How will you feed your child-- and deal with other people's comments?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2010
How will you feed your child-- and deal with other people's comments?
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Sat, 03-12-2011 - 9:18pm

How to feed your child (breast, formula, both, other) is one of the very first decisions we make as mother's to our new babies, and it's a big one, and so it's naturally emotionally loaded.

No matter what choice we make, there are always going to be people, often within your own family (or even house!) that will question your choice or give you grief about it or tell you flat out you are making a bad choice.

How do you plan to feed your baby (if you want to answer!)

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Avatar for ribrit
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2001

I breastfeed and get lots of insults. But I have had a fair number of children so I have years of nursing behind me. Thing is, the more they complain, the longer I nurse for. I am shocked to find people saying things that are not even related. My neighbor was telling me how nursing a baby or maybe a 1 yr old is ok, but when they learn to grab your shirt or something, you need to stop. Ok...I think babies start grabbing at you at birth pretty much (think of a rooting baby, and it just goes up from there).

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2004
I plan to try and breastfeed, and pump also. I probably will supplement with formula at times if needed. If the bf'ing and pumping don't work out well (like last time), then I'll obv. go to formula only. I could care less what anyone has to say to me about this topic...or other matters when it comes to my kids. I'll listen to the reasonable suggestions & advice, but people need to stop sticking their noses where they're not wanted...and limit their unsolicited advice. Everyone does what's best for them and their kids. The others need to respect that!
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2004

I just don't really care. This is the first child I will supplement formula with and my sister is horrified. when i said i will probably use walmart brand formula she almost had a heart attack. lol, its ridiculous.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004

LOL...ahhh, the epidural! I did have one with DS that never took effect, so even though I technically "got one" I feel as though I delivered all 10.8 pounds of him completely naturally ; )

Now, on to the tricky question. I will be formula feeding this baby. I always cringe when I say it because people look at me like I have three heads, so then I quickly launch into my reasons. Number one, I did try with DS. It was an absolute nightmare and a half and given the fact that I suffer from extremely high anxiety after giving birth (so much so that I have already talked to my OB and she is going to start me on a low dose of anxiety meds right before birth) it was just very difficult. After long thought, I decided to not even attempt it with my DD, and that turned out to be one of the best choices I ever made. If my SO is good at ANYTHING, it is the fact that he is more than willing to do nighttime feedings and just has a more calming nature about him. He was always able to feed our children and get them smoothly back to sleep, where I'd be sitting there crying along with them. We decided that this is just what works best for our family.

Now, as for the comments. Oh boy. SO's mother is full of them. Plus it doesn't help that her daughter is now on month 14 of BFing her DS, so now his mom thinks I should want to follow in her daughter's footsteps. It gets me very upset because it's not as if I'm against BFing in any way. We just feel that we should do what is best for me and what ultimately is best for the baby because having me be a basketcase is really no way to go. SO's mom is really the only one that badgers me. Most people listen to what I have to say and then move on. I can sort of tell their disappointed in me, but at least they have the common sense to not continue the conversation. The best part is that SO fully supports my decision and will defend me to his mother. I just find it funny that she continues to bring it up when we are now on baby number 3 and have FF each one (except for the very first few weeks with DS)

Sorry, I know this rambles. I just wanted to share my story because to BF or not to BF seems to be the biggest debate moms face these days and I know lots of moms who don't or didn't BF, but lie about it just so people won't criticize them. It's really unfortunate, it should be a choice that is made by the mom and/or father and then left at that.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004

Oh, and about the Walmart brand formula. That's what I used for DD after using Enfamil in the hospital and the baby never knew the difference. However, I certainly knew the difference in my wallet. The savings between using only Enfamil for my DS and using Parent's Choice (Walmart)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2002
Ill breastfeed for 2 years like I've done with the other 2 keep a few handy smart mouth comments on hand for the random idiot. Dh wouldn't dare to tell me to get an epidural I'm the one dealing with it in that moment so itsmy choice to be drug free
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

I will try for the first time to breast feed for at least 6 months. I am going to get a pump too. I tried to do it natural first time (15 yrs ago). I made it 10 hours but it got bad when i wasn't progressing and they were giving me pitocin (increased the pain). I first tried stadol and that did nothing so i finally said i'll take the epidural. I had to have it done twice i think and I did get some bad side effects from the epidural. A horrible spinal headache which i had to get tylenol w/codeine after a few days of feeling like i had a hangover plus back to neck pain. The worst headache i ever had in my life. I also pushed for 2.5 hrs so i am sure that didn't help. If i get the epidural, i will look for any signs of the headache because i won't suffer like i did the first time!! I formula fed my DD15 and she had some food allergies (still has peanut) so i am going to really put effort into breast feeding this time although i

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2010
@ enicholas2004
What a great response! I know breastfeeding moms talk alot about getting looks from people or having to stand up for rights to breastfeed in any way they want to (including me) but I feel like any mom who uses formula for ANY reason is really judged so harshly-- for starters you feel like obligated to serve up all your reasons on a platter for anyone who asks a question-- Imagine having to justify all our parenting decisions like this! oh the stress!!! It really just adds a load to our stress when we least need it!!
When I was nursing my son, in the early months (first 6 months) I was in horrible shape, and all my family and friends urged me to just stop doing it because they saw what it was doing to me-- given my own personal state after the birth and given all the technical problems that came up-- but it was my hub who looked at me like I was the devil in carnate if I even brought up the possibility of supplementing or weaning. It was like "How Dare You Even THINK OF IT!" as if it was his choice to choose breastmilk vs. formula as if they were just 2 brands at the store! :-)
Anyway this time around I am trying to be more proactive about having an open mind and doing what works for the whole mom-baby unit/family and not just what is the best nutrition. It's such a hard call to make.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2010
@chellenlarry
LOL I agree, the birth is my choice either way. The feeding is harder because then it's "our" child. My husband -- after huge pressure to keep up breastfeeding during the first year when it make me miserable --- then asked me repeated to wean my son when he reached age 2. By that point I was confident enough and kept it up until it ended naturally just before he turned 3 and was happy with that choice. After all the torture of it that first year, I didn't want to cut short the period of time when it was easy and a joy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2010
jenjoy, i am going to have a post a new thread asking how long women pushed for. 2.5 hours WOW you might hold the record in our EC! I am sorry you had to go through all that pushing time! I thought I had it bad with 1.5 hrs.
you are right, it's trendy and part of the super-mom package to breastfeed BUT you still are supposed to keep it totally discreet and hidden from view and stop when they are 1 yr and 1 day old :-) LOL
P.S. my son nursed til almost age 3 and seems to have a nut allergy. BFing doesn't guarantee anything but it does improve the odds of avoiding allergies (and various other health issues)

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