How much do you talk/focus on adoption?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2002
How much do you talk/focus on adoption?
25
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 2:42pm

Sarah's post about the I heart birthmom shirt made me think about this...and I also alluding to is in the "adoption wart" thread.

But how much do you talk or focus on adoption to people you don't know?
I mean obviously all of our friends and family know..but I mean people like strangers in the mall, the postal worker, etc.

This is what I mean....
We have friends who tell everyone that their DD is adopted.
It's like a strangers says "oh she is so beautiful!" and my friend will be like "thanks! she's adopted." She tells everyone...I mean constantly.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2007
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 3:17pm

Being that we've had our kids for 14 months before legal name changes happened, our circle of friends/family know our older 2 are adopted. We got a picture taken of all 4 boys when DH's oldest

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2008
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 3:57pm

I haven't adopted my boys yet but we try not to make a big deal that they are not our bio boys.

Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-16-2006
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 4:37pm
My oldest is adopted and strangely enough she looks more like me than my bio kids. Lots of people (complete strangers) say She looks just like you and I usually just smile and say thanks. I actually moved to a new town for a year and never told my neighbors she was adopted because it never came up. If I have a close friend and something about it comes up sometimes I share and sometimes I don't. Now that she is 9 I'm starting to think its her story to tell and not mine. I

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 5:14pm

As I've mentioned before, I've just always KNOWN, since

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 5:24pm
Well I try to talk to my daughter on occasion (she's only 2 1/2 so those conversations are usually short and sweet) but unless someone specifically brings it up I never say anything to strangers. She looks a lot like us so it adoption questions rarely come up unless they know us. I just don't want to give her a complex about it or make her feel different. I really think it's my daughters own business to tell whomever she wants so until she's old enough to make that decision herself I'll keep strangers out of it. While I think the adoption tee shirts are cute I'd never want her to advertise her status like that. That same etsy seller has a shirt that says "I am a miracle" and I'd be more inclined to go with something like that. That I heart adoption shirt would be a really cute shirt to take a picture and send to her birthmom though!


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March 2003 - started TTC

July 2006 - sent into packet into adoption agency

January 2007 - finally Approved!!!

May 2007 - met an emom at the agency who chose another family

July 2007 - formally matched w/ emom

October 2007 - our daughter is born :)

November 2007 - found out bfather was contesting. stuck in ICPC limbo for 3.5 months

Feb 2008 - court didn't go well for bfather and he voluntarily relinquished rights

Feb 2009 - finally had enough funds to pursue IVF treatments. scheduled to start in August.

June 2010 - surprised with positive pregnancy test!

January 2010 - our son is born :)






iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 5:26pm

Adrienne,


I was told a long time ago something that really stuck with me in regards to adoption.


 


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2010
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 8:32pm

I agree with you Adrienne, we are still in the "waiting" and I would use the T's for a photo shoot for a gift or something but when we adopt it will be her story to share not ours. But you could( I would) make your own T saying something like:

FAMILY(lat. familia) 1. group of people who live together under the same roof. The Father,Mother and Children. Family life. 2.Group of people united by blood, adoption, or marriage.

or

"Choose love"

Because you chose him?

P.S "Adoption is a process, not a label" Love that!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 8:40pm

I don't walk around advertising it.

Avatar for cl_troynkel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 9:29pm

Just like Adrienne indicated, we are VERY proud of the fact that adoption gave us our kiddos and we are very open about it.

UVA 2010 siggie


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-19-2007
Wed, 08-04-2010 - 10:07pm
That's really interesting. Of course, I don't yet have any idea of what it's like to have a child come to us through adoption, but when it does happen, I'm guessing Ill be along the same lines as you. I wouldn't want my (adopted) child to feel any different or any less then my bio son. I remember hearing somewhere that someone with some bio children and some adopted children saying something like "yeah, we have 2 (?) adopted children...but i can't remember which ones they are"
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