2 Weeks In- Wanting to Quit

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2012
2 Weeks In- Wanting to Quit
14
Sun, 10-28-2012 - 2:08pm

Hi Everyone, I wanted to say you all are the strongest women in the world!

I am two weeks into pumping exclusively. My baby boy would not latch at the hospital. I left with a breast shield. Then the doctor said he would not gain weight properly on that alone. We have seen two LC multiple times and he is going to chiropractor for unaligned jaws. Possibly looking at a frenulim clip in a week. But am worried he’ll never latch onto just me because of the bottle. 

Since I have to go back to work in 3mos, and planed to pump then, I decided to start pumping now and bottle-feed. No big deal right? WRONG! I feel so overwhelmed and anxious all the time. I pump every 2-3 hours for 15-20 minutes. My supply is low, sometimes I don’t get enough for the next feeding. He gets a few formula bottles a day. My husband is taking another unpaid week off work. But will have to start working 12-hour days soon. I am afraid I might lose my mind then!

We tried so long for our baby, and now I feel like I’m not enjoying this life because I’m constantly worried about my supply or I’m exhausted from getting up every two hours to feed THEN PUMP. I feel awful for wanting to quit so soon. But everyone keeps telling me a happy mom=happy baby. How do I deal with guilt if I decide to stop??

So Torn Frown

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2011
Fri, 12-07-2012 - 11:39am

Congrats on making it to 7 weeks.  My original goal was to pump for 1 year.  Then when I realized how hard it was I changed my goal to be 6 months.  In the end I pumped for 14 months and had 2-3 months milk in the freezer (I would have had much more but I donated two times to clean out my freezer).  It does get easier as the time goes on!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2012
Sun, 12-02-2012 - 7:19pm

Thank you for the support! I would have never thought when I posted this originally I would have made it to week 7. (and with a freezer full of milk already) I have fallen in to a pretty good routine, and am actually out producing my son’s appetite. I pump every three hours get no less than 6 ounces. I go a little longer at night usually between 4 and 6 hours depending on when he gets up and get almost 10 ounces. I try to coordinate a feeding a pumping. Some days I feel like I could do it for the whole year and others I hope to make it through my maternity leave. I am hoping to drop pumps when I go back to work. I would love to get down to 5 or less a day and none between 11-5am. Just hoping it doesn’t kill my supply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2012
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 1:34pm

Congrats on deciding to try pumping.  I did it for 4 months with my first son, now aiming to get thru the flu season with my 2nd.  I've been at it for 5 months now and have a pretty good routine but establishing it did take some time.

My advice is to listen to yourself & make sure you have a really good pump!  (it really does make all the difference).  If pumping so often is too draining (trust me, it is!) then just decide that you will do it on YOUR terms and be OK with supplementing with formula.  That's what I did for the first 4 months.  Now I make enough to cut out the formula.  You need rest & less stress. 

Trust yourself and know that even a bottle or 2 of breastmilk per day is beneficial.  You're doing a great job and there's nothing wrong with being frustrated!  And certainly nothing wrong with doing both breastmilk and formula.  :)  Hang in there! 

(my story...I have 2 boys one 2 yrs old (i pumped for 4 months with him) and a 5 mo old.  I plan to pump through flu season (April).  I pump 3 or 4 times per day and never in the middle of the night.  We all need our rest!!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2012
Mon, 11-12-2012 - 1:33pm

Congrats on deciding to try pumping.  I did it for 4 months with my first son, now aiming to get thru the flu season with my 2nd.  I've been at it for 5 months now and have a pretty good routine but establishing it did take some time.

My advice is to listen to yourself & make sure you have a really good pump!  (it really does make all the difference).  If pumping so often is too draining (trust me, it is!) then just decide that you will do it on YOUR terms and be OK with supplementing with formula.  That's what I did for the first 4 months.  Now I make enough to cut out the formula.  You need rest & less stress. 

Trust yourself and know that even a bottle or 2 of breastmilk per day is beneficial.  You're doing a great job and there's nothing wrong with being frustrated!  And certainly nothing wrong with doing both breastmilk and formula.  :)  Hang in there! 

