Should I let my son quit scouts?

Avatar for cmckinn
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Should I let my son quit scouts?
9
Tue, 08-21-2012 - 11:29pm

Hi all,

I have never posted on this board, but I am an old time member at ivillage and always received good advice when I posted, so I thought I would ask everyone here.

My son was so gung ho when he crossed over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts.  He has never been very focused or ambitious, so when he told me he wanted to go all the way to Eagle scout, I got very excited.  He seemed to love it for the first 2 or 3 years and went on lots of campouts and was pretty involved.  He has been trying to get me to let him quit for the last year or so.  He can learn so much by sticking with it, but I don't know if I have it in me to fight it any longer.  Now with the school year starting, we will have to pay a new round of dues and I will have to struggle to get him to go to meetings again.  Should I let him quit?  Has anyone experienced this situation before?

Thanks for any feedback you have!

 

Carole

Community Leader
Registered: 06-27-2006
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 8:39am
Hi Carole welcome back!

My boys never 'took' to boy scouts. Tyler and Kolby both signed up their first eligible year, and quit going before the school year was out. So, as you can see, I let them quit.

It's my opinion that kids 'have' to do so much, and scouts are supposed to be enjoyable.

Have you talked to him about why he isn't enjoying it anymore? There may be an easy fix to his wanting to quit. Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 11:02am

I had a similar experience with my son and band.  He had been in the band at school for a couple of years and then decided he wanted to quit.  He really pestered me about it and it was very stressful.  I really thought it was a good experience for him and I wanted him to continue, but it was exhausting fighting him on it.  I decided he needed to finish out the year but that I would let him quit once the year was out. It was a tough year, but once that year was up and he left band things were much less stressful, and I felt I had made the right decision.  If I were you, since it's a new year starting I would probably allow your son to stop.  Good luck!

Community Leader
Registered: 04-08-2008
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 12:07pm
Hi Carole,

The other ladies had some great advice for you. I too would have a talk with him to see what his reasons are for quitting. If they are good, solid reasons, I'd probably let him quit before starting a new year. Extra curricular activities are supposed to be enjoyable, and if he just doesn't like Scouts, it may be time to look for something else that holds his interest. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Wed, 08-22-2012 - 2:36pm
Does he do other things? I would let him quit if he has something else he would like to do. My kids like scouts, but do other things as well.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

Avatar for cmckinn
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 7:40pm

I have talked to him about why he wants to quit several times.  His main reason is that he basically doesn't enjoy it any more.  He thought the scouts would have more independence on campouts than they have.  He doesn't understand the leaders need to be there.  He also has had a couple other friends quit.  I think most importantly, since he's older, many boys from his patrol don't go to the meetings any more due to other activities, so he gets bored.  I've given him ideas about getting involved in other ways and I have let him skip meetings, but he continues to ask to quit.  I don't think he really has any real reasons for wanting to quit other than he just doesn't want to do it any more, but I am getting tired of fighting it!

Thanks for your reply!

Avatar for cmckinn
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 7:41pm

Thank you, Laura!  I had the same thing happen to him two years ago with band!   So, I feel a little deja vu with scouts.  I do agree that this is the time to let go if we're going to let go.

Avatar for cmckinn
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 7:44pm

Ramona,

The only other things he does are sports.  He is in football right now and in the spring he does track.  Between the sports and summer camps, he is really only at loose ends from November through January.  I would love it if his reason for quitting was that he wants to focus harder on his schoolwork!

Community Leader
Registered: 12-16-2003
Sun, 08-26-2012 - 8:56pm
As someone who had a kid just go through the college process, you need more than sports, take an art class, volunteer, anything!! They don't want just the good grades, just the athlete or just the artist or musician, but colleges want the everything.

Ramona  Mom to 2 great kids and wife to one wonderful hubby since 1990!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Mon, 08-27-2012 - 9:14am

I feel like the colleges put so much pressure on kids these days.  I was kind of shy and not much of a joiner in HS, but my grades and SAT scores were enough to get me into a really good college.  It seems like it's so different now, and that worries me because Alex is also shy and not a joiner at all (even less so than I was).  Lucas keeps telling him he needs to join something in HS, but he just doesn't want to.