What do you do about.............

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
What do you do about.............
4
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 6:32pm

.............the incredible mouthiness and absolute refusal to do what he's asked?

Ladies, I'm really at a loss right now and am typing this so I don't go out to the kitchen and say or do something I regret.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2005
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 11:25pm

Lisa,I really feel for you because that is exactly the type of thing that would happen with my Alex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Sat, 07-30-2011 - 11:56pm
Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. It's sooo frustrating!

Video games/netbook are a big deal here too. I think sending him to his room might have to start happening. Sometimes I just need him to be away from me so I don't snap. Luckily he doesn't get this way often but I do wonder if it will become more frequent in the next couple years or so.

It's interesting you mention the no apology/remorse thing. When I sat Ben down to talk later, I apologized for yelling and getting so angry. Then of course there is this big pause...........I finally said this is where you are supposed to apologize to me. He did but it didn't seem all that sorry if you KWIM. ;-)

Thanks again for listening. Guess this is just the beginning and we have to figure it out as we go.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-28-2005
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 9:20am

I keep getting more and more terrified about my kids becoming teenagers!

I'm borrowing these ideas from the Spirited & High Needs Children board because I think with most situations. I'm sure they'd have some great ideas to add if you want to visit there. First and foremost, don't feed into his energy. When he gets a reaction from you, it keeps him motivated to continue acting that way. Calmly tell him that slamming door, cupboards or whatever bad behavior is not allowed in your house. And, try to reward when you can and not always just punish (I have a really hard time with that one!) A reward can be as simple as capturing the moment when they're doing something good - I appreciate that you're shopvac'ing the downstairs, you're doing a great job of it.

When he starts mouthing off, explain that you don't hear him when he talks in that tone of voice, when he wants to talk in a reasonable tone, you will listen to him. Tell him that he can't be dependent on what his brother does, he has to be responsible for his own actions.

I know I personally need to figure out how to show my youngest son that his brother gets more perks because he does step up and clean when I ask him. I know it's unfair to the oldest that the 9yo doesn't do as much and I can't blame him for getting frustrated sometimes.

And, be consistent! I know we've been hearing that since they've been born but it is so important. Don't throw out threats that you aren't able to follow through with and maybe stop every once in a


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2004
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 3:05pm
Thanks for the ideas Wendy. Believe it or not,now I'm getting mouth from the middle one because of the way things were switched yesterday. They can't get the "it's a new day, start over" part through their heads!!!! Sheesh!

Ben hasn't given me another issue since Saturday. I've talked to a couple people and most agree it is probably the hormones at work. It seems like me walking away to calm down worked the best so this will be an exercise in me controlling my temper as much as getting him to control his mouth. Could be interesting! LOL

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