Frustrated.......and still waiting!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Frustrated.......and still waiting!
Sat, 04-19-2003 - 7:54pm
Ok, so the last time I posted, I had talked to the CW in Maryland, because she wanted to contact the CW here in NY. Well, let me tell you how THAT all went!

Over a week went by, and I heard absolutely nothing, even after leaving many many messages for people here in NY. Curiousity getting the best of me, I called the CW here and asked her if she had spoken with MD. Her response? (giggling)"Umm....I don't know!"(more giggling) You can probably imagine the amount of smoke that immediately began fuming from my ears!!!!! AND, the rest of the conversation went that way, too.

I then proceeded to tell her WHY Maryland was trying to contact her, and the information they needed. "Oh yeah, I remember getting a message from that lady. I figured she would call back." WHAT?!?! I go on!!!

She tells me that my homestudy is *complete* and in her supervisor's in-box. But get this...."We are stil waiting on two of your reference letters, so once we get those in I can add them to the homestudy to finish it off. Then my supervisor will tell me how "glorious" of a job I did, approve you, and send it off to ICPC." Ummmm......didn't she just tell me that it was already complete? If it's finished, how can she be WAITING on something?! ROFL

I told her that both of the families that we used as references had already sent their new letters in almost two weeks prior, and that she should already have them. She then proceeds to talk only halfway into the phone while looking for our file. Keep in mind, she only has two files she is working on right now!!! As she is looking, she tells me a hacked version/attempt at a name of one of our references (from memory). When I correct her, she says "Yeah, that's right......his letter is right here. Nope, wait a moment, it isn't. Oh, I know, I must have put it in my other case's file!"(giggle, giggle, giggle) WHAT?!?!?!?!????? Then, while still on the phone with me, she gets the other file, and at first tells me that it IS in there, but after filing thru some papers, admits that it is NOT there. "Oh well, I know that they MUST be around here somewhere, so once I find them I will add them to your homestudy and we'll be one our way! And I promise, I will do my best to call you once we have sent it off to ICPC."

O M G!! Did that conversation really just happen?!?! That was pretty much all I could think when I got off the phone with her!!! I was so furious that I couldn't even think straight, let alone ask to speak to someone with even an ounce of intelligence! I mean, if she misplaced papers, fine,whatever. DO NOT tell me that, tho!!!! LOL She just came across so completely incompetent during that phone call, I was blown away!

Once I regained myself, I called down to MD myself and spoke with our CW. She told me that she had left SEVERAL messages here in NY for this lady, but she never once returned any of them. So, I relayed everything I had just found out to her - better my info than none at all. She was very appreciative, and is hoping that the info gets started soon. Our 6-month grace period for the father is running out.......he was given custody back the day before Thanksgiving, so that would make it the end of May, right? UGH, this is getting VERY nerve-wracking!!!

Starting this coming week, I will be on the phone almost every day with my *CW* here in NY, pushing to get this all finished and sent off. I will seriously be stressing the weight of it all, too. I don't know what will happen if the 6-month point comes and goes. Since they are suspicious of things, would they just grant another 6-month watch period?? Guess that is something I could ask them, huh?!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-20-2003 - 8:25pm
Carrie -- your conversation that you had with the cw in ny sounds alot like the conversations that i used to have with our (useless) cw. we ended up going to our state ombudsman and had to change not only caseworkers, but also agencies, as her supervisor was just as bad. i'm so sorry that you have to go through this, but i whole heartedly agre that you need to attach the phone to your ear for the next week or so and make sure that this paperwork is completed. if ny has a state ombudsman, make certain that this person is reported and make alot of noise.

good luck and let us know what happens. prayers are going up for you!!!

ginny (mommy to twins, david & sara, 2 1/2 years)

Ginny (mommy to twins, David & Sara -- 5 years old)