Already weaning?

Avatar for mom2carteranddelanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Already weaning?
11
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 10:15am

Hello ladies. I have had so many issues with my 7 1/2 month old DS and nursing/eating that I could take up a whole page just explaining. I'll try to summarize as best as possible to get to my question. Since he was 3 weeks old, I have had trouble getting DS to nurse (not an issue with latch or him knowing how to nurse, he just didn't want to eat unless he was really sleepy). The doctors determined he has reflux (as did my other two children at his age) and sent me to a specialist. She put him on Zantac, then Prilosec (which he is still taking). Although I agree that he probably does have reflux, this still, in my opinion, doesn't entirely explain why we have had so much trouble getting him to eat. He doesn't act upset when I'm trying to get him to eat - he just doesn't want to eat. As I mentioned, this has been going on for a long time now.

I went back to work three months ago and he has not taken a bottle or a sippy cup in spite of daily efforts(my DH may get him to drink an ounce or so over the course of the whole day and he mixes about 2 oz of BM into his cereal-he won't drink BM, water or juice out of a sippy cup or bottle). However, even on the days when I am at home (Fri, Sat and Sun), I have trouble getting him to nurse during the day and often he won't nurse but a minute or two before nap times if at all. The doctors had us start him on solids at four months old because of how much trouble we were having getting him to nurse or take a bottle/sippy cup. He currently eats 3x a day cereal plus meat/fruit/veggies combos which he sometimes eats without incident and other times whines and protests the whole time we feed him. The only time he has been nursing well over the past 6 months is before bed, once in the middle of the night and in the early morning before I go to work (5:30 a.m.). So, basically, he is only nursing 3x a day (I used to try to feed him as soon as I got home from work but he wouldn't eat so I finally gave that one up). With all this effort of feeding him, he is still barely hovering above the 15% in weight and 25% in height (At 2 months he was in the 50% in weight and has gone down slowly since that time. He has been steady at about 15% for the past month and a half).

Just when I think we're in a pattern and even though I'm working full time and haven't slept through the night in 7 1/2 months and have to pump 3x a day at work I can handle it, he keeps trying to change things up on me. Now, I am having increasingly more problems getting him to nurse at night. Last night, he ate okay before bed but I had to put him to bed, let him sleep for an hour, then get him up while he was really sleepy to feed him. He then woke up around 3 (later than usual) and I tried to feed him. He ate on one side for 2 - 3 minutes then he wanted to talk and play. I tried for about 5 minutes to get him to eat, including switching sides, but he would have nothing to do with it. I put him back to bed and tried again at 5:30. Same thing. I got him to eat on one side for about 5 - 6 minutes before he stopped eating. I am SOOO frustrated. He is not upset when trying to eat, he just doesn't want to eat and, as you know, you can't make a baby eat.

So, I am really concerned that he is weaning himself at night and then he won't be nursing at all. Since he doesn't take a bottle/sippy cup, I don't even have an option to try formula. What do I do???? What happens if he won't nurse anymore and he won't take a bottle or sippy cup? His diaper output has been okay - he still has a few wet diapers during the day (DH says he changes him about 3x - 4x a day and he is usually wet although not soaking) and when he was eating well at night, I'd change him usually after his 5:30 a.m. feeding or else his diaper would be so wet when he woke up that it would leak. Since he's not eating as much at night, I haven't had to change it (my DH changes it first thing when he wakes up). He has had some issues with having harder poos and not having bowl movements more than every other day. The doctor just put him on a stool softener.

Sorry the post is so long but I am so worried about my little guy. He is developing well (almost crawling, "talks" a lot, plays with toys etc.) but I am concerned that his weight % will drop again and that he won't be getting the nutrition he needs with drinking so little BM.

