To wean or not to wean...Dilemma

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
To wean or not to wean...Dilemma
4
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 12:18pm

DS is going to be 2 in another 3 weeks and is still nursing ATLEAST 5 times in the night and probably twice or once during the day and it is starting to drive me crazy. Also he has developed such a strong bond with me and if I am around he shows a very clear priority to be with me and it is starting to drive DH crazy and he thinks it is because DS is still nursing.

So any tips on weaning at this point ? I can see that it will be totally devastating to DS if I go cold turkey and I am going to start cutting down with the day time sessions, any pointers about the night weaning ?


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 3:04pm

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I going to suggest that your problem is not nursing in and of itself but rather how often he is still nursing. I think that of you could cut back on the nursing sessions then you would feel less desire to wean completely. I think that if he is still nursing 5 times at night and several times per day that he is clearly not ready to completely wean at this point. I would focus on cutting out some of his nursing sessions, particularly the night feedings.



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I would not assume that if you wean completely at this point that your son would want to be with DH more. I think that as your son grows older that he will show more of a desire to hang around with dad and do "guy" stuff. Hopefully DH can recognize that this is phase his son is going through and not necessarily a product of the fact he is still nursing. I can understand how difficult it must be for him when his son seems to want to spend a lot of time with mommy over him but I'll bet this will change as he gets older.



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Here is some advice from Kellymom on night weaning:

http://kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning-night.html

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-25-2006
Wed, 09-16-2009 - 10:18pm

Almost 2?! Oh my goodness!


I had to night-wean Hannah pretty early...about 14 months. We just had DH take care of her for a few weeks. It was a pain for him, because he had to be up with her when he wasn't used to it, having the work the next day, etc. But, eventually, she was fine.


It didn't happen overnight; it was definitely a process. If she would NOT settle down, I definitely nursed her. But, as it went on, she would settle better for DH.


I can't recall...is DS in the room or bed with you? Is he in his own room?


ETA: Charleen gave some great info and made some really good point. Weaning isn't going to change DS's personality or his love for his mama ;)



 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2008
Thu, 09-17-2009 - 10:38am

Thank you Charleen and Theresa, May be I will be OK if he cuts down his nursing sessions. We are co-sleeping and that definitely seem to help better than putting DS in his own bed for me to get some sort of rest.

I was just having a talk with DH about night weaning and we are going to give it a try one more time. This probably will be our 6th time we are trying to night wean :). Wish us luck!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 10:56am

I totally agree that your ds isn’t going to do better with Dad just by weaning. Dad is the one who needs to make the effort. As Dad interacts with the toddler more, weaning will become easier, usually not the other way around that the toddler weans and then develops a closer relationship to Dad.