Gracies birth mom . . .

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Gracies birth mom . . .
9
Sun, 10-17-2010 - 1:51pm

third time's a charm I hope!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2007
Sun, 10-17-2010 - 2:55pm

Sounds like mostly communication issues to me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2004
Sun, 10-17-2010 - 6:45pm

I think it may be a good idea to have a conversation with her right away, if not in person then over the phone when you can.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 10-17-2010 - 7:55pm
One thing I forgot to mention by the way .. one of the BIGGEST issues for this birth mom is SMI (severe mental illness) and she can become very aggressive. that was a side I NEVER saw in the nearly one year that Ive been working with her. I had read in the reports, and heard from the workers, but had never seen. My fear is that she is showing it to me now ... and thats the big reason Im nervous over this right now.

We live an hour away, so I cant just go and spend a half hour with her alone ... (its hard enough to find babysitters for all of Gracies frequent dr apts)

I AM going to call her tomorrow, to try and set up the birthday visit, but if she starts to argue with me over the phone, Im not sure what Im going to do at that point .... with the SMI, if I feed into the situation it'll only make things worse.

Open adoptions can be SO HARD with they begin as CPS cases .... because there are often REALLY STRONG reasons that the child should NOT have contact with the bio parent. I try hard to still keep some contact .... sigh, this is a hard one. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
Sun, 10-17-2010 - 9:42pm

I agree that open adoption with CPS cases can be very different than an open adoption under other circumstances for the reason that you mentioned and more.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 9:56am

jen

Photobucket

Avatar for olgafelton
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2003
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 12:03pm

My only advice is to not stress about it too much if it does not work to maintain contact. Like you said, being that Gracie was removed from her birth mom's care by CPS the openess issue is sooo different! She was put with you to be safe. If contact with her birthmom leads to an unsafe or even emotionally unsafe situation then it just can't be done.

Photobucket



Th
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 3:04pm

So, I just called (Its Monday, and I said Id call today) .. and she didnt answer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-26-2007
Mon, 10-18-2010 - 4:11pm

I think it's great that you want to maintain contact with your children's birthparents but mental illness can make some people's behavior unpredictable.

Photobucket

July 15, 2008 - Decided on Social Servi

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2009
Wed, 10-20-2010 - 7:45am
Hi! I don't have any advice or ideas, but I know that you're a phenomenal Mom and that you'll advocate for Gracie and her birthmother's relationship as much as you can within reason. I just wanted to say hi and good luck! Tiff
Photobucket