Do you let your baby "cry it out?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Do you let your baby "cry it out?"
8
Mon, 08-22-2011 - 5:26pm

I do not. However, the older my baby gets (she is 3 months), the closer I am getting to it. She sleeps through the night, but she will not take a nap during the day. She will fall asleep in my arms, and the second I set her down she wakes up and starts crying. My mother in law insists that I should let her cry herself to sleep, and my husband would certainly allow it if I was onboard. The longest I have let her go is about 10-15 minutes, and that is basically so I can shower or eat (or post this question). I feel horrible about letting her cry, but my god, I don't know what else to do. I can see my wit's end from here. Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2009
Wed, 08-24-2011 - 9:00am
In my opinion ur dAughter is far too young to let her cry it out i started with my DD at 5 months which is supposed to be the best time and sure after 30 min she was asleep but she was so clingy and cranky during the day. I stopped doing that we now parent to sleep for the most part there are times i let her cry though it works much better for us. 3 months they have no ability to comfort themselves and are at the peak of fussiness at that age I would have killed for my daughter to even sleep 4 hours at a time over night or take a nap she basically never slept but at that age they're still new and figuring things out around 6 months she turned the corner. I don't think there's anything wrong with letting her cry for a shower or while u do something but I think to start "ferberiZing" now is still on the young side
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 7:51am

people will always have differing opinions re: CIO and a baby's age.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2011
Sat, 09-24-2011 - 11:52pm

You certainly know your child's cues best, and some literature says you can start at that age. Just be aware of how she handles it. My son is now 15 months and I scrapped CIO early on. I was in agreement with the theory, but when I put it in practice, even if we waited only an extra minute or two before soothing, he would get too amped on crying before falling asleep. The jolt of adrenaline during the crying bouts was almost palpable and during the day he would show signs of anxiety. So I said, "Ok, this isn't for him." Now, most nights he sleeps through the night, only fussing if he's too cold or at worst having a night terror. (Nice to know I passed along night terrors along with my strawberry blond hair).

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 09-26-2011 - 5:44pm
In general, I believe the recommendation is to begin "sleep training" (of any kind) at 4-6 months of age. I know my dr did not recommend it until our 6 mo appt even though we'd been in to see her at 4 and 5 months and she knew we were having trouble sleeping. Much earlier than that and it may or may not do you any good as the baby is just too young to "get" it.

As a last resort, we did CIO at almost 7 months and it did work amazingly. I would still not recommend it, except as a last resort. We had been trying other methods since he was about 5 months and hadn't seen much improvement. When you are only getting to sleep for 45 minutes at a time and it only amounts to 4 hours of sleep total, you'll do just about anything to get some rest! Especially after 3 months of that!

I'd recommend the book No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley and the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth. If the No Cry strategy does not work, I'd recommend CIO, but try the other one first. When you decide on a strategy, commit to it for 1 week and assess your progress before you throw it down the drain. CIO was bad, but not as bad as not sleeping at all, which is what we had been doing. The first night was bad, the 2nd not as bad, the 3rd was the worst, then it began to get drastically better after that. The longest he ever cried was 59 minutes (at bedtime). But that was just once. Twice he cried for 20 (for naps). MOST of the time he was asleep within 10 minutes at bedtime and in less than 5 if he'd woken up during the night and it wasn't feeding time yet. I placed no limit on night time crying (because we HAD to get to sleep sometime) but gave him a 20 minute limit on naps because we couldn't spend the whole day crying. I'd get him up after 20 min and we'd just go about our day til the next nap time rolled around. I did not do the Ferber check every 10 min type of thing. He only got more wound up when we did that. I think we were actually KEEPING him awake by checking on him. Anyhow, CIO was what worked for us. Keep in mind all babies are different and will respond differently to different methods. Whatever you decide, give it a week as it takes time for baby to adjust to change. After a week you can decide to take it or leave it.

Manda :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 12:15pm

Would love to know what methods you use to get your child's sleep to improve like this!!

There doesn't seem to be a Toddler Sleep board so I thought I would start here. DS, 16 months old, has been sleeping through the night 99% of the time since he was 7 months. In the past three weeks, he wakes up 2 nights a week 3-5 hours
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Tue, 11-29-2011 - 12:17pm

How did you reconcile CIO with still feeding at night?

There doesn't seem to be a Toddler Sleep board so I thought I would start here. DS, 16 months old, has been sleeping through the night 99% of the time since he was 7 months. In the past three weeks, he wakes up 2 nights a week 3-5 hours
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2008
Thu, 12-01-2011 - 2:28pm

thre's a very good book called "the sleep easy solution for exhausted parents" that includes how to incorporate night feeds while teaching your child how to sleep on their own.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2011
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 10:13pm

My 3 month old wouldn't nap on his own either. He would only sleep on me and it became very frustrating. I read the book Babywise and it told me to let him cry it out. My mom stayed with me the first time I let him cry it out. I really wanted this to work so i could have free times during the day. I let him cry for one hour, which was the most difficult thing I had to do. I kept trying this for a week and it never worked or got shorter. I couldn't take it anymore so now I