What have you sacrificed since baby?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
What have you sacrificed since baby?
9
Fri, 10-07-2011 - 9:13am

So I am ebf and once in a while Jenna gets a bottle. She hates bottles at night and just wants to nurse until she goes to bed which is around 11pm. Therefore, DH and I can not go out past 8pm basically ever (we have only been out a few hours here and there on a sat day (my mom has watched her twice i think so far). I was invited by my sister to a baseball play off game which starts at 830pm. Even though DH would be home, i do all the feedings and comforting at night, therefore, i had to turn the game down because it would end at 12am and I would feel so guilty not being with baby when she feeds at night and goes to bed. She hardly likes taking bottles at night anyway (very fussy and will scream and wait for me instead of taking a bottle). I feel bad that i will miss Game 5 of the series with great seats

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2011
Fri, 10-07-2011 - 12:10pm
Well Faizan is EBF the same as Jenna. I am his sole caregiver per say. DH and I have never gone anywhere with out the kids in the evening except maybe to the grocery store or gas station real quick, never out to dinner/movie. We never use babysitters, we do not have family clse to by to watch them if needed. DD is 13 and she can stay home with oldest ds but not faizan.

I never really go anywhere anyways. I am always at home, except to get the kids from school, maybe run to the store. But outisde of that I do nothing. DH is so busy working we dont have time to talk to each other :( And he is right down stairs!!!!

Saturday I am going to get my har cut (going to pump a bottle for Faizan)and get my hair cut and for the first time in my life COLORED!!!! And make up done. My b-day is sunday :)
THis is the one thing I am doing for myself since faizan was born. I have always put dd, dh, ds and now faizan before me always. I makesure that everyone haswhat they need. And if there is anything left I will get myself something small.

We travel out of the country but we all GO no one is left behind ever.
I guess we are te odd balls here.

I feel for you i really do :( ****HUGS****
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2007
Fri, 10-07-2011 - 3:21pm

lol.. In short..everything..dairy, gluten,sleep, freedom..but, with the amount of kids we have I somewhat expected all that..

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 12:27am

I don't know that I would use the word "sacrifice" - and not because I am some kind of saint.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 10:38am

maybe i say sacrifice because i was a single mom to first child and had just gotten the "freedom" of coming and going a littile since she's 15 yrs old and now i am back to the old ways of not being able to do things..I can't imagine having 4 or 5 kids so yeah if i did i would expect not being able to do things.. I only have 2 and its like i had only children twice basically or like i am a FTM since i haven't had the confinement situation for awhile. I didn't travel much with first child (never had a sitter over night except her father who wouldn't take her more than 2 nights). so i do miss the ability i would have had to travel now that my teen is older and older. Well the game turned out bad so i am glad i didn't go anyway and stayed with Jenna. lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Sat, 10-08-2011 - 8:30pm

This is going to sound weird, but the thing I am missing most right now is just being able to do my weekend cleaning!!! Jack has turned into a pretty easy going baby (thank goodness we got that formula mess straightened out!) but he still doesn't sleep through a ton of noise, so unless my mom takes all three kids for a couple of hours (which she has done a few times, thankfully) I can never just go on a cleaning frenzy like my OCD self would like to!! With my other two, they were old enough that I could just clean around them. Now, Jack starts screaming the second I take all my bathroom cleaning products out...LOL.

Aside from that, I have to say I do miss having that occasional "night off". My parents sometimes take my older two overnight, but they don't take Jack of course, so even though the other two are away for the night, SO and I can't go out or anything...so I have missed that a little bit. Of course, with all the school work I have this semester, I doubt I'd be going out much anyway...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 11:38am

I think when it is a single parent it reaches the level of "sacrifice" for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 6:12pm

I can definitely attest for both the couple then single parenting AND single parenting and then couple parenting and I think they are both hard. When DD was one, SO and I split for nearly a year. He had been out of work for a year and was literally doing NOTHING to find a job. I had to do my student teaching and I got sick of supporting him and was panicking over not having a job while I student taught, so I moved into my mom's with the kids. THAT was super hard on many levels. Number

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008
Tue, 10-11-2011 - 11:06am

I was a single parent since first child was 4 (she's 15 &1/2) BUT...even before i always did everything for DD15 --if she was sick, i took off work, etc. so for me no difference really except i put out mostly all the money and all the time...I attended everything and gave her a birthday party every yr and other occasions (ex-h did nothing). I always took her on vacation and had to take her dr's, take care of her when sick, take off work when she was sick, put her in schools, camps, vocal and dance classes (including paying all of it), getting hair cuts, put her in baseball and went to all practices and games, drove her everywhere, couldn't work past a certain time (had to pick her up every evening and took her to school every morning) find sitters for half days, sick days, snow days, short vacations i wanted to take without DD (she never could stay with her father or my mom (allergy to cats) so i hardly ever went anywhere for more than 2 nights. I still won't be leaving Jenna for years over night. I just can't do it. I have only left her a few hours a few times with my mom so far. This Sat we will have my mom watch her like 4 hours so DH and I can go out a little while for my birthday. We can't go out at night though because i have to comfort her at night and nurse her to bed.. She is still very cranky at night time...plus i don't want to leave her yet anyway.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Fri, 10-14-2011 - 1:19pm
Dh and I used to go out on a date at least once a month, but since Oliver has been born, we've gone out only once. Oops. I just remembered that we went out on a date about a week after Oliver was born (saw the new Harry Potter movie). 2 dates in almost 3 months isn't too bad then.

I miss having my arms free. Oliver constantly wants to be held. Dh is still living about 4 hours away (hopefully for not much longer though), so I never get a break. I really miss being able to do what I need to do. I have to rush getting things done when he takes his naps.
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