7 yo doesn't have any friends?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2005
7 yo doesn't have any friends?
7
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 11:21am

Hello!

It's been quite some time since I've posted, but these trusty IV message boards have never let me down!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 11:52am

Hi Heather!

Welcome back to the boards! The support here is great, isn't it? :)

Have you talked to Sean about it? Does it bother him? With school starting back up, you have a great resource at hand in his teacher. She might be able to facilitate friendship blooming between him and the other kids in the class or give you some good ideas.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2005
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 11:58am

Honestly, he doesn't seem to be affected by it or even notice it. I guess I'm getting into that danger zone of comparing my child to others. I see the children of friends and aquantances who are similar in age and they all seem to have a "best friend" and other friends from school or sports or ballet, etc. Sean plays basketball in the Winter, but even there, while the other boys and girls would play around and knew each other, Sean was never really a part of it. Perhaps asking his teacher this year would be a good idea.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 12:10pm

I think we all fall into the trap of comparing. The funny part is, we want them to be like nobody else! LOL

My boys are homeschooled and while they do have friends,


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2008
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 12:17pm
Hi Heather,

Welcome to the board (and welcome back to iVillage!). I look forward to getting to know you better. :)

My middle son just turned 8 and he is just now starting to develop friendships. He's never had a sleepover (nor has he been invited to one) and only in the last 6 months or so has he started to get invited to birthday parties. Like your son, he's a polite kid, seems to get along well with others, but just doesn't have best friends.

I was really worried about this when my oldest son was about this same age. My friends have girls and they were always talking about how close they are to their friends. I was baffled! It seems to me that boys, for the most part, just don't latch on to friends the same way that girls do at such a young age. I could be wrong, but that's what I've noticed.

I agree with Wendy about using the teacher as a resource. Since you are at the school often anyway, perhaps you can bring it up in conversation. Chances are there is another boy or two in the class that is the same way and maybe she can help to make a connection between the boys. You could also encourage your son to invite a classmate over for a play date. If he's on the shy side, having just one boy over at a time at his home (where he is comfortable), may really help.

Good luck and let us know how things are going!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2005
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 1:30pm

Thanks for the link to the signature boards. I knew they were out there, just wasn't able to find them as easily as I had thought.

Interestingly, the friends I spoke of also have girls, not boys. So it appears that, for a boy, Sean is normal.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 9:19pm

Heather, my younger son, now 13,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 4:02pm
I'm trying to remember if the older boys had "close" friends when they were 7yo. Nathaniel is almost 5 and has a few friends that he is closer to than others, more because we are close friends with the parents or in one case it is his sitter's daughter.

I tend to be a bit of a social butterfly so from preschool on up, I was eager to set up playdates and activities with the kids they mentioned most. As they got a bit older, scouts (and short stints with sports) or other "groups" helped to cement some of those friendships.

I think his teacher will be a great resource! Be willing to set up some playdates or outings (McD's playland, local playground, etc). If you decide to register him for Scouts, that opens more opportunities. And most importantly, if he isn't actively isolating himself and is comfortable with his "social standing" I wouldn't worry too much. Most kids find their own little niche where they are comfortable. :-)

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