ugh gotta suck it up for a bday party i guess

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2002
ugh gotta suck it up for a bday party i guess
11
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 4:46pm

Alex was invited to a birthday party this coming saturday I dont know the kid (he's in the same grade at alex at his school b ut they haven't been in the same class yet) alex was recentally moved into his best friends mom's cub scouts den anyway i was talking to Alex's best friends mom and asked her what the child liked so i had a clue what to get she gives me some ideas but says she doesn't know the child well because she doesn't allow her son to play with him outside of scouts because the child is very rude... i already rsvp'ed and told alex so i guess i have to suck it up for a couple hours... at least his best friend is going to the party .

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 6:34pm

That is really tough and I know how you feel. My children aren't perfect by any means, but there are a few kids that they have associated with who are just plain rude and I haven't invited back to my home (despite their constant begging). I just can't tolerate hearing the way they talk or even some of the games they like to play. For example, there was one who told Josh he was a "baby" because I made him wear a helmet to ride his bike. Sorry, but it's a law in this state until you are 12 years old and I don't see anything babyish about a 6 year old wearing a bike helmet. I feel bad, because Josh was really friendly with this child in school but it's just not the kind of attitude I want him getting. He is such a sweet boy, I want to keep him that way!! Today he had a friend over who is a very nice boy, but we also got into the dreaded discussion of why Josh can't play rated "M" video games. Normally, I don't really let Josh play many except once in awhile before bed and when he does they are rated "E". Well, the friend was over today and it was about 95 degrees, so I let them sit in the cool living room and play for a bit. Well, the friend immediately found SO's Call of Duty disk (ugh...so annoying that he feels the need to play that, but that's another rant). Anyway, the kid wanted to play and Josh said "I don't know how to play that" and the friend offered to show him. Well, I immediately said that Josh doesn't play those games and the friend did drop it but it left me with that feeling of "I cannot POSSIBLY be the only parent who does these things." I mean, seriously. There must be other parents who require bike helmets, no rated M video games, eating only fruit for a morning snack and so on? Or am I totally crazy?

LOL...I'm sorry, I sort of took over your rant. Hopefully, the party goes well and like you said...it's only a few hours. Maybe there will be so many kids there that this boy's rudeness won't seem as obvious.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2002
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 7:10pm
I'm the sae with video games we are very selective about what he plays, luckily Josh ( his best friend) mmom is the same way. I feel out in lala land because our child has rules , if he acted like I see some kids act I'd pull him out of whatever fun thing he was doing .
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 8:36pm

That's what I'm saying!! I just don't get it...my DS is just going into FIRST GRADE...shouldn't they be doing, oh I don't know, FIRST grade things? Kids grow up way too quickly as it is, why rush it? Anyways, the saving grace was that at least this little boy was polite enough to not call him a baby like the other one...and his manners are impeccable so I couldn't complain too much. I was just blown away that he plays that. I'm assuming his mom doesn't know either...he spends time with his dad on the weekends and (not to man bash or anything) I bet he doesn't think anything of letting him play it there.

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Registered: 10-23-2002
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 9:07pm
Hubby likes video games too but he's smart enough to know Alex can't be around watching when he's playingbthe things that are too graphic. Alex is going into 2 nd grade first grade they learns much. Thisbis a big school year for us cursive multiplication and 1st communion so when he has free time I want him being a kid. They lernso much more at younger ages then we did and people expect them to be more grown up then they should be. Doesn't help that my 7 year old is 4 foot 5 inches people assume he's older
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Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 9:44pm

Yes, my SO is good about not playing them when the kids are home or awake. I just don't think they need to be exposed to that. I mean, I know little boys are going to play good guy/bad guy and have fake gunfights or whatever despite what they've been exposed to...it's just that those games are so gory! I don't even like being around them. Especially this stupid zombie one he plays all the time. GROSS!

Oh and I hear you about the tall factor. Both of my kids are fairly tall, but DD is even more of an exception. People always look at her and assume she's 7 or even 8 when she's only 4. Which makes it especially hard if she's having a tantrum because they assume she should be more mature. Well, I suppose she SHOULD be more mature, but she's a very high spirited 4 year old!

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Registered: 07-16-2009
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 10:52pm

I am with you on this! I really get myself in trouble with the fact that I don't let the kids have toy guns.

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Registered: 10-23-2002
Wed, 07-06-2011 - 11:15pm
Food is one issue we have alex is pretty much vegeterian he came home from preschool one da and told me he wasn't eating meat anymore he will eat a few select meats mostly pepperoni and occasionally a small burger , joshs mom actually likes this though she says Josh ( who is a total meat and potato kid) will try produce because Alex will eat it. We've worked with Alex a lot on how to politely turn down food now that he's entering 2nd grade and there are about 75 kids per grade level his school most of the parents know about his diet but I still feed him before parties etc.
We've made sure Alex is extremely well mannered i had his first grade teacher pull me to the side at church to tell me he's one of the sweetest kids shes taught. I can't handle rude give give me kids
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Registered: 08-30-2004
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 8:16am

I think it's mostly the lack of manners or the criticizing of my children for not being allowed to do certain things that bugs me the most. I mean, my DS doesn't really have any toy guns (he does have squirt guns and a friend gave him a toy one for his bday) but that hasn't stopped he and his friends from just pretending they have guns in the air. Yesterday, they were in the pool and pretending to "shoot" one another so they'd fall in. I did let that one go for some reason...but when it turned into a "knife" fight I stopped it and the friend goes "What's the difference between a knife and a gun?" and I didn't have a logical answer. Guess I'll have to kind of re-evaluate all this violent play and how I feel about it because he did have a point, what was the difference?

It really is hard...but I've found that he has one or two boys that are very nice and I just try to encourage him to play with those kids. The one yesterday really wasn't an issue..other than the video game, and even then he was agreeable to it. I just can't stand those kids that act like I'm absolutely insane and that my child is a baby because I don't let him do things that are a) illegal or b) obviously too old for him.

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Registered: 08-30-2004
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 8:18am

That's really nice...it's one thing to refuse to eat anything and another to have some good manners about POLITELY refusing. Jillian had a friend over the other day and I offered them a Popcicle. She goes "I'm really not a pop girl, but could I please have some water?". I thought that was so cute and much better than "Eww...gross!!!"

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009
Thu, 07-07-2011 - 11:30am

Absolutely - I had no problem with the child refusing to eat or drink anything... it happens... and sometimes there is a food allergy and so I often offer alternatives... but my supply is not infinite, and that was one of the things that always amazes

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