Preparing Siblings for Baby

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2005
Preparing Siblings for Baby
11
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 8:51am

The relationship between siblings is one that lasts a lifetime, and preparing children for the birth of a new baby is an important beginning.

Preparing siblings for new baby- http://www.ivillage.com/preparing-siblings-new-baby/6-a-129287?ice=iv:mb:msg:kp

How have you been preparing your older child(ren) for baby?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2002
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 8:59am
Since this is #3 our oldest already understands what the changes will be. Since his sister recently passed away I think having a second sister will put him back in that big brother role ( which he loves that role) we were worried he'd have trouble bonding after losing Lily but as his ped pointed out with his personality even if he doesn't want to bond he will he's getting excited about a new baby sissy at this point.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 4:58pm

This is a personal question but are you, your husband and your son in any sort of grieving therapy for Lily? I can't imagine being a child his age and losing a sibling and then gaining one shortly after.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2002
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 5:08pm
Enjoy dh and I are in grief therapy. Being only 7 Alex is in play therapy he's having issues with regression and separation anxiety. The therapist said due to his age he doesn't have the ability to cope with this so they are working on teaching himthe skills he needs to understand and cope. Luckily his acting out is limited to home and he's not having issues at school. They also suggested giving him melatonin to sleep as my never had a sleeping issue been sleeping all night since 3 weeks old child can't go to sleep, the melatonin seems to be helping him.
So yes all of us went straight into counseling or therapy.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2002
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 5:09pm
Enjoy should be yes love the phone auto guess
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 5:37pm
We started really mentioning the new baby to Tristen on March 1st when we found out we'll be having a girl. He knows his baby sister's name is Presleigh and she'll be coming in July. He says he's a big brother...now! Haha My son is not even 3 yet so he doesn't bring the topic up on his own -- he's got more important things going on in that head of his -- but he'll answer us when we ask him things. He's very loving and sweet, but I know he'll be jealous b/c he gets jealous when we have other babies around us. It's normal and natural, but we'll do our very best to keep his routine the same and on track. He'll still be going to daycare 3 full days a week (M, W, F) all summer then he starts a new school full-time in Sept. We already signed him up for his summer gym class (we'll make sure he gets there every week...he needs that and deserves his fun time!). Plus we'll still be able to be outdoors...take him to the pool, park, zoo, or just to play and run around. I think he's the one who'll keep US on track! :)
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 7:13pm

That is great that everyone has gotten help. How are you doing/ feeling?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 7:56pm
Chelle...I think about you & your family quite often. I was wondering how you were all doing, especially your son who's still young. I'm also glad to hear you haven't shyed (sp?) away from therapy as i think it's a great resource and outlet. i'm sure in time and with age he'll come to deal and understand. i still can't even begin to imagine what you're going through but in the loss of one life, another beautiful one will arise!
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2002
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 8:33pm
i'm doing ok there are days where its' just horrible and hard to just function though the day.. then other days are ok... last night was really bad Alex wouldn't' concentrate with his spelling words and with everything else that just sent me over the edge and i spent the next hour just crying. i try to stay busy i can usually stand being home till around lunch time then the lack of noise starts getting to me so i go out by myself or meet up with friends (i'm a SAHM so kids are around me non stop) .
my ob said if everything is normal this coming week still we can space my appts (currently going weekly and by space she probably means every other week LOL) we set up my induction date for july 21st (due july 30th) we normally wait till my due date for induction but with everything going on and not to mention my doctor being out of town that week we decided it's best to go a week early (my OB has been a HUGE support with everything and i'd prefer her deliver Grace she also delivered Lily although tha'ts not the reason for an induction i've 2 already so we are bound to head that way so might as well plan early.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2002
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 8:37pm
Alex will cope in his own time but hopefully therapy will give him the skills he needs for that. He complains alot about things that used to bug him like he says it's too quite to do his homework (Lily was very feisty so when he was doing homework she'd run around making noise and tell him BUBBIE PLAY)
when i get really down i try to remind myself what happened to her is sooooooooo rare that it was her time for whatever reason. and that she was so full of life and learned everything she could while she was here she was always trying to help anyone that she could and she helped in even her death by giving 5 people another chance at life though organ donation.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 9:44pm

*hugs* Losing a sibling would definitely make this transition more delicate.

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