Great comeback!! i often think of a good one after the fact but when the comment is actually made, I am just too flabbergasted to respond well!
I recently had a 'friend" say, "oh, I bet if Emma's mother new how healthy she was going to turn out, she'd want her back." Ugh!!!
Emma's birth family did not make an adoption plan because she was born with a congenital heart defect. Actually, they made the plan BEFORE Emma was born and the defect discovered. And, though we live far apart, we keep in monthly contact and they KNOW and can see how well she is doing and are thrilled!
People REALLY need to think before they speak!!
It's funny, because I know I've had some doozies, but Thursday was one of the most interesting. I was a fabric store, and the lady commented on how beautiful Sofi is, then asked her nationality, then asked if she was adopted. I said yes, because she sounded well meaning... but then she asked if she could speak English. Um, well... she can't speak any language because she's a BABY....
That one kind of floored me, and then she went on to tell me about this Indian guy she was engaged to in college (she's in her 50's now). It was a weird conversation at best, but she was cutting my fabric, so I had to stand there. So strange!
I was at the grocery store with my former foster son, who is AA. he was not quite 1 and a half. He was sitting in the cart all happy as can be while we were going down the isles. an older woman came up and coo'd at him ... he grinned back really wide. then, she turned to me and said "Oh he's so adorable! Where did you GET him?"
ok, so a very white mom and a very AA child does NOT MEAN that I "GOT" him anywhere!
I KNEW by the way she said it exactly what she meant ... but, I was annoyed as heck with the comment, so I responded "Isle 6. they are having a special!" and then walked off.
July 15, 2008 - Decided on Social Service Adoption then spent 3 months paying off all my billsOctober 14, 2008 - Submitted agency application January 20, 2009 - Homestudy home visitMarch 5, 2009
July 15, 2008 - Decided on Social Servi
I've gotten the "she's so beautiful"
Well... had I seen this post before this evening, I would have said the father of one of the kids on Sammy's Little League team who saw me every week at practice for weeks, and when we suddenly showed up with Eliana said, "Were you pregnant and I didn't notice?" That comment is truly dumb.
Or the girl who tried to reassure me that Eliana would look more like me when she gets older because her skin will get lighter. Again, dumb... but well intentioned.
HOWEVER, if you mean hurtful and ridiculous and rude (as all of the previous responses are) then I think this evening takes the cake. We were at a family party with several people who had not yet met Eliana. Mike's great aunt was commenting that it was great that we were able to get her so young "because they usually try to get rid of the older ones first." Get rid of?????
So, it totally wasn't worth getting angry about it because she's in her 90's, and we see her once or twice a year, and there were all these people there. So, I just explained that we had used an agency that does mostly infant adoptions, that you are more likely to adopt an older child if you go through the foster system or adopt internationally, that her wonderful birth mother had chosen us, and that yes, we were very happy that she came home so soon.
Of course, just because I resisted the urge to yell at her doesn't mean that the night did not end without yelling... the party concluded with two relatives screaming at each other about a long-standing family feud in a parking lot with everybody else staring at them like they were crazy. Nice.
I think I've heard all of the ones mentioned before, to some degree.
I have had many ignorant comments (which BTW, I don't get react to NEARLY as bad anymore because I know people usually mean well, they just don't always know how to phrase things very well)
But hands down the DUMBEST comment that I've gotten TWICE was-
"Where did you adopt your son from?"
"Oh is he Amish?"
LOL, how does one respond to that???!!! Because ALL people from PA are Amish? And Amish are KNOWN for placing their kids for adoption?? Are there are a lot of AA Amish people out there that I don't know about??? lol
OMG, I just said "No" and moved on quickly! People! HA!