AP vs Mainstream?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
AP vs Mainstream?
8
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 4:20pm

i know this might sound like a dumb question but what do APers do that Mainstreamers dont parenting wise?

im only asking because i have very limited contact with other parents because it is almost unheard of to have children before 30 here in athens so i dont know anyone my age with kids. i have never seen a different method of parenting before.

even my mom APed us so i always thought that this is just the way it's done.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2007
Sat, 05-08-2010 - 11:20pm

Well we are more likely to breastfeed and even more so to do extended breastfeeding, cosleep, and babywear (beyond using a bjorn for walks).

I'm pretty sue that AP moms who bottle feed hold their babies and never bottle prop.

We don't CIO. We meet our babies' needs and follow their lead as much as possible rather than forcing them to our needs and schedule.

So far I've never met an APer that spanked.

I also think we are more gentle in general, bit I spend a lot of time on another board that is AP and advocates using grace based discipline so I'm probably more biased to that.

I've had to disable a lot of people from my facebook news feed because mainstream parenting makes me want to cry.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2006
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 12:14am

I agree with the PP. Also, IRL, all my mommy friends are mainstream. They put them on sleeping and eating schedules, put them in rooms down the hall (well a few co-sleep), some let them CIO, they're very concerned with taking away bottles by a certain age and sippies too, they all spank, etc. I'm kind of the weirdo :)

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             &nb
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2006
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 11:34am

Other then what everyone else said, AP parents try to meet a baby's needs and (stereotypical) mainstream parents try to make the baby convenient.

I have noticed now that my oldest is 5, that the lines get blurred as the kids get older. I don't know how most of his classmates were feed as infants or if they coslept. But you can tell the parents who put their childrens' needs first.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2008
Sun, 05-09-2010 - 3:26pm

Here is a basic chart of how the typical AP parent differs from the typical mainstream parent:





Practice


AP
Mainstream




BF vs FF
Believes BFing unless medically contradicted, exclusive for at least 6 month, and BFing on-demand
Believes FFing by choice can be sometimes be best choice for mom &

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 4:40am

thanks everyone for the comparisons.

@charleen, the chart was very helpful :-)

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2004
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 10:43am

Good point Joy. AP changes as kids get older. As kids get older AP becomes less about cosleeping and breastfeeding and more about positive discipline, unconditional parenting and mindful parenting. This gets more and more tricky as they get older! Lots of new variables to be considered.

A few books that I can think of that I've read on AP for the older child:

Hold on to Your Kids
The Hurried Child
How Kids Fail
Free Range Kids

Jeska


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Community Leader
Registered: 04-18-2003
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 3:42pm

AWESOME chart!

Gail

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2009
Thu, 05-20-2010 - 10:40am

I believe babies & children are deserving of the kind of treatment we'd want to receive ourselves.

Vegetarian. Gardener. Book reader. Writer. Music lover. Breastfeeder. Attachment parent. Montessori mom. Peacenik. Opinionated. Mostly green. Quite crunchy.

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