AP'ing a 2-year old
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|Fri, 01-22-2010 - 2:17am|
I am totally frazzled. I thought I had laid a great foundation for my DS, and that he would be over his insecurities by now.
We co-slept for a year, until he was ready to sleep on his own. I wore him for about 16 months, until I was too pregnant to wear him anymore, but he was too busy to sit in a wrap anyway. I breastfed until I was 2 months pregnant (he was 14 months old). I still lie in bed with him until he falls asleep.
But this child is super insecure. He cries for ages if he doesn't get his way. He cries when I leave for work. He's had the same nanny for 2 years and he has a great relationship with her, but he still doesn't want me leaving for work. He's started waking up multiple times at night just for comfort.
But the thing that gets me most is his stubbornness - I'll ask him to put something down / stop climbing the kitchen cupboards / put his shoes on, whatever, and sometimes he will just totally ignore me until I physically do it for him. I know he understands and can carry out the instruction, because he's done it many times before. And using the potty too- he can do it perfectly, but sometimes he just chooses not to.
How do I react to his stubbornness without losing my cool? What can I say to myself before I blow up? I worry that he will "forget" his potty training - sometimes he asks for a diaper and then I let him wear one, but what if he decides he just wants to stay in diapers? Forever?
I'm just finding myself getting increasingly impatient, and getting into a pattern of losing my temper, which makes me feel awful. But I don't know what else to do. I don't want to be over-permissive and let him walk all over me, but I don't want to control him either. How do I get him to be "a good boy"?
And when will the insecurity go away? He won't let me do anything for his little sister, which bothers me because I used to do so much in the way of stimulation when he was a baby.
I'm not sure if I'm expecting too much of him because he can understand and speak so well, or if I'm not setting strong enough boundaries.