New Here --

Welcome to the board and possibly, the journey of adoption. I'll add a little of the same info to Ginny's post since I too am adopting through the county, here in California. I researched ALOT before making this very big decision and international wasn't really an option because of money too. Also, it's a lot of unknown. I'm very pro-county right now. I'm single, jumped through the hoops, went to the classes and got licensed to foster (in the adoption program here you have to be licensed first.) I waited 9 months from that point and 3 months ago I got the call that my little girl was ready for me. If you're worried that 'state children' are only older, drug exposed, or full of problems, don't. My daughter was 10 months old and perfect. I have many friends that have also adopted infants and toddlers with little or no baggage. The laws have changed quite a bit in recent years so when I got the call, the mother's services had been terminated already so the risk of return is very low. Her rights will be terminated next month. There are issues and it's stressful, but when you've gone through as much you already have, it will probably feel like a piece of cake!

My biggest suggestion is to read all you can, ask lots of questions, and check out different agencies, private or state. The 'right' path will then be very clear and when you meet your child the wait will seem like nothing. Good luck and godspeed. - Susan

Glad to help! By the way, I'm 41, single AND got placed within a year. With my county, you tell them how open you want/don't want the adoption. Mine is closed. The birth family has seen me due to a couple of visits with the baby, but they don't know my name or address - everything is handled through the county office. If you get a good social worker they'll be straight about your level of risk and just be sure to ask all the questions you can think of. There's an appeal period after termination of rights but they have to go through the hoops. Birthparents aren't able to 'reclaim' their child without a heck of a fight once they're in the system. Good luck - Susan

Missy - Thanks for the reality check. I've been so giddy about my daughter and the relatively smooth transition that I forget that it's not like that everywhere. Even in the next county over they have more obstacles than where I'm at. I feel even more blessed. Newcomers should know all the facts - pro or con. Thanks again - Susan:-)

Hello! You have been getting some very good advice. One gal suggested Catholic Social Services (CSS) and I would have to second her recommendation. They, of course, are a free service and you don't have to be Catholic. We are currently registered with them in South Dakota and we are Luthern. They are very, very kind and helpful. Totally non-judgemental. Through them you can get medical assistance if you need it also. You can also contact anyone of the offices throughout the United States. They tend to adopt out in the area where you register, so if you live in a small area and don't want that chance of running into the family you adopt out to, I would suggest going out of the area. Also, they do a very thorough (is this how you spell this?) job of selecting prospective families. A background check is done along with an intensive homestudy. They are wonderful people. I hope I have been a little helpful. I know this is extremely overwhelming and the more you think about it the more confusing it is. I would have to say I would caution against some of the websites you are looking at. Please be careful. One thing to consider is that many of these agencies are making a huge amount of money. One private agency we checked with wanted $24,000 for adoption fees. Now, you and I both know it doesn't cost that much to put a child in a home. CSS is non-profit so their fees are very low. If you have any questions, I would be glad to help. If you would like the number to CSS I could get that for you. Good luck. You are in my thoughts and prayers!