newborn "crying it out" to sleep unless held:(

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
newborn "crying it out" to sleep unless held:(
11
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 10:26pm

i KNOW your not supose to let a newborn "cry it out" (CIO)...but i don't know what else to do...

ds is ONLY happy when being held...i hold him almost all day long, and he's quite happy like this...but at night, i've GOT to sleep - i'm returning to work in 2 weeks (ds will only be 6 weeks old) which i'm NOT happy about (but thats a whole other story) - but i've got to sleep...and i can't sleep with him in my arms...i tried this for the first 2 weeks...and i was so tired i felt drunk from only sleeping 1-3 hours per night (and even that was in 30 min. increments)...so at 2.5 weeks old i started putting him in his crib...

this resulted in his crying for 5-20 minutes before falling asleep for 60-90 minutes, then wake up, feed him, put back down to repeat the cry/sleep cycle...

i'm still only sleeping 3 or so hours a night...i wait until 12am to put him in his crib - he wakes to eat around 2am feed - back to bed by 2:30/3am and then i'm up at 4am for the day...i wait until 12am to put him down because i don't want him to CIO all night long...but by 12am i'm so tired i could fall over...

needless to say i'm SUPER tired...and probably not real functional to work, but i doubt much will change in the next 2 weeks so at least 3 hours is better than 1 hour sleep per night...

i keep reading on the interent (GOd love it) that you should NEVER let a newborn younger than 4 months old cry like this, that he will be insecure, feel unloved, and be confused...but i don't know what else to do!

we've tried a co-sleeper (in arms reach that attaches to our bed), i've tried sleeping while hold him in bed, in a chair, on the floor...i don't know what else to do...

i can't "nap" when he does because i have two other kids who aren't old enought to care for themselves (7 and 5), and well...with returning to work in 2 weeks...well there's no napping there -

i'm also breastfeeding (well mostly pumping) so sleeping while someone else feeds him/holds him is not an option - plus my dh can't sleep with him either - he does help - but dh is only getting an hour or two more sleep than me...

suggestions welcome!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2005

Heather, that sounds terrible! I don't know how you manage! Is your son full out crying or just wimpering?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2009
Im with ya.. We startee lettn laila sleep in our bed. Switchng her to soy helPed. She actually is bfng alot more now. She is in this new lets stay up til midnight thng. Grr

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003

i did try quite a few of the suggestions...swaddling, car seats, bouncy seats etc...to no avail...

i think i give up...

sigh...

dr said he's not colic"ky" because he can be calmed...apparently "true" collic cannot be soothed no matter what you do (i think my 2nd ds had this/was like this)....

i just have a "needy" baby...

i have caved and began holding him all night again, i can't stand his crying...

returnig to work in 11 days...i will be working mon, tues, wed 7am-7:30pm...on no sleep this will be...well interesting...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2009
Laila sleeps on her belly too. We co sleep though. I spend mist the tume checkin on her.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Gosh I'm in the same boat. It's so frustrating. She always seems to be crying. I know she's gassy but I'm losing my mind. I never had this issue with my other two. She will only sleep at night if I'm holding her. Bouncy seat, swing, car seat--none of my tricks work. I did a major no no and put her tummy just now and she has been sleeping for 20 minutes!!!!! I won't do it through the night, but sometimes we have to do what we have to do. I hope your LO feels better soon and starts to self soothe so you can get some rest!!!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2009
Sounds like laila she is colicky its gotten better.. Hugs hope it gets better

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2009
Is he swaddled? My kids sleep way longer when swaddled with arms down to their sides. I also turn on a white noise machine for them. Would he sleep in the swing, carseat, or bouncer seat? DS used to sleep in his carseat when little as it wa the only way he would sleep. I agree with pp that it could be colic or reflux so I would talk with pediatrician.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2003
This sounds exactly like my oldest DS when he was a baby. He would only sleep if someone was holding him upright against their chest. He also hated to eat & spit up a lot. It turned out that he had bad acid reflux. The ped. prescribed pepcid for him which helped a little. Even if your DS isn't showing all those symptoms, it may be worth it to call your ped.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-19-2010
I feel your pain. Mishka did this up until she was 4 weeks old. We ended up putting her in bed with us ( I know this is controversial but we were going nuts). We found that tapping her helped and the crib made her feel isolated. Co-sleeping "worked" (she still cried but crying was more manageable and DH and I took turns "tapping). Then we stried to introduce the crib again but with one difference - we swaddled her. That seems to be working - is it perfect? No. But it gets us through ~5 hours or so a night.

Did you try the swaddle?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2011
it does sound like it maybe something that u need to discuss with a doctor to get him checked out. Could be acid reflux, colic or just spoiled.

Good luck, I hope that the baby only cries because he's spoiled.

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