If i could do it over again..i wouldn't have a shower at a restaurant hall..:( Long Vent

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
If i could do it over again..i wouldn't have a shower at a restaurant hall..:( Long Vent
18
Wed, 05-04-2011 - 5:18pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009

11 days is short notice, but is it too late to change the venue?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

No we can't. There are 45 people going from all over my area and my sister or anyone else has no room for all those people and they won't refund any money. My sister wouldn't cancel it or do that but i just feel lousy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

I may just force her to take a few hundred from me for her birthday..If DH family doesn't put any money in, it just will make things uncomfortable to me...oh well..i am realizing people suck more and more. ha

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004

Aww..I'm sorry, Jen! You seriously don't need all the added stress. I guess I would at least try to force your sister into taking some money and if she truly won't, then just appreciate the wonderful sister you have : )

My shower's coming up as well and my mom's kind of freaking out because she doesn't have many RSVP's and at least three people I invited from school aren't coming because they have other things going on. Only two other people have called to say they can come. I'm not trying to be greedy, but I know how much time my mom's put into this and it's stressing her out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

Thanks Liz! Its like why do the nice events always have to be tarnished with some drama and b.s.?? I don't understand people who cause trouble all the time like this but some people don't have all their marbles it seems. People don't seem to do what they say they will either :( I should know this by now being 36 but it still surprises me. I hope people RSVP for your shower soon.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008

I am so sorry for all that Drama, you and little Jenna don't need that!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
The issues with DH's family just sound like run-of-the-mill family issues ... they're unfortunate, but I wouldn't let it get you down. I had some similar issues with my own father's family when I got married (I wouldn't let children attend my wedding which irritated some people with toddlers and young children - although I was providing free childcare during the ceremony and all children were welcome at the reception). Anyway, I just basically said "whatever". Come if you want to. Don't come if you don't want to. I am who I am, and I want things the way I want them.

As for the venue, it's a bit tricky. Personally, I will likely never, ever throw another shower w/ another person UNLESS it's at a restaurant and I work with someone from the beginning on it. I've done several at my house where I ended up being asked to host with another person, and it's been frustrating both times. I simply want to host it, pay for it, etc. If I wasn't prepared to pay for it entirely, I wouldn't have volunteered to host it to begin with.

So, while I feel badly for your sister if she was truly counting on help, if she volunteered to host it, it may be that she was ok with covering the expense of the shower. If she was planning on having help, and the help was supposed to be coming from someone within your DH's family, I'd ask him to make the call regarding the expenses. It's easier for him than it would be for you (it's your shower, you should have no hand in planning it at all) or your sister, who very likely doesn't really know your DH's family.

Ultimately, yes, you can offer to help share some of the expense with your sister, but again, I'd probably have your DH offer. It's more of a gift from your husband then it is "charity" for your sister (hope that makes sense). I just know that if my DH really wanted to ensure I had a fantastic and nice shower, I could see him offering to help cover the cost with the hostess as a gift to me ... which my hostess might think was sweet, as opposed to the feeling she might have if I offered to pay for part of it myself, which might just make my hostess feel guilty.

HTH
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004

You know, your post reminded me of something. I hope I don't sound like a spoiled brat when I tell you this, but it's sort of along the lines of your DH's family saying they'll help pay and then not following through.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

Thanks for your reply...I guess she assumed (which we know what that gets you) that his family will help in some financial fashion and DH girlfriend told her she would give something but now hasn't called my sister back. I will have DH call her by Friday or something if she doesn't call my sister..This is just dumb. :( DH offering money would be no different than me offering money. She knows him pretty good and it wouldn't make a difference i don't think. But thanks for the advice and listening :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008

OMG. Sorry you have to deal with all this drama -- especially right now! A baby shower should be a fun and exciting time, not full of stress and worry. :(

And your SIL... boy does she sound like a piece of work. I swear she sounds EXACTLY like one of my older sisters. My sister is a sociopath. She pulled a similar stunt with my baby shower for my 1st baby. She called and cussed everyone out because her name wasn't on the invitation as somebody who was throwing the shower. Ummm, that's because she DIDN'T help with throw the shower!! She didn't contribute at all! Why would she get any credit? What a nutjob! Then she never called me, never sent me a gift or even a card. Juts a few hate emails. She is in her mid 40's and acts so immature and childish. Anyway, I digress.

I hope your baby shower still turns out to be a wonderful day. don't let the weirdos and drama get you down.

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