My desperate denial moment

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2008
My desperate denial moment
8
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 12:30pm

So, it has been 4 or 5 days (can't even remember) since I have pumped. Of course I feel sad, but I have been keeping myself busy and trying not to think too hard about it. I have been hand expressing a little everyday for comfort purposes only.


Everyday I would almost want to cry just hand expressing even a tiny amount into the sink. Well, yesterday at breakfast I made DD's plate and DH took it and was about to feed her. I hollered "no, wait" and ran into the bathroom (my in-laws are here and everyone looked very puzzled). Here I come back from the bathroom with a tiny cup of expressed milk. I stirred it into her cereal. I realized how desperate I must have looked because they were all just looking at me kind of crazy! The weird thing is, when I stirred that milk into her cereal I had an absolute feeling of relief that came over me. Even though she is still getting frozen BM, I suddenly felt so happy that she got even a tiny bit of fresh. It really is hard to let go, and I just suddenly felt desperate for her to have even a few fresh drops.


I'm sure they all thought I was nuts!

Shannon


mommy to Guerin Grace



Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

Shannon

mommy to Guerin Grace

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 4:41pm
Thanks for posting this. I am getting mentally ready to wean. I plan on starting 1 Jan, and I am trying to prepare myself and my DH for the crazy psycho woman that I might be during the process. I feel crazy for stopping when I know the fresh BM is best for DH, but mentally I am tired and exhausted and I really really want my body back. So I am trying to prepare myself--I keep telling myself frozen is good too. Hearing your stories is helpful!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2008
Tue, 12-16-2008 - 9:27pm
aww, y'all are scaring me w/ all this weaning stuff. I am already a complete nut case, just another thing to be crazy about in the future.


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Maximilian 4-08-2008
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2008
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 1:47am
Ahh - that's kinda sweet...
Hope you start feeling better about it soon.

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Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 8:09am
I totally get what you're saying! When I had a crazy stomach virus, I was the same way, witht he little Iwas able to pump. My DH thinks I amlosing my mind!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2008
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 9:51am

I can totally relate to this.....and I am not even thinking of weaning yet.

Sean Cooper   February 16, 2002

Harrison Cooper   July 2, 2008

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2008
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 9:53am

No, not nuts, just caring and loving and wanting the very best for your DD!

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2007
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 10:18am

i can totally see myself doing that. thanks for sharing. it really helps to know we're not alone in being ambivalent about weaning.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2008
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 5:04pm
I understand.

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Jilly, mom to Elizabeth (Nov. 25, 2007)

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