Tarah
DS, Carter, 6 1/2
DD, Delanie, 4 1/2
DS, Cole, 7 1/2 months

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2003
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 10:29am
Hi Tara,
I don't have an answer for you as my ds is only 5 months but I wanted to send support. Someone who knows something will be here soon to help you!
Holly
Holly
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 12:58pm

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/babyselfwean.html

It seems that maybe the solids have something to do with it. Notice that your baby nurses more when he doesn't have a tummy full of solids, like right before bed, in the middle of the night and morning. At your babies age, most of their nutrition needs to be from breastmilk. I would personally cut back on the solids and nurse more, keep on trying with different cups and bottles. Best wishes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 2:16pm

It really bugs me when doctors suggest giving solids because of weight gain issues. Breastmilk has far more fat in it that just about any solids (avocado being the exception, I believe). I agree with the pp. Cut back on solids, nurse BEFORE solids, offer to nurse as often as you can, maybe do some cosleeping if you're not already to encourage night nursing. dd went through a phase when she wasn't all that interested in nursing and rarely iniatiated a nursing session on her own. From the reading I've done, it seems that babes under two have a hard time completely controlling the nursing relationship...they get distracted and forget to ask to nurse. It's NOT weaning, it's just a natural lull in nursing. Here's more info about self-weaning: http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/babyselfwean.html

This link might be applicable in your situation: http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/distractible-baby.html

Hang in there!! My dd picked back up on nursing and asking more herself when she was around 14 months.

Sheri
Reese (12-22-04)
Eli (7-13-06)

An afterthought about the shortened sessions...when babies get older they do get more efficient at nursing. That could be why he's nursing for a shorter time at night, but maybe some of the experts here can confirm that thought. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2005
Tue, 09-19-2006 - 2:17pm

Sorry...I had a thought about the sippy cup/bottle thing too. Can dh or your caregiver try letting ds drink from a cup? At his age, he would need a lot of help (probably won't hold the cup on his own, etc), but it might work. dd was like that too...she wouldn't drink out of a sippy cup until she was older, but would drink from a cup.

Take care!

Avatar for mom2carteranddelanie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 9:56am

Thank you ladies for your replies. I really don't feel it is the solids having an impact. His issues with nursing started at 3 weeks but he still managed to gain weight up until the 2 month mark when his weight % started to slip (as I mentioned from 50% to 15%). It has been a struggle to get him to nurse ever since. I feel like I am always "forcing" him to eat (which, again, doesn't work a lot of the time). I have to basically "trick" him into nursing by nursing him only when he is really sleepy and letting him nurse to sleep. I know that's not a good idea but otherwise, I can't get him to nurse at all. He just pulls away and acts disinterested. That was working for a while but now it's not so much.

Given that his weight was slipping and I had done everything that I could to get him to nurse, it was something of a relief to be able to give him some solids - mostly rice cereal mixed with BM - at just over 4 months old. I thought things were going okay until I went back to work when he was 4 1/2 months old. That's when we realized he wasn't going to take a bottle (or sippy cup). I had tried giving him bottles while I was on leave after pumping but the kid just flat out didn't want to eat - nursing or bottle - and I had to focus on one or the other so I focused on the nursing. As I mentioned in my earlier post, even when I am home on the weekends, I can't get him to nurse well if at all during the day. I do try nursing him first but he'll have nothing to do with it so I'll feed him solids then try to nurse him before naps when he was sleepy.

Before the last couple of weeks, he was doing pretty well at the 3 evening/night/early morning feeds so I felt like between the BM in the cereal, the little bit (1 oz or so) that my DH was able to get him to drink during the day (and maybe 1 decent nursing session during the day on weekends), and the 3 night feeds, we were doing okay. He was maintaining his weight but it was taking the 3 solid meals plus the 3 night feeds. Now, he is eating terrible at night. Last night, I barely got him to eat on one side for about 5 minutes each during each of the three feedings. I tried and tried but he just wouldn't latch on - wanted to talk - and if I tried to force it he'd try. I don't know what's changed as he seems to be getting the same amount of solids as he has for at least the last month only now he's having the night eating problems. I realize he may be more efficient now but it still doesn't seem like enough. From the beginning of the nursing session, he is distracted and is not sucking as much as he normally would.

