For future dads... (and some current ones)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
For future dads... (and some current ones)
9
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 10:39am

Over the years on Ivillage, I have seen a lot of posts about dh's not helping or even seeming to care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2007
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 4:34pm

That was a good article.

Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 4:52pm

love this. I think i'll share on facebook too !!:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 9:21pm

That totally made me cry because that is my SO to the "t" and yet I won't even have him read it because he'd just tell me that he's not like that and he does plenty.

BUT...he's never taken both kids ANYWHERE other than to drop them off at Sunday School or occasionally a family gathering on his side when I've been sick. Never once has he carted them to dance or soccer or a school event, nor has he EVER taken them to a store or restaurant. He says it's a pain in the neck and yet I do these things every single day of my life. And I don't resent them...I resent the fact that he just never wants to be a part of these things.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2010
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 11:38pm

I'll just throw in my 2 cents as the "other" perspective.

My husband, for the full length of this pregnancy, wakes up with our son (3) seven days a week. He also handles any and all middle-of-the-night issues, seven nights a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2010
Fri, 06-17-2011 - 11:41pm

I also want to add, as the breadwinner of the family with a SAHD, I cannot even IMAGINE where some of these "working" husbands get off thinking the evening is for their own private rest, and the weekends as well!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 9:10am

It's funny because the author of the article was commenting on dads who have wives that are SAHMs and that he is irritated that they seem to think that just because they work all day, they are entitled to a break after work. Wonder how he feels about the dads who have wives who work outside of the home and STILL expect the moms to do all the child rearing??

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2009
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 10:44am

This is a GREAT article...I'm blessed that my DH is very active with our kids and not like one of the dads described in the article.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 5:23pm

Liz, that's just ridiculous. if both parents work, things should be shared. I do see though usually (for me at least) moms take initiative to do things for baby and child.. Husbands seem to wait for you tell them what you want them to do. I know my DH thinks he is going to work out still 3 nights a week (in the basement at least)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Sat, 06-18-2011 - 9:43pm

I wish I could say the same in this house! I don't mean my kids have the most uninvolved father in the world, but he definitely does not take initiative to participate in family things. He'll go to soccer games and things that are scheduled and I've reminded him a million times about, but I'd love it if he just once took the kids for ice cream out of the blue or something. I hate to use the typical excuses, but I do know that his family never really did anything together, so maybe he thinks it's acceptable??? Who knows...we've had this argument a gazillion times over the years and it doesn't change. I still plan and do everything and he participates when it's convenient.

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