How many visitors will you have after baby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
How many visitors will you have after baby?
23
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 4:06pm

I haven't had a baby for 15 yrs and so not used to all the attention that having a baby brings (esp DH's first and prob only). I am sort of anxious about all these people wanting to bombard us when baby gets here (prob another reason i don't want baby coming early). SIL actually had the nerve to ask me if she could be at my L&D (i am not really close with her at all). I said NO WAY (laughing). I only want DH there. I honestly may not call anyone until i am late in labor (or i will call my mom and sister and tell them don't tell anyone). no one will be in L&D with me besides DH but i don't want 30 people waiting outside either. (DH family already was like " do you mind if we are in waiting room?") I am going to try and breast feed and don't want all the distractions..I can imagine what first 2 weeks will be at my house. I will tell people to go home if they overstay their welcome and we are exhausted. DH will be home for some time (10 days to 12 days depending on when baby gets here) so at least i won't be alone.What's everyone else's plans? I wish i could tell people not to come over but i know DH family and my little family is so excited and they would think its rude to keep people away.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2009
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 4:31pm

All of our family lives out of town, but since I have a scheduled c/s both mine and DH's parents are coming in...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-21-2011
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 4:53pm

part of me wishes I have the same problem as you as this is our first child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 4:55pm

It sounds like you have the new baby papparazzi waiting for you........................

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 5:09pm

Where i am from, people don't move far from eachother. All of DH's relatives are VERY close by (sister in law, FIL are within walking distance and so is my mom, sister and brother).. so i assume they think they will see baby and us all the time. When i am back to working full time, that won't be happening. If they were out of state i can see but they are all nearby where i live or in surrounding suburbs. My family is very small but DH has a huge family and they LOVE DH. ..I am italian but DH's family is very italian (in that the boys are put on a pedestal in a way). So they are all dying to see this baby esp. since she is being named after DH's deceased mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 5:37pm

Oh boy you have your work cut out for you.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 6:14pm
whoever wants to visit can....lol i actually want both my sisters in the delivery room. My dh is a mild germaphobe but really not into the birth experience.... So even if he is there my sister will be cutting the umbilical cord. this is my 3rd child and my dh has flat out refused with the other two so this will be the first time i have people there that actually want to be and im really thrilled about that.. (lol, i swear he is not a jerk...he is the best father and dh ever this just isn't his strong suit)

i would not want my mom in the delivery room but thankfully she is going to be in italy from July 7th to july 28th which makes it very unlikely. She is fabulous just i don't think i will be patient and my sisters don't care if i'm snippy.....whereas she would cry. :)

and my dh's family lives 2000 miles away...........they are coming for two days in august and then who knows when i will see them again......i like them but its a good arrangement ;)

im not sure how I would set boundaries in your situation. it sounds like a tiny little farm community...... .probably I would just tell everyone to call first before coming and if i didn't want visitors i would turn my phone off. That is what my friend did. and no one takes it personally because she would just say 'oh i turn the phone off when the babies are napping" good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 6:42pm

i live in the City where most families don't leave unless they move to the nearby burbs (not a farm community) lol. No one will come over without calling or anything like that. I am just more of a private person than when i was younger. My mother and ex-h were in the L&D with first child but this time, i want only DH there. As i said i am more private and feel this is too personal for anyone else to be there besides him, Believe me if i didn't need medical personnel they wouldn't be there either. lol. I'll be ok.. I am just not that much of a social butterfly these days wanting company all the time like i was in my 20's.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 8:27pm

For my first, I had literally every single member of my extended family waiting in my room when I got back from L&D. It was a nightmare! There were so many people that I could barely breathe...LOL. I know they all meant well, but that was ridiculous! For DD, I had a CS and no one came to see us until after lunch (I'd had her around 8:00) which was nice. My mom and grandma came at first and then others came around dinner time. I was in the hospital longer this time, so the visitors were much more spread out. I'm hoping it will be the same way this time. It's just such a special AND stressful time that having so many people all at once can just be overwhelming!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Mon, 06-20-2011 - 9:47pm
We'll likely have several visitors but they don't really bother me. I'm very comfortable nursing and nursing in public, so I'll just nurse when i need to ... I simply say "time to eat" and retrieve me baby if someone else is holding her.

With my first when I wasn't quite as experienced with nursing, I still just did what I needed to do with baby - just took her from whomever - and went to another room.

I'm fairly comfortable making sure my / baby's needs are met. I appreciate the company and help that I get from all my family visitors, but if they're somehow impeding what needs to happen at home, I have no problem saying I need them to do something different.

No one but DH will be in delivery room (I do natural childbirth, so I'm pretty mobile and it's not like I'm just laying in bed w/ blankets covering my nether regions sitting around chatting). It's just not comfortable to be walking around 1/2 naked with a bunch of family in the room imo. But I have a history of fairly short labor (b/w 5-6 hours both previous kids), and I'm fine if family is in the waiting room. My MIL / FIL took care of my older DD in the waiting room during my last labor until my own parents got there, at which point my dad took over w/ older DD (he's her favorite person in the world). I suspect this time will be very much the same ... except I'll have 2 kids in the waiting room. If I go into labor during the day, my kids my stay at in-laws house for a couple hours before going up to the hospital, but I don't really know. And it doesn't really matter to me. I'll let them choose. I know my older DD really enjoyed being the first family member (besides DH and me) to get to meet her new sister last time - and I think both my girls will want to be there when this baby is born too. So I suspect they'll wait it out in the hospital. But we have iphones w/ movies, etc., to entertain them for the few hours they'll have to wait.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Tue, 06-21-2011 - 12:17am
With Tristen, we had a lot of pretty constant visitors, and it started at the hospital. The security was so nice to us b/c you were only technically allowed I think 3 at a time but they def. didn't stick to that...at times we'd have 5, maybe even 6. Once I came home, we had visitors maybe 1/2 the week for a little while (not counting my parents).

In retrospect, it was too much...at the hospital esp. so I'm not going to be ok w/ that this time. Plus I know the rules and security aren't lenient like that anymore so it'll be max. 3 guests at a time. I don't mind visitors at all, but I'm not going to put aside my well-being this time around. Recovering from a c-section isn't easy, esp. at first. I def. don't mind visitors at home...but people know I don't like pop-ins and so it'll be whenever it's convenient for us. Until Labor Day, Tristen will continue to be in school 3 full days a week so he'll help to keep us on track w/ our schedule, and my hubby's a teacher so he'll be home all summer (tomorrow's his last day). I'm not the kind to want to stay in all the time anyway in the nice weather. I plan to breastfeed, too, but I have no problems excusing myself w/ the baby when needed.
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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