Starting to worry/feeling overwhelmed about having a 3rd child

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Starting to worry/feeling overwhelmed about having a 3rd child
11
Wed, 03-09-2011 - 12:38pm

Though I know I've said I always wanted 3 kids... now that I am actually pregnant with #3 (and halfway to birth!) I am starting to freak out. Not to mention this pregnancy was a total shock. We were going to hold off on #3 for a few more years, especially due to the fact we realized we do not like the 2 year spacing (first 2 children are 27 months apart--exactly the same spacing this time around. Go figure!).

I had a TOUGH time going from 1 to 2 kids. I found it much harder than going from 0 to 1. My DD was a colicky baby, my DS started to really act out for the first time, and it was a nightmare. I just hope this time around, we have a relatively calm baby like DS was.

I just try to picture myself going out in public, ALONE, with 3 kids under 5. It honestly gives me a panic attack. Some days it doesn't bother me as much, and I am more focused on the excitement and joy of adding another child to our family. But today it is making me feel very BLAH about it all.

My kids now (DS is 4 and DD turns 2 next month) are still young and needy, they never give me a break. I am exhausted. DS is getting harder to discipline. DS and DD fight all. day. long. Even a trip to the grocery store for milk is something that is getting so much harder to do (DD is a whiner (and a screamer)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2005

I can totally relate to what you are saying although I haven't really had the panic or worry about adding this baby...

...my kids, DS8 and DD2 also fight.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-29-2008

I can sort of relate but I'm only going from one to two, instead of two to three.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

Shell, I can relate although this is only #2..The time span of 15 years is insane...I was freaking out this weekend (thinking about all the time, energy and money a baby and child consume)...I will be doing everything again so much older and feeling like i never did this before...I so feel like a FTM and I think i am worrying more about baby's safety in the world in general than i did with DD15. Having a teen at the same time as a newborn is NOT easy esp. one who is no help these days and very negative about me having a baby (hope that changes).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2007

Shell you are NOT alone.

Lilypie - Personal picture
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2010
I can definitely relate. Our kids are close in age. Ds was very colicky when he was a baby and it lasted until he was 4 months old. Luckily, dd wasn't colicky. After experiencing a difficult baby, it really makes me nervous how the new one will be. I don't know if I can handle another colicky baby along with a toddler and a preschooler...

I think I have already decided that there is no way that I am leaving my house alone with 3 little kids. I cringe to even think about it. It's already a struggle with my current 2 kids. They're either staying at home or dh is coming along for the ride!

Sometimes it's hard to be optimistic at the thought of bringing another child into the family. We just have to keep our heads up and everything will work out in the end. :)
 BabyFetus Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Thank you so much to all who responded. I can't even begin to tell you how much it has made me feel better! I feel alot less alone in all of this now. It's just so easy to start to feel like the only one who is struggling with this.

I also talked to my DH about how I was feeling. He even left work early so I could run a few errands alone and recharge my batteries. I never knew a trip to the grocery store could be so theraputic! LOL.

Thanks again ladies. We will and can do this. :)
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2008

That's so nice Shell that your DH came home so you could do errands alone :) I know i remember going food shopping alone was nice when my DD was little. I guess i'll be doing that again hahahaha

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2003

I have bene worried about it too..but i keep reminding myself that my kids are older, and it should be "easier" in some ways..even thought this time around i won't have my husband to help me because he will be deployed, so I am freaking out a little about that.

My daughter will be one month shy of being 12 and my son will be 7... so i know i will be able to count on them, but only to a certain point..I will deliver in the summer..so that means that they will require more attention then when they are in school.

I haven't held a newborn or had to do anything baby related in what it seems a LOOONG time..and that is very scary to me..so just remember to take it one step at a time and that things definately happen for a reason.:)

HUGS

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2009

I am

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2007

::big hugs::

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