Four year old terror

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Four year old terror
7
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 7:28pm

I really was just not sure where to post this, but I am struggling SOOOOOO much with DD lately. I don't like complaining about my kids, especially since there are lots of people who just seem to think all my problems with her would just vanish if I disciplined properly...which, let's face it, is a whole other story since everyone thinks their way is the best way.

I guess most of the problem is just the constant unhappiness that seeps out of her. She has issues with everything, whines over everything, is rude about everything and about 100 times a day just screams at the top of her lungs for absolutely no reason. Everything bothers her: her clothes, loud noises, dropping something on the ground, her shoes being uncomfortable, she can't find something, her hair is in her face, she got her shirt wet, she thinks her underwear are wet and need to be changed if she feels just one drop on them, the list goes on and on and on.

I try so hard to be patient, but I feel it slipping. My own mother who is constantly telling ME to be more patient is now losing patiences with her. I just don't know what to do. I'm beginning to think there is really something wrong because this child just cries and whines all day long. Any ideas of what it could be? I hate throwing labels on kids, but I'm really at the end of my rope here!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2007
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 10:14pm

Liz,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
Sun, 04-17-2011 - 10:30pm

I understand not wanting to put labels on your kids... but frankly aspergers was something that came to mind when you went through your list (that and well um "being four")...

Regarding the former, I would say that if there is a way to talk to an expert and/or get her tested, it might help.

Regarding the latter.... and being four... I would say that each of my kids have gone through a "whining stage"... I

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 6:53am

Thanks girls. I forget which one of you brought up the sensory issues, but a friend of mine had mentioned that before. In fact, she gave me a book called The Highly Sensitive Child that I have to admit I haven't read much of (but only because the author seems very self-involved). Maybe I should just suck it up and try to get past her tone and read it. I really do think she has some sort of sensitivity issues, especially to loud noises. We have had her hearing checked and it's fine, but the poor kid screams and frets whenever we're in a situation that's really noisy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 9:23am

I've never had that issue myself, but I have heard of something called "night terrors" that causes a child around 3-5 to wake up in the middle of the night screaming... my understanding is that it is a normal variation.

(I agree about the tone of Highly Sensitive Child - it has some helpful points though).

I was not the one who mentioned it but my oldest showed a lot of signs of that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2007
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 10:52am

I have actually never read that book, I have poked and prodded at reading the The Explosive Child, but our DS is 11 and although he has sensory issues, his are mostly related to being over-stimulated by loud sounds and a crowded environment...He shuts down sometimes, becomes over excited (starts jumping up and down flapping his arms), or just has a complete breakdown and starts yelling and screaming at everyone...chucky cheese is seriously a nightmare (lol..actually we got close to being banned after the first time we went :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 12:09pm
There are so many judgmental people out there when it comes to parenting. It's so annoying. My sister is really bad about it. She thinks her way of parenting is perfect and the rest of us need to copy her.

My first thought, as others had mentioned, was that she has a sensory issue going on. In ds's group, there is a little boy that has a sensory issue. I'm not sure the details about it though. It might be Sensory Processing Disorder...

I think it would be a really good idea to sit down with her pediatrician and talk to them about it. From what I've read, not a lot of doctors are familiar with sensory disorders. If your pediatrician doesn't address your concerns, go see another one. If you have a gut instinct that something is wrong, don't let a doctor brush that aside.
 BabyFetus Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Mon, 04-18-2011 - 3:07pm

Thanks for all the helpful suggestions (and lack of judgement!!). I'm going to give the ped a call and see if they can get me in with her primary soon.

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