Just curious (again!): how do you feel about people visiting L&D and your newborn?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2008
Just curious (again!): how do you feel about people visiting L&D and your newborn?
11
Mon, 06-27-2011 - 6:06am

When I had DD, the only person in the delivery room besides the midwife was DH. It was great - I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. My labor started at night and was fast (5 hours) so we didn't end up calling our parents to announce the birth until about an hour after she was born. I was only in the hospital for a day and my parents and MIL lived a couple of hours away, so the only visitor we had was my SIL. That was nice - she actually told us about her own pregnancy while she was holding my newborn! Even though I'm hoping for a homebirth this time, it's unlikely we'll get away with not calling until the baby is here as we're planning on having my MIL watch DD. She'll watch her at SILs house though - even though I like my MIL there is no way I want her anywhere near me while I'm in active labor! The only person I'll want with me apart from the midwife is DH

With DD, once we were home from the hospital, my Mum came to stay for a while which was great (personally, I have never needed my mother more than when I had my own baby). And the day after my Dad, plus my brothers and my MIL and FIL came over. That was a little much all at once. This time, I'm thinking about trying to hold my MIL off for a day or two - but I don't know if my DH will go for that. I know he'll want to introduce this LO to his family as soon as possible.

I do personally quite like the idea of limiting visitors but I think that it would likely cause too many hurt feelings for it to be a viable option for us. Plus, both my parents are MIL are fairly sensitive and wouldn't stay for hours.

So, what do you all think about visitors?

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2011
We called my parents when I was in labor, at the hospital, because we needed them to go to our house and let our dogs out and feed them breakfast. They then came right over to the hospital (because I had been preparing to push when we talked to them)...I ended up needing a c-section so when they arrived I was still in the labor room...so they came in which to this day has bothered me (I would have preferred to be totally alone with the doctor and even had my husband leave the room LOL). My mom just said something to me about it last week, basically asking that I not invite them in again...turns out that the nurses went out and got them without asking me!!! That won't happen this time!

After our son was born, both sets of parents showed up. My in-laws were awful...they wouldn't leave, wouldn't give me back our son...stayed for hours and hours and totally interfered with my attempts to nurse him. We currently don't have a relationship with them, so hopefully they'll stay away...which would mean only having my parents who are polite and reasonable in their stays...plus they'll have our son, so won't hang around long with him.

Once we're home, I didn't mind visitors as long as they kept their visits short (unlike my inlaws who came for 8 hours a day and demanded food!)...

My biggest issue is health related. I was not a worrier about germs with our son, but now that he and I are on our 6th week of whooping cough, and the baby I am carrying has a birth defect of the lung which makes him/her highly susceptible to lung infection until we're able to have surgery done, I don't want a bunch of people around...and NO ONE who is not up-to-date on HIB and pertussis will be allowed in my house...no ifs, ands or buts about that!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2005

With DS, my mom, DH and twin sister were in the delivery room. It didnt bother me at all, except my sister was kinda loopy bc she had just had a tubal done earlier the day before. With DD, MIL came over to watch DS as my water broke in the middle of the night. I called my mum and she met us at the hospital (which is what I wanted) and I called my dad and stepmom and let them no my water broke. I told them I would call when she was here or when it was

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2011
I called my parents and my ex-husband called his mom and her boyfriend on the way to the hospital with my ds. Everyone came up and set up camp in the L&D room. My labor was 47 hours, and everyone just hung out the whole time. Ex-husband and his mom's bf left several times, but everyone else was there driving me crazy for what felt like FOREVER. In the last 10 minutes when I started pushing, I had the nurse kick everyone out of the room except my ex-husband. But, then he left to go smoke what was supposed to be his "last cigarette" right as I was supposed to start pushing. When he got back, he had enough time to grab my leg and hold it up, as the baby came out. After that, everyone left before I even made it up to the hospital room, including the ex-husband (husband at the time). I spent the next 2 and half days in the hospital with the baby by myself. I actually really liked it - having all that time with just me and ds. when the hospital was trying to kick me out, my ex-husb finally showed up long enough to drive me and the baby home. And, I think my parents showed up too bc I wasn't sure ex-husb was going to come get us. My parents and his mom and bf visited a couple times. My parents stayed longer and longer when they realized that ex-husband would leave when they would leave, and I was stuck upstairs in our townhouse. It kinda sucked.

But this time, I think we'll let people visit once we're home. We still need to find someone to watch ds. But dh will be there with me through the labor. I don't want either of our sets of parents anywhere hear me during that. And only for short periods of time after, but I doubt theyll show up for a month or so after the baby is born. We'll just have to see. And, I'm still not talking to my parents, so I'm not sure what is going to happen with them.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2008

When I was in labor with DD, my husband called his family right away (they lived really close). They came in and out of the room a lot! They got really annoying. I held off DH calling my parents until after the birth, because they didn't live very close so it was pointless. I also wished they kept their visits shorter, and maybe more announced after the birth, in the hospital and at home. They would always come in when we were working on breast feeding. I am not a comfortable person with having others watch me breast feed, so DD didn't get fed a lot! I wish DH would have held out calling his family until after the whole ordeal, maybe I can get him to do that this time.



Lilypie - Personal picture
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Registered: 03-04-2004
My mom may or may not be here when he is born, she is flying out towards the end of August to stay with me since DH will be in the field. If she is here, she will probably stay at home with the dogs and wait to hear what is going on and DH would bring her back to the hospital when things settle. I don't mind if someone wants to visit when I am in the mother baby unit:)
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Avatar for alsatia23
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
I don't like visitors in the hospital. My parents will come and that's fine, because they've seen me look like crap before, but honestly, everyone else can wait 24-48 hours until I get home.






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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2011

This time around, I have no family locally (they are all over 1000 miles away!), so it's not an issue.

Lilypie Maternity tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2004

I refuse to let anyone into the room while I'm in labor other than DH and whatever medical professionals (nurses, OB, etc) need to be in there.

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Avatar for kierasmama
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Registered: 12-13-1998
I don't mind visitors after the baby is born. My parents and DH's parents live in the same town, about 30 minutes from us, so we actually feel very lucky that our families are so close by. And they are sensible people, lol, they keep the visits nice and short, and usually bring food! :)

I will be having another homebirth (my 3rd), so there will be no visitors until after the big event. For my past 2 homebirths, I invited my mother to be here during the birth in case we needed someone to be here for the younger kids. But now our older ones are teenagers and they can certainly handle the little ones if need be, so that is nice! I love my Mom dearly, and didn't mind her being here for the previous births, but I'd really prefer to have just the m/w and my dh/kids here! :)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2010
I'm still back and forth. My husband told my MIL that we weren't having visitors in the hospital at all. But, I think I've decided I'd rather have them in the hospital than at home...I'm worried that they'd come to our house and stay for hours and hours. Then again, I'm not really wanting anyone in the hospital either while I'll be working on BFing successfully this time. However, I will definitely want my parents to come with my oldest dd. I'm hoping not to be in the hospital long this time though. Last time, I was strep B positive so had to stay two nights even though I didn't want to. Also, my MIL came into the labor and delivery room like right after Anya was born. It was not okay and I've been angry about it ever since (at dh because we discussed that I didn't want anyone at the hospital until I'd showered...). This time, it'll depend when I give birth but no one will be invited to the hospital until we are well established in recovery at the very least.
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