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|Fri, 04-23-2010 - 6:00am|
I always suspected that my DS was more difficult than most. Now he's been at a Montessori school for 2 months (OT- what do you call it when a 2 year old goes to school? We call it pre-school in South Africa. Is it Kindergarten, or daycare, or what?).
His teacher has indicated that he's very demanding - he "needs" the full attention of an adult at all times, and if he doesn't get it, he loses interest in his work and disrupts other children. (Work being things like pouring, playing with blocks, lacing, etc). He also does other supposedly age-appropriate things like argue to assert his independence.
He is still not sleeping through the night either. For a few weeks, while he adjusted to the school schedule, he was exhausted and slept through. Now he's back to waking up 4 times a night, which is not fun when I'm nursing a 7-month old in my bed. If I leave the baby to attend to DS, she wakes up and cries. (DS has been in his own room quite comfortably for over a year.)
He also "melts down" regularly in the evenings, after school. He cries and cries, and I have to sit with him until he slowly and progressively calms down.
His teacher, who has been teaching 2-year olds for 10 years, suggests that he melts down because he knows he can get my undivided attention during those tantrums, and that I should tell him I will come back when he's calm. I should mention here, she sleep-trained her own babies, so I'm questioning this advice but still needing a way to calm DS down.
At night, I have started going into his room, sorting out his issue (needs a bottle, has a blocked nose, etc.) and then leaving instead of lying with him till he falls asleep again. He is protesting, naturally - he cries for me to come back. But I need to break this cycle, or else I spend every night going from bedroom to bedroom, shushing children and getting too little sleep.
At this age (28 months) is it ok if I leave him to calm himself down in the middle of the night? Can I leave him crying for a minute at a time in the evenings after school? We tried closing him in his bedroom with DH one night, and he screamed hysterically until I couldn't take it anymore, and he won. I went in and we carried on the routine of me being at his beck and call all night. I'm wondering if I overdid the AP thing - I wanted an independent child, but it seems I have a child who's more dependent than ever!