(my story...I have 2 boys one 2 yrs old (i pumped for 4 months with him) and a 5 mo old.  I plan to pump through flu season (April).  I pump 3 or 4 times per day and never in the middle of the night.  We all need our rest!!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2011
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 11:54pm

Wow...your post brings me right back to th early weeks with each of my daughters (both of whom I EPed for).

First, know that everything you are feeling is completely normal.  Feeling overwhelmed and worrying about your ability to continue what you're doing once your husband or support person is gone is very, very normal.  Also, this is how new moms feel regardless of how they're feeding their baby...exclusively breastfeeding, pumping, or formulat feeding.  Take some comfort in the fact that this is something that everyone goes through.

Next, I will acknowledge that EPing is very hard work (I've done it for two babes now) but so is breastfeeding and formula feeding in their own way and for different reasons.  Debate over what feeding method is harder is a waste of time....feeding young infants is tough no matter how you choose to feed them, so take comfort in the fact that the struggle and stress you are feeling is not solely due to your choice to EP.   Look for other moms around you (regardless of how they feed their babies) who are open-minded and supportive of all feeding methods...those are the people who can help you build confidence and realize that you are an amazing mom and you are feeding your babies in the best way possible!

Lastly, know that the early months are so hormone-clouded and emotional that it's hard to get a good perspective on things.  My youngest is turning 1 in a few days (which is what prompted me to come back to this forum for a visit!) and the obsession (and it was a complete obsession for me!) with how I fed her for the first few months was similar to what I felt initially with my other child.  Luckily with both it ended a few months following their birth and I realized that there was many routes to their health (and mine!)...I just had to pick which one worked best for my family.  For me, in one case it meant continuing EPing, and for the other it meant stopping EPing...situations are unique and depend on the mom, the family and the baby.

Good luck to you and contratulations on your new family.  Trust your instinct and feel proud of what you've already accomplished.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2011
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 11:53pm

Wow...your post brings me right back to th early weeks with each of my daughters (both of whom I EPed for).

First, know that everything you are feeling is completely normal.  Feeling overwhelmed and worrying about your ability to continue what you're doing once your husband or support person is gone is very, very normal.  Also, this is how new moms feel regardless of how they're feeding their baby...exclusively breastfeeding, pumping, or formulat feeding.  Take some comfort in the fact that this is something that everyone goes through.

Next, I will acknowledge that EPing is very hard work (I've done it for two babes now) but so is breastfeeding and formula feeding in their own way and for different reasons.  Debate over what feeding method is harder is a waste of time....feeding young infants is tough no matter how you choose to feed them, so take comfort in the fact that the struggle and stress you are feeling is not solely due to your choice to EP.   Look for other moms around you (regardless of how they feed their babies) who are open-minded and supportive of all feeding methods...those are the people who can help you build confidence and realize that you are an amazing mom and you are feeding your babies in the best way possible!

Lastly, know that the early months are so hormone-clouded and emotional that it's hard to get a good perspective on things.  My youngest is turning 1 in a few days (which is what prompted me to come back to this forum for a visit!) and the obsession (and it was a complete obsession for me!) with how I fed her for the first few months was similar to what I felt initially with my other child.  Luckily with both it ended a few months following their birth and I realized that there was many routes to their health (and mine!)...I just had to pick which one worked best for my family.  For me, in one case it meant continuing EPing, and for the other it meant stopping EPing...situations are unique and depend on the mom, the family and the baby.

Good luck to you and contratulations on your new family.  Trust your instinct and feel proud of what you've already accomplished.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2012
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 8:37pm

Thank you everyone for your support and advice!

The past week my boy has been EXTRA fussy after almost every feeding. The doc is calling it colic. I am eliminating things from my diet including my mother's milk tincture. He eats every two hours, sometimes takes me an hour (+) to get him calmed down and asleep after certain feedings. So I have dropped my pumps to every three hours sometimes as long as 4 or 5 at night. Has anyone had any experience with this? How did you manage to keep up your pumping with a colicky baby?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2012
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 8:44am

First of all, lots of love and hugs to you for not giving up.

The first 8 weeks are exhausting, time consuming and you just feel like you're not doing things right. Also these weeks are crucial to the process bcause is when you stablish your pumping rythm and increase your bm production.

I had to start pumping because my baby was underweight and didn't have the strentgh to latch and breastfeed herself. Luckily for me I found this group and the beginners guide that has been made by moms who were in our same place. Look for the beginners guide in the introduction of EPing.

Even though you feel tired try to relax, and look for something to do while your at it, in my case I have always used the computer to keep me company in the long nights. At first I used to put my baby next to me in her bouncer, now with 11 months she sits by me and keeps me company. We watch cartoons on youtube or She just plays in her chair and I browse thru the web.

E-ping is not easy and that is for sure, because when you are not pumping you are taking care of the baby and have so little time to sleep. But as the time goes by it gets pretty easy and you get the hang of it. At first I used to pump every 2 hrs and that lasted about 2 months, then I stretched the hours to every 4 hours so I could catch some sleep, also when the baby started to sleep the whole night I ended doing only one pump between midnight  and 7AM that way I got more sleep at night my recommendation is that for the first four months try to pump at least once between 12AM and 7AM because that boosts your milk production.

As the months went by between the 4th and 8th month I started to decrease the amount of pumping and instead of doing it by the clock I let my body tell me when I was having a let down, so it became 5 times a day, then 4, between month 9 and 10 I only pumped 3 times a day and know it is only 2 times.

The good part is that doing all of the previous things I described I was able to creat a milk bank that lasts for 2 months, also I'm 7 feedings ahead of her eating schedule.

The key to all of this is patience, lots of love and always remember this is a good thing, not only for your baby but for your pocket as well. Everytime I feel like stoping I take a walk in thebaby  formula section of my supermarket and remind myself to keep doing it.

Best wishes

Barbara

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2012
Wed, 11-07-2012 - 8:44am

First of all, lots of love and hugs to you for not giving up.

The first 8 weeks are exhausting, time consuming and you just feel like you're not doing things right. Also these weeks are crucial to the process bcause is when you stablish your pumping rythm and increase your bm production.

I had to start pumping because my baby was underweight and didn't have the strentgh to latch and breastfeed herself. Luckily for me I found this group and the beginners guide that has been made by moms who were in our same place. Look for the beginners guide in the introduction of EPing.

Even though you feel tired try to relax, and look for something to do while your at it, in my case I have always used the computer to keep me company in the long nights. At first I used to put my baby next to me in her bouncer, now with 11 months she sits by me and keeps me company. We watch cartoons on youtube or She just plays in her chair and I browse thru the web.

E-ping is not easy and that is for sure, because when you are not pumping you are taking care of the baby and have so little time to sleep. But as the time goes by it gets pretty easy and you get the hang of it. At first I used to pump every 2 hrs and that lasted about 2 months, then I stretched the hours to every 4 hours so I could catch some sleep, also when the baby started to sleep the whole night I ended doing only one pump between midnight  and 7AM that way I got more sleep at night my recommendation is that for the first four months try to pump at least once between 12AM and 7AM because that boosts your milk production.

As the months went by between the 4th and 8th month I started to decrease the amount of pumping and instead of doing it by the clock I let my body tell me when I was having a let down, so it became 5 times a day, then 4, between month 9 and 10 I only pumped 3 times a day and know it is only 2 times.

The good part is that doing all of the previous things I described I was able to creat a milk bank that lasts for 2 months, also I'm 7 feedings ahead of her eating schedule.

The key to all of this is patience, lots of love and always remember this is a good thing, not only for your baby but for your pocket as well. Everytime I feel like stoping I take a walk in thebaby  formula section of my supermarket and remind myself to keep doing it.

Best wishes

Barbara

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 10:54am

I also let myself get more sleep at night...especially once my little ones started to sleep through the night, I did too!  I was fuller in the morning and found I had to pump longer and often had more then one letdown, but it never seemed to hurt my supply - I was an AVP'er.  A good rest can also increase supply... :o)

One day at a time...that's best!  It takes alot to keep going, but our babies are worth it!

 

Pages