We do give him some water and/or juice between meals or sometimes at meals if he won't take the BM because the doctors are concerned about him staying hydrated and moving stools with as little as he drinks (he has had hard stools and strained movements and doctor says its because he's not getting enough to eat). However, he doesn't drink either the water or the juice any better than the BM. In other words, the only thing he will eat is solids. I am at a loss. I read the links saying babies this age don't wean themselves and while I believe that to be true this just doesn't make sense. What baby doesn't want to eat????? I am not planning on giving up but I just want to know what happens if he isn't getting much to any BM. Will this have impacts on his development? I know it may impact his weight but what are the risks of him not getting enough BM on his brain?

Sorry to vent. I am just so frustrated. I feel like I am rushing his baby time because I want to get past the point where I have to worry so much about his eating.

Tarah

P.S. He did have an upper GI early on when they were ruling out other problems when diagnosing him with reflux but the doctor hasn't thought he needed any other tests since then.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2006
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 12:00pm

It's never a bad idea to nurse your little baby to sleep. My niece who was completely bottlefed only took a bottle when she was really sleepy.

They did decide to treat her for an oral aversion ... don't know if it was necessary or not really because it didn't improve her eating any (she's now 5). She really is just a light eater/skinny kid. But she's healthy.

Remember to look at the baby and not the scale. If the baby is meeting milestones and is healthy/happy despite falling on the growth curve, he's most likely quite fine.

Babies with reflux do tend to gain weight slowly as time goes on. I suspect that the drop from 50th percentile to 15th percentile really wasn't that big of a deal. My own DD fell from 25th percentile to 5-10th percentile (4 months) and 0-5 percentile (6 months) to not even on the curve after her 1st birthday. BUT, no one was every particularly concerned because she is healthy (obviously), exceeding most milestones for her age, and she is following her own growth curve (if you plot her weight gain on it's own curve it's easy to see that it's nice smooth even though if you plot it against the standard curve it looks like she's losing ground. She's not. She just isn't gaining weight as rapidly as other babies, but she's clearly gaining weight normally for her).

Did you look at the growth curve of your son or is the doctor only comparing his weight to the standard curve. Also keep in mind there is a completely different curve for breastfed babies, which most doctors don't use (they almost all use the ones that include a majority of formula-fed babies).

HTH!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-17-2006
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 12:39pm


just wondered if you have tried using a straw with a cup?
my boys didn't do well with the sippy cups, but they took to straw drinking really well, you just cut a regular straw so its shorter.

also, have you had the baby's tongue checked to make sure its not tongue tied?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2005
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 2:39pm

Another thing to consider is whether or not the doc is using a breastfed baby growth chart or a ff baby growth chart. There's a difference in how babies gain weight when they are breastfed. Also, was the same scale used to weigh your babe, and the same circumstances (ie clothes off, diaper off)? Scales can really vary in weights.

Have you tried nursing in a dark room during the day? I agree with the pp who suggested nursing to sleep (or at least trying it). Babies get so distractable! Have you talked to a lactation consultant about anything else you can try?

Honestly, I would seriously cut back on the solids and nurse a ton. Can you take some time off work to just focus on nursing to get things back on track, and then introduce a bottle/sippy cup? Take baths together, cosleep topless, maybe take a weekend and just hang out in bed nursing.

Hang in there!!
sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2004
Thu, 09-21-2006 - 1:12pm


While I think you should still cut back on solids, the rice cereal needs to be stopped. This is one of the most constipating of the solids. I have also read that constipation can make you feel sick to your stomach and not feel like eating.

LLL suggests this progression when introducing your baby (6 months or older) to solid foods:

Ripe banana, avocado, yam, or sweet potato (sweet like breastmilk)
Meats
Whole-grain breads and cereals (rather than baby cereals)

Fresh fruits

Vegetables
Dairy products after 9 months

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Fri, 09-22-2006 - 1:18am

Is AF lurking? I know this happened for the first few months AF returned. My DD was refusing to nurse as much. I don't know if it was the taste, supply or what. When AF was gone, she was nursing again as normal. Just a suggestion. I hope you find a solution!

Jen



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