Family Adoption

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
Family Adoption
13
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 9:30pm
My stepdaughter is pregnant and wishes to give the baby to my daughter. My daughter is unable to have children and is very excited! We need advice on where to start and is there some way to do some things ourselves in order to defray adoption fees. Also, the biological father has had nothing to do with my step daughter since finding out she is pregnant. She contacted him to let her know of her decision and now he has stated that he will try to get custody. He has left the state, has no job and has not offered any support. My husband and I have supported her mentally and physically. Luckily she is still covered by our insurance. We need advice and any info we can obtain. Any suggestions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-12-2008
In reply to: linmre
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 9:50am
How exciting for your family! - you still need to find a very good lawyer.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
In reply to: linmre
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 10:08am
Thanks so much, we have contacted an attorney so it seems we are on the right track. I guess I needed some reassurance! This is so nerve racking and my daughter has been disappointed so many times. Thanks again!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
In reply to: linmre
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 2:20pm

Hello,



We have been blessed with a beautiful son, thru the gift of adoption......a family adoption.



iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
In reply to: linmre
Tue, 09-14-2010 - 7:55pm
First, I want to say congratulations! Thank you so much for replying. My son-in-law contacted the birth father today just to introduce himself; they had not met and the birth father intends to press for custody. He is only 18 and has not been involved at all in any way with my step daughter since finding out about the pregnancy. My daughter is very disappointed but I told her to see the attorney and find out where we stand. We are just in the beginning stages. Did you have any similar issues? I am so glad things worked out for you and your family!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
In reply to: linmre
Wed, 09-15-2010 - 11:13am

Thankyou! We feel so blessed and grateful.......



It sounds like you are moving forward in the right direction. Your lawyer will be able to advise you on alot of things.



I'm wondering if the birthfather is still in school? Does he live at home and have the support from his family? How do they feel about him trying to get custody of the child?



I would love to visit with you. Would you be willing to email me personally? ladonna-h@hotmail.com .

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
In reply to: linmre
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 4:57am
The young man is only 18 and just graduated. He has had a little problem with his dad and has been kicked out of his home. He is now with his brother in Tennessee. To our knowledge he has no job; only that he says he is getting his life straight. He has had little or no contact since he found out about the pregnancy until he was kicked out of the house. I think he has good intentions but I don't think he realizes what he would be taking on responsibility wise. My stepdaughter is very bitter towards him because he has shown no cares about her or the baby until she told him her plan to give the baby up for adoption. His family has had no contact with us at all except when my stepdaughters mom went over to talk to them the day after we got the pregnancy news. I would like to put you in touch with my daughter. She needs the support of someone that has been through a family adoption. She has been unable to have children and this has been a dream come true for her until the biological dad has said he will not sign the consent. I will give her your email address. Thanks so much for your support and if you can give my daughter a little support it would make me feel better, She has been disappointed so many times.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
In reply to: linmre
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 9:01am

Hello,



The fact that the birthfather seems to have had no interest in the baby until now, makes me wonder if it's more of a "controll" thing, now that she has made the decision to place the baby for adoption. JMO



Of course, I would love and

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2010
In reply to: linmre
Thu, 09-16-2010 - 7:04pm

Mom you are the very bestest! Thanks for always being there for me love you bunches and bunches!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2010
In reply to: linmre
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 6:57pm

HI LaDonna,

Thanks for all your information. Kim sent me your birth story and it is wonderful! We have some same issues with our children as far as wondering what in the heck they were thinking of when they screw up; but you love them and support them and move forward. Kim is so appreciative of your advice and there were some great suggestions that we had never thought about. God will open doors in his time not ours( another of my mom's sayings) she is so wise!

THANKS!

Linda

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2010
In reply to: linmre
Fri, 09-17-2010 - 10:55pm

Hi Linda,



You are so very welcome! I just got thru speaking with her on the phone. We had a wonderful visit.



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