Do you go out? with or without baby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
Do you go out? with or without baby?
10
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 2:01pm

I just thought this might be an interesting discussion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 2:38pm
When and IF we go out we all go as a family. I made a decision long ago (when dd was like 2) that I would never go out anywhere without her.

My thoughts stem from when my sis and I were little. Our parents would go out almost every weekend, We would have sitter or stay at grandmas house. They would go out to dinner and where ever else. But I hated being left out.........it hurt .

I remember asking my mom "where did you go? Where did u eat? did u have fun" to be excluded was not fun,

We do not have family near by to baby sit. We never go to movies.....if we go out to dinner it is to one place that ds will actually eat at so it is limited for us.
And the way faizan is acting for the past 2 days, my out time will be limited!!!
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 9:08pm

I may be in the minority here, but SO and I do go out occasionally and leave the kids with my mother or his. We haven't really done it with Jack, yet, because he's so little (although my mom has taken him to her house for an hour or so with the other two so I can get some homework done, this semester is killing me!). I'm sure that when he's older we will probably continue this habit. Our parents really love having the kids over occasionally and I think (and please realize this is only my opinion, I don't mean to put down anyone else's feelings) that it's healthy for them to bond with their grandchildren. SO and I will maybe go to a movie or out to dinner...but this really only happens probably once every couple months, we don't have the money to go out often!!

The older kids have stayed at their grandparents overnight as well, but of course they are older. I don't foresee Jack doing that for quite awhile.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 11:31pm
We take baby most everywhere we go, but I am a student and had to return to class when baby was just 3 weeks old ... and baby can't go to class with me. Fortunately my MIL lives nearby and babysits during my class (meets MWF for 1 hour each day).

Because we have family, and I definitely feel more comfortable with family watching a young baby, I've also been to dinner w/ just DH at least once and I went to a play with him about 2 weeks ago. And - the big thing that has come up w/ all my kids - I have season tickets for my favorite football team. DD #1 and #3 were both just 4 weeks old during the first game ... and we did leave baby for the 5ish hours the game + travel takes. I cried the first time Ieft DD#1. But with DD#3 it was no big deal. Again - baby stays with family.

But in December because of my husband's job we have a LOT of celebratory commitments, and my in-laws will be traveling that month. So I'm going to have to find a babysitter that is not family to make it through December ... and therefore, I have to start trying sitters out now. Probably just for a movie so that I'm not gone very long. We'll see ... definitely nervous. In the past, I've only used 18 year old+ sitters with a background in early childhood development (most were actually teachers or other early childhood educators). Hoping to find someone like that now ...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 5:42am

I agree that finding non-family baby sitters is a lot harder. I've been lucky that I haven't had to do that and if my family wasn't so close by, I would probably be a LOT more reluctant to leave the kids anywhere. Although, a good friend of mine mentioned that her stepdaughter (who is 16) is trying to earn some money for driver's ed and is looking for baby-sitting jobs. I know here very well and she's a great kid, so I'm thinking of maybe hiring her to stay with the older two occasionally if I have some errands to run or whatever. I'm not really comfortable leaving Jack with a teenager, but I was also thinking that maybe she could get some "practice" and come to the house while I'm here sometimes just to keep an eye on him while I get some of this blasted research done for my class.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 11:05am

DH and I take baby alot out to eat during the day/early evening and we had her at the christening lunch/dinner of course (she was very cranky and i held her while i ate the whole time lol until she fell asleep). We can't be out at night anyway with baby because she is so cranky at night...We are always usually home by 8pm...I can't see Jenna being quiet at the movies and its not worth it for me to risk her screaming while others are enjoying a movie...I was just referring to adult settings where you CANNOT take a baby of course..I wouldn't Jenna to any concerts as she doesn't like loud noises AT ALL plus i don't think its good for their young ears..In adittion the night thing comes in to play. Jenna cannot go anywhere at night (again very cranky) ..More power to you if you can manage doing night stuff with your infant... We took Jenna to a festival sunday and she wasn't crazy about the Loud music and sun so we got away from the music and in the shade...It was an ok time. I have been taking her out in the stroller often while its still nice out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 2:45pm

Jen, your comment about volume... I had to smile.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Wed, 10-12-2011 - 11:39pm
I also found the exclusion perspective to be interesting. I personally feel guilty when I leave me kids often (happens more when they get older - with the new baby I'm doing more and more kid-friendly activities). But I remember that I spend every Saturday night with my grandparents, and it honestly never occurred to me that my parents might be having fun without me (they really didn't go out a whole lot, but now that I'm older I realize it was to give them some time together or even some quiet time alone ... kids are great but they can drain your batteries).

I met a pastor once who said his parents always went on their weekly date and he asked them once to skip it and stay home with him. His dad apparently explained to him that they went on their weekly date because they loved each other and they loved him ... spending time together allowed them to keep their relationship strong, which kept their family strong. There was more to the answer, but the point was mostly that working on the marital relationship is every bit as important as working on the parenting relationships. And I remember thinking that it was a fair point ...

So - I dont want my kids to feel excluded, but I do also think that it's important to have some time with DH that doesn't involve the kids ... very interesting discussion!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2008
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 12:47am

We usually don't go out unless it's a kid friendly venue, and that's how it's been for years for us.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
Thu, 10-13-2011 - 3:12pm
I agree we as parents need time alone with our spouses/SO. But I just remember never or hardly being able to go out to eat with my parents. They went all the time less me and my sis. I was heart broken.

DH and I just do not feel right abt going somewhere with out the kids......esp out to dinner. Where we go they go.
DH and I have not really had too much "us time" since faizan came along. Before I had him, we would run to the store and tht was abt it.

When the older 2 are in school, we do spend time with each other (between his meetings) we want to try to get some time at night for a movie, or play the xbox or Wii,. I have thought about making the kids dinner and eat a little with them, and when the kids go to bed we can have dinner LOL. **sigh** we are a package deal iguess :)
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2010
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 1:58pm

We tend to do both...

Having 2 much older DD's we have lots of activities and commitments. We also have the luxury of having both my mom and in-laws close buy to help when needed. My mother watches him during the day while I am at work.

We tend to analyze each situation and then decide when and where we will