Thinking about trying for baby #2????

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Thinking about trying for baby #2????
3
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 3:52pm

First off hello ladies!! It has been a loooooonnnnnggg time. I think I went MIA around my DD 4 or 5 month of life. LOL For some reason it was easier to visit message boards when I was pregnant versus now with a 14 month old..hmmm wonder why? ;o)

Well I want to talk about something that a lot of women I am finding don't want to talk about, the negative emotions associated with motherhood.

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2009
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 4:45pm

First of all, Welcome Back!

I can't offer much advise on the negative feelings.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2010
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 5:24pm

That was more helpful than you know!! I guess I am not looking for answers but rather encouragement/support that there are other moms out there who feel the way I do at times.

Pregnancy%20ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
Sat, 03-17-2012 - 4:45pm
I'll be honest and say I did not like my first daughter between the age of 1 and 2, haha! I think it was a combination of the age and her personality. She's not high needs so much, but quirky and particular, and that combined with the lack of communication and the small amount of understanding between the two of us just made for a bad year. Once she began talking more things got sooooo much easier and more peaceful.

I haven't felt that distance with #2 at all though, even though she talks less. Her personality is different - more content and compliant, but I think it's also because I'm not in a hurry for her to grow up or to move on to the next phase of toddlerhood. And having her big sister around to entertain her helps a ton also :) Having 2 makes most things easier for me believe it or not!

As far as relationship stuff, #2 definitely did not affect us the same way as going from none to one did. It was old news this time. All of our money and work decisions and responsibilities were already established. I do still struggle with DTD some - it's hard to switch from mommy mode to wife mode when you're exhausted at night and want nothing more than 30 minutes of silence and solitude. This might sound lame, but the thing that has really helped us is to schedule sex. I know it sounds lame, but on Mondays and Thursdays I know this is going to happen tonight and I can, er, mentally prepare myself, as awful as that sounds. It also eliminates the need for DH to constantly be begging me, which is a huge turn off for me (and I don't need any help being turned off, believe me). It's something to think about, and it was sort of awkward in the beginning, but it's working for us!