need some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2007
need some advice
1
Sat, 08-18-2012 - 7:17pm

My husband and I are filing a TRO and eventual permanent custody order for my SIL's children who are 3 and 7.  My husband and I have a 4 and 10 year old.  We fully expect to get these kids quickly and know practically what we need to do (health checks, obtain paperwork for schooling, furniture and car needs).  What we are terrified of and need advice on is what problems will our family deal with?  These children have never spent a lot of time with us, but their grandparents are unable to take  on the load and the SIL doesn't see her crystal meth usage and manufacture as a "problem" since she loves her kids and they are fed, clothed, and clean.  The oldest has started acting out violently and the youngest has been raised with no rules at all.  We want this to be as smooth as possible with as little stress as possible to our current children.  Helpful advice is much appreciated.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2008
In reply to: ejbf
Sun, 08-19-2012 - 2:19pm
Welcome! This sounds like a private arrangement. If this is the case I would suggest setting up an appointment with a therapist. They can help you to deal with the aggression and other issues that may come up. They can also help set up additional services if needed. If this is not a private arrangement then the agency that is placing the children would be able to assist you in getting services set up. You can also look into having the county involved if you are a private arrangement but would like the support and assistance of a agency. In pa you can have a private arrangent moved over to the county and become licensed foster parents and then become eligible for a stipen to care for the children, medical assistance for the children and they will oversee visitation It is hard to say exactly what you should expect as every child reacts differently. Prepare your children the best you can. Try to make your SIL children as comfortable as possible. It may take a while to get them used to your family structure and rules so take it slow and pick your battles. As time goes on they will become familiar with how your family works and what the rules are. It sounds like it will be a big change for them as well as for your children. Good luck!
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