TPR was today, and an update.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2002
TPR was today, and an update.
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 6:43pm
Today was the TPR hearing. Our lawyer said all went well and b-parents rights are terminated.
I am very relieved,
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 8:46pm

oh I have been there done that with the awkward mom/birth mom situation ... we were at a visit with Maya's birth mom in May, and I had to go get a drink of water ... I was still within sight BUT ... Maya freaked out ... she kept saying Mommy mommy mommy over and again, and her birth mom picked her up and said "Im here baby, mommy is here" .... nope, not what Maya wanted .... I got back, Maya jumped out of bmom's arms and into mine and calmed down. it was really hard to deal with, because this was the first time BMOM had been able to really realize how bonded Maya and I are.

a week later, she was supposed to begin trial to fight TPR... she decided not to fight anymore, and relinquished her rights.

anyways .... Congratulations on TPR! and yes, dont stress too much over b-gma ... we ALL know how its going to turn out! :) and your son will stay right where he is ... with YOU. :)


Avatar for cl_troynkel
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 9:40pm

Almost all aspects of adoption are bittersweet and sounds like your visit on Tuesday was no different.

UVA 2010 siggie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 10:21am

Hey Adrienne.

On the baby crying everytime you leave the room - I can totally relate. Devin is totally stuck on me, if Daddy's there, Grandma, Auntie... anyone! he completely loses it when I walk out the door in front of him, even if I tell him a million times I'm coming right back. They're pretty close in age, so I'm guessing it's a phase. In your case, I'd call it a blessing that he feels so secure with you!

About BM getting upset, it's hard. Really hard. You knew it would be and so did she. C & A saw me bawl my eyes out at the end of our first 3 visits. I know it was hard for them to see me so upset, but I swear it gets better! I think it's a little different for her too, in the case that she's spent a whole year with your little man. I was mommy to L for 3 weeks, so a lot less time.

About BGM, I don't have any experience, but it would seem dumb if the courts removed R from your home to go to her home at this point. Plus the poor record she has. I know it has you feeling uneasy, but it sounds highly unlikely. Do you have a date for when this is happening?

Yay for R learning to walk! Devin just learned recently too, it's awesome but it has taken his attitude to a whole new level, yikes!

leighton.gif image by cheerios2004
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2003
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 10:25am

Oh, Adrienne, that would just break my heart.

Cheryl, Mom to 3 year old Aeryn via adoption, TTC since 2003 and finally pregnant via Donor Egg!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 1:53pm

I am so happy that TPR has been granted.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2009
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 3:31pm

Hi Adrienne. I'm glad to hear about the TPR... I know that will be a big weight off your shoulders. I know that the BGMA thing is stressing you out, and there is no sense to tell you not to, because it's totally understandable that it would. But I agree with the other ladies who think that it is extremely unlikely that it would be a problem in the long run.

As for Riley and the BM... sooooooo hard. It's great that he identifies you as mommy and clearly is so strongly bonded to you and Dave. But it must have been heart breaking for the BM. And for you! I had a hard enough time just meeting our BMom once... sobbed like a baby. I think it's just one of those moments that we have to accept and embrace the emotional pain, because it shows that we are emotional human beings, and that it part of what makes us who we are.

Liz, married to Mike, mommy to Sammy

Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2002
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 5:46pm
Sarah and Cheryl,

To answer your questions....b-grandmom filed the petition to adopt.
Our lawyer says nothing can be done until our agency is finished all of our post placements visit and we formally can adopt him and fill out the petition to adopt.
I guess it's all a formality...but in PA the a-family needs
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 8:14pm


I think it is crazy that family does not have to do a homestudy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2007
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 8:54pm


I've been following your story with Riley via lurking. I don't usually have time to post. I also live in PA. We are adopting our 2 foster children this month. (7/20). Long story short- for relatives here to become kinship they have to have a homestudy. (this is after a child has been placed in the foster care system). Bio grandfather wanted our boys, and couldn't pass what he needed to for them to be placed with him.