lady found who wants to adopt out baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2010
lady found who wants to adopt out baby
Sun, 09-05-2010 - 8:00pm


I have found a 21 year old lady who would like my husband and I to adopt her baby. Has anyone heard of pre birth termination of rights? How much the process may costs? And if the father has to be involved and sign off if he can't be found?


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-02-2003
Mon, 09-06-2010 - 1:07am

You need to find yourself a qualified triple A adoption attorney... you can look them up for your state here.

You can adopt privately with an attorney or can find an agency to facilitate the adoption. The latter is more expensive, but can be helpful with regards to offering counseling services and support with caseworkers around the time of birth, managing birthmother expenses if there are any. There are both pros and cons about either.

I believe there are only a small handful of states that allow a birthfather to sign termination papers pre-birth. I don't know of any that allow this for a birthmother. And really, you wouldn't want that anyway.

Yes the birthfather needs to be involved. Last thing you want is to get that baby home with you and find out the birthfather refuses to sign relinquishment or wants to parent. Each state has different legal requirements for birthfathers that can't be found, or are not identified. Some have paternity registries, some advertise through publishings for a certain time. An attorney that does adoptions through your state will be able to give more specific answers.

Good luck!


March 2003 - started TTC

July 2006 - sent into packet into adoption agency

January 2007 - finally Approved!!!

May 2007 - met an emom at the agency who chose another family

July 2007 - formally matched w/ emom

October 2007 - our daughter is born :)

November 2007 - found out bfather was contesting. stuck in ICPC limbo for 3.5 months

Feb 2008 - court didn't go well for bfather and he voluntarily relinquished rights

Feb 2009 - finally had enough funds to pursue IVF treatments. scheduled to start in August.

June 2010 - surprised with positive pregnancy test!

January 2010 - our son is born :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2002
Tue, 09-07-2010 - 1:52pm

A birthmom can't sign until after the baby is born-- and each state varies.
Some make her wait 3 days to make sure she is thinking clearly.
There needs to be some attempt to locate the birthfather as well.

You should contact a lawyer to find out what the process is.

This sounds very promising! I found a bmom on my own and it didn't work out for US, but she did place-- so it "worked."

Are you with an agency? If not and you are just using a lawyer, you might want to look into getting her counseling. I really think any potential bmom needs it before and after. Most agency will offer that service even if you aren't listed with them-- you can hire them just for that service.

Good luck and keep us posted!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2010
Fri, 09-10-2010 - 9:36pm
We met the mother to be today and found out that she is married to her 2 1/2yr old sons dad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Sat, 09-11-2010 - 12:22am
I'm glad the meeting went well!


mollycopy-1.jpg picture by moviemakermom

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2005
Sat, 09-11-2010 - 10:40pm

Hi there! I am in Ohio too. Legally, since they are married, the husband is the father of the baby. So, birthmom and husband will need to sign 72 hours after birth. In Ohio, there is a 72 hour waiting period for the TPR to be signed. The baby will stay in the hospital for the 72 hours, and then once TPR is signed, the baby can go home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2007
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 2:07pm

Our son's situation was similar, and in FL, the husband had to sign as the legal father, and bio dad had to sign/have rights terminated by the court as well.

P&PT for smooth sailing for you!

Deb, mom to Evan, 9/2007, and Morgan, 7/29/10, waiting for finalization.
Deb, mom to Evan, 9/2007, and Morgan, 7/29/10, waiting for end of revocation 8/9, and finalization 8/20.