Just a "tiny" bit of man bashing

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Just a "tiny" bit of man bashing
7
Wed, 04-27-2011 - 5:35pm

I don't normally like to do this, but my SO made me soooo mad last night and I need to vent! So, the man likes to fish. I accept that. However, so far this year, he's been about 6 times and the lakes only been totally thawed for about 3 weeks, so you do the math. Anyways, yesterday I get a text from him at 4:00 saying "Going fishing wih Bobby after work.". Bobby is his best friend and a super nice guy, so that's not the issue. The issue is that I'm annoyed that he doesn't even ask. No, I'm not his mother, but I am pregnant and have two other kids to take care of. Would have been nice to at least been asked, but nope, he just went.

So, I take the oldest to soccer, go grocery shopping, make dinner, do homework and showers and sit down at 7:15 to realize that SO wasn't back yet. I text him, he says 30 more minutes. I wait until 8 to remind him that the kids are going to bed and they haven't even seen him yet today. No response. I keep the kids up until 8:30 and he's still not home and hasn't called or anything. So, I put the kids to bed and go to sleep myself. He pulls in around 8:45 and I haven't spoken to him since.

Am I being childish? Probably. But when the heck do I ever get to just say "Hey, I'm going here. You take care of the kids and everywhere they need to go and everything they need to do and I'll just be home when I feel like it."??? Annoying.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 10:33am

I can absolutely and totally relate to this...

My DH is the coach of the Sr. Girls Volleyball team at the highschool where

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Thu, 04-28-2011 - 8:03pm

Isn't it frustrating?? All I ever hear from SO is how it's important that he still hang out with his friends and believe me, I do understand it. I just wish I had as much time as him to hang out with friends. For example, my friend who had her baby invited me to come visit today because she had to cancel last week. I couldn't go because immediately after school I had to head to the realtor's office to sign an extension, pick up DD, drop her off with my mom, bring DS to the house to change for soccer and then bring him to soccer. Then I ended up getting takeout (again).

If SO had been invited to do something at the last minute, he would have just done it. There would have been no question on the other domestic responsibilities that needed to get done. *sigh* Not something that's likely to change anytime soon!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 12:47pm
No you are NOT being childish! I would be very upset myself!

Have you ever talked to him about this? If not, you should. If you have, well, he's not listening. I think its rude and disrespectful of him to just tell you he is doing something, and then just show up at home whenever he feels like it. Why don't YOU do that and see how he reacts? I am sure he wouldn't like it either.

My DH does not do this, and if he did, I would make it known it would not happen again!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 1:03pm
I don't think you're being childish at all.

I hate when dh plans out his day without even consulting me. It's expected that I'm automatically going to be at home taking care of the kids.

I think I'm going to schedule a weekend away before Oliver gets here. It'd be nice to not be a mom for a weekend.
 BabyFetus Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2008
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 3:24pm

I don't think you're being childish either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Fri, 04-29-2011 - 7:34pm

Yes, we've discussed it bunches of times, he'll be all super conscious of making sure he's home on time for about a month and then go and do something dumb. The thing that kills me is he just doesn't get all of the responsibility that I have that I'm unable to just "drop". Since I work in town, I always get the kids after school and take care of whatever needs to be taken care of until he gets home. He works about

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Sun, 05-01-2011 - 10:51pm

That sounds exactly like my husband. Last year he took me on a fishing trip with him and I got really really sick with a horrible stomach bug. We were camping and it was miserable. He wouldn't even take me home. :( I had to sleep in the truck all day and run behind a tree when I got sick. Thankfully I wasn't pregnant then or else I would have drove off and left him there.

I'm sorry that you had a bad day. Hopefully men can learn not to be so selfish. :(

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