've found it hard with so-called "well wishers" forcing opinions on me so its refreshing not to see that on this board.

Whatever your experience I think the key is voicing your concerns. After many years my husband and I have reached a point where our communication is fantastic (believe me, it took some hard work!). I think the man's natural response is to "fix" the problem and my husband now understands that this isn't what I need, in fact what I need is for you to be quiet, hold my hand and tell me everything will be OK. And if I'm crying just cuddle me until I stop, wipe away the tears and tell me you love me, not ask me over and over again what's wrong and tell me how I should fix it. Now he understands this its actually easier for him to cope with me when I'm feeling emotional and he knows he doesnt have to fix it but just be there emotionally for me.

I guess what I'm saying is if you can explain exactly what kind of support you need, it helps all of you.

Remember its the hormones making you emotional and doubt yourself. I know its a cliche but women have been giving birth for thousands of years, most drug-free and I think women these days are far stronger and more prepared than they ever used to be.

I wish you the very best birthing experience. Good luck. :smileyhappy:


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Thu, 12-16-2010 - 3:30pm

All I can say is , "wow".