Trey is not talking yet :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2009
Trey is not talking yet :(
7
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 12:15pm

We just had Trey's 15 month checkup.



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Thu, 04-26-2012 - 10:39am
I know what you mean, Kate! I also had the reaction of "on what planet do most 15 month olds speak 10 intelligible words, and where are they getting whatever studies this is based on?!" because it seems pretty far out there from my experience and that of most other mothers I know.

 

-Meg

Loving life as an 0ver-35 mom and Postal Wife, homeschooling, urban homesteading, relaxed crunchy/geek hybrid housewife, trying to live consciously in an age of media hypnosis

<a href="http://lilypie.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2008
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 11:30pm
I'm sorry! Hopefully he's just a late talker. My first always just barely met the talking standards and then her language exploded a little after 2. Leela has been slower yet, but thankfully she just picked up "wa" (water) the day before her 15 months appointment. The ped said they like to see 10 words but 3 is the minimum, and I had to laugh because 10 isn't that many words but I thought to myself "10 WORDS?! Do you expect me to raise a little Einstein?!"

Anyway, the lack of communication is frustrating so I feel you there! I'm lucky that Leela does at least seem to comprehend most of what I say, just doesn't have any words. That's a shame he just missed the qualifications for EI - I've heard such amazing stories about the program and how the kids catch up and then go on to overachieve! He is still young though so hopefully he's just getting a late start, but I hope you can get him some help sooner than later anyway!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 8:02pm

Hi Jennifer,

We have an autistic neighbor boy and I am so in awe of his parents and support workers for the heart they put into the job. After what you described, that he has trouble understanding verbal commands without gestures, it's good to know he's mimicking sounds and I will be rooting for him that it's just a small bobble of a delay. I didn't mean to make light. I just felt like I found standards shifting from my first kid in 2004, to my most recent in 2011, and I felt it was strange to expect so much talking before a year and a half.

 

-Meg

Loving life as an 0ver-35 mom and Postal Wife, homeschooling, urban homesteading, relaxed crunchy/geek hybrid housewife, trying to live consciously in an age of media hypnosis

<a href="http://lilypie.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 4:16pm
Ronan just started really talking within the last month, and he still doesn't speak nearly as much as his older brother did at 15 months. We had to postpone his checkup, but the main thing I dread about it is when the doctor asks about his speech (and his weight-but that's another post :-)
Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2009
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 12:53pm

Meg,

I work with autistic children doing behavior therapy.



iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2007
Tue, 04-24-2012 - 8:28am
By now, having had 3, I have seen that it seems like they lower the limbo bar year to year for what to be concerned about next. Each of my kids has had "concerns" issued about their not saying enough words before 2, and both the older ones went on to talk a blue streak of nonstop chatter by 3, continuing through 4. Both also had a pronounced baby lisp through 4, which my son still has though it is fading, and my daughter lost the last vestiges of hers, when she started losing her first baby teeth.

Since I am old enough to perfectly well remember that in the 70's and 80's, nobody thought a 3 or 4 year old with a baby-talk lisp, or a toddler under 2 not talking much, was anything remarkable or that needed treatment, I find it quite ridiculous that it's considered cause for alarm now. My mother had a Montessori school and daycare in the 80's, and would also laugh about today's standards and expectations for babies and toddlers, and agrees that it was widely normal that around 1 was when they walk, and around 2 is when they talk, give or take a few months in each direction.

The important thing is, James understands what I say. If I ask him to give Daddy his hat, he will carry it over to Daddy. That proves he has language. If Trey shows no signs of language comprehension, that would be something that to worry about, for sure.

There's an old saying, that to someone with a hammer in their hand, everything looks like a nail, and within the scope of my 3 kids over the last 9 years, I have seen changes in the language development expectations, expecting more and more at younger ages, with less tolerance for variations and more perceived need for intervention, for things that no one would have seen as a problem 30 years ago.

I know that there wasn't anywhere close to the problems 30 years ago, as there are now, with things like food allergies and autism (and a lot of people play it off as better detection, but I have to tell you, I never even met a kid who had those problems, when I was a kid, and now, I meet several every month, out in public, and we're talking the really obvious ones that no one could miss, like the 7 year old hand-flapping and screeching). So I do know there may be more cause for concern, and more push for early screening, and that is valid.

But I also think, that if you lower the threshold, and keep lowering it, for how early things are expected, you're going to catch more and more in the net, that would otherwise not have been labeled a problem.

I'm hoping that Trey is not fundamentally different from James, and is a perfectly normal little boy, being caught in the dragnet of ever-tighter expectations, where there really is nothing wrong with him, but I think your intuition is a key factor.

Hugs! It's not easy with the first, and it's not easy with such a fear-based, defensive medical attitude these days.

 

-Meg

Loving life as an 0ver-35 mom and Postal Wife, homeschooling, urban homesteading, relaxed crunchy/geek hybrid housewife, trying to live consciously in an age of media hypnosis

<a href="http://lilypie.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2001
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 5:47pm

Wow